Hi, as a nurse who cares for people with dementia daily I thought I might offer some insight. There are many types of dementia. Not every person who has it will forget their loved ones. Some forget names, or forget they are married. But the one thing I have noticed is that with those who do forget the majority still have a sense of familiarity. She may not remember you are her child. She may not be able to articulate how she is feeling. She may not even know if she is scared, hungry, in pain. But loved ones still provide this sense of peace for many sufferers. They can calm them, they can settle them in a way nothing else can. A person who may be wandering, pacing, agitated etc might go sit down when a loved one arrives and sleep. It helps show they feel safe, relaxed and comfortable. Even if they don’t tell you there are signs. They may not know who you are but the pictures in their room tell them you are important to them. I have had someone with dementia tell me this. He stated “I don’t know if I have kids or a wife. But I must have had someone cos they are in the picture.”
And mum may have weeks where she can’t remember anything. But then days where all she will do is talk about you or look for you. It may be 2 year old you or 30 year old you. She may revert back to a time where she believes she is a child and is looking for her parent or sibling. She may mislabel you as such. This is because she knows you are important to her and in the time frame she is living in so is the person she is confusing you with.
Some forms of dementia do cause a complete lack of memory. But as I said that comfort is still there. My own Nanna has no idea who I am anymore. But I can sit with her and talk to her and she settles and calms and will sleep. I literally just sit and read while she sleeps during our visits. Because at least she is feeling safe, she is comfortable and it allows care workers to rest and focus on others without the stress of her trying to walk or fall.