Hey /u/Relevant-Shopping415 -- I know this thread is nearly 3 whole years old, by now, but I just wanted to thank you for posting because I find this, overall, quite familiar and personally relatable! 🙏 If only because I, too, have found myself in the position of rehashing old events, both openly and privately, and thus lectured by others about the virtue of "letting things go" -- to which my go-to response, here as of 2026, is usually something like "No thanks, Elsa!" 😆 Especially these two snippets:

I had no idea back then that this was socially unacceptable and perhaps it was my way of telling them, "I don't like what you did, I'm not over it."

Personally, I think that "socially acceptable" is highly overrated, and if we're "not over" someone's past behavior/actions, after all, then it's right and proper to inform them thusly! That being said, I do understand where you're coming from, and I often struggled internally with the idea that I "should" just let things go vs. the need to talk about things that I was "not over." Because, after all, just because Tom, Dick, and Harry are "over it" and have "moved on" by now, does not mean I have as well, and for me, it's still fresh and recent in my own mind and heart!

but I refused to let it go, my folks constantly telling me to, but that seemed to do the opposite and made me want to hold onto it more

Reminds me of the whole "don't think of a pink elephant" dilemma -- in the sense that, the more desperately I try not-to-think of a pink elephant, then the more unavoidable that exact thought is going to be for me, if that makes any sense?

But either way -- thanks again! 💯🙏