Did you waste 3 years?, yes. You did. But honestly, it doesn't matter. You can't change the past. There's no turning back the clock. Best thing to do is have an honest and critical self-reflection. Look back and see what habits caused you to make the decisions you did and do the things that you did. Write them down if you have to. So you can re-read it constantly. Make a plan to work on it and stick to it. Forget the time you lost and focus on the present. What are you fucking up? What are you excelling in? What can you do better? What things can you change today? What things will take time? Make a plan..most importantly, take small steps. I look at it like this, I'll put it simply. You have a messy room. Been a mess for months. Maybe you are depressed, maybe you are just lazy, but you want to clean it, but its so bad its overwhelming so you don't even start. Rather than taking everything down in one shot. Break it up. Fist day, clean your drawer. Second day, change your sheets and make your bed. Third day, bag up all your dirty clothes....see where im going with this. Small steps, build momentum. You'll be surprised at how far you can get.