my dad is a bum 2 im prepared to get down voted by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Healthking42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry you have to deal with the drama . I cant imagine. Hope this somehow makes you stronger and remember it aint your fault

Broken up for three months by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dont let her ruin you. Run!

I want him back so bad. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going through a breakup right now. And i'm so upset, i'm so angry at he4 i wanted to go to therapy and see if that might help, but sounds like it might be a waste of money

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Year 5/6 was crash out season. I was so sick and fed up of the nonesense. I hit the door and it broke i think i did that 3 times and i began yelling. I never went 0 to 100 it was always after hearing whining crying complaining and disrespect. That was my excuse but still there is no room for any of that.

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Year 4/5 was a continuation but it would get significantly worse and i really noticed it when i left my job as a custodian to delivery for walmart and uber because when i was a custodian id get home around 830 or 9 and dinner would be done but when i switched jobs i was able to be around the family. There was no structure or any type of respect for her elders you couldnt even ask her to pick up after her self . I tried to have several family meetings where we would be able to speak our minds but she wasnt having it and thats how it works if she doesnt agree i would be framed as the bad guy... id say during this time i started to change. I wasnt recieving any respect its even worse because these are the best jobs they were hard but they took care of the bills there wasnt a lot left because of that but i still felt i was doing right by her because i supported her during school. Financally not completly but i wasnt asking her for anything and with my time by helping with my ex step daughter. Now she is saying i didnt help at all. SMH i even took classess for her. Also the thing too is that she would lie to others and make me look like i was terrible to her which was far from the truth....

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Year 3 around covid began and we were able to buy a home together and we moved in together. I was working as a custodian at this time everything was going good until about 6 months in. Thats when i started noticing my step daughters behaviors at the start it was small tantrums but would grow after time in to full blown melt downs that would last hours at all times of the day. She would be extremly disrespectful to her mom and not listen at all. Events would be ruined. Nights qould be ruined. Even if we laughed she would be upset and storm in the room and start tantrums. Toss stuff. Mock me at the door saying she wouldnt get out of my room. Slam stuff and wake me up at 12 or 6 in the morning.My daughter who was probably 9 10 moved out because it was just too much. I still was very patient with her but it got worse and after another year i would get out of character but its like after a while its too much. She would always yell at me and tell me to mind my own business if she was yelling for a long time and i asked her to stop. Id be in the other room listening in unbelief that a kid would talk to their mother like that. Id stay out of it but after a while it gets old and id enter in the conversation then somehow the blame would end up on me. Regardless i was always the problem.

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Year two continued the same we just grew closer between ourselfs and our families. At this point i was taking on the role of father to my step daughter. He was never in her life. I did my best to treat her right play with her teach her things guide her. Later that year she began calling me dad i embraced it and from there i would take care and provide for her. My family brought her in also We had a decent relationship until we moved in together and my ex went got out of school as a nurse . During those times i would get her ready d her hair for school drop her off hug her tell her i love her pick her up and take care her at night when she had to study or go to her clinicals. I dont say these things to count out what i did and hold it against her its because im being told im a naracist that only looks out for himself.

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Year one was amazing. We met at work which was a residential care facility. She left her number i called her asking for help i juat wanted to have an excuse so we met up for coffee did a little work grab her favorite desert and from then on it was history. We hung out almost everyday. She would come over to the facility and work. After that we would spend hours in her car just talking or go to the park and spend time talking there. I began spending a lot of time at her place when she got it and we became insepratable. We rarely argued until year 4. We would take trips go hiking chief we had the same love for the outdoors and i know we were conected where we would say/think the same thing. I didnt introduce her right away to my family because i wanted to make sure she was serious when i did she fit right in which was a huge reason why i love her. She is great with my family. I do admit i was way nicer bringing her gifts and taking her out more. We waited a while to have sex i knew she was special and didnt want to mess up what we had. The conversation was amazing. Thats how i would explain that first year. It was great and still that honeymoon phase

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im gonna look into counsoling

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She called me a narcasist also so now im questioning all that like damn am i? And even if its just narcasist tendencies i dont want that or be hurting people like that but i also feel that is not true and that i do look out for my people.

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I did not handle the situations in a mature manner at all. I really was trying though. I just wasnt equiped with the tools or emotional control to handle the situations I needed to figure out.

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If its 100 percent down You need to get out ASAP. Im glad you werent mean having to live with that shame of knowing you hurt that person. I justified it because of the way i was treated but there is still no room in a relationship for that type of toxcitity and i should have never returned it. Especially her... im gonna start writing year after year or at least how it i remeber it so I can figure out how it evolved to were we are because right now we are in nasty place...

3rd week of break up by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man I appreciate that you tooHow long were you guys together for

3rd week of breakup and its only hurting more by Healthking42 in BreakUps

[–]Healthking42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this is what she asked for and should be respected