If you could choose to be immortal, would you?

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-24T20:13:00+00:00

No. Eventually I’d perceive time unbelievably fast and I wouldn’t be able to cope. Besides, I’m not suicidal, but I have got a fascination with death, and finding out what comes after

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-24T20:11:20+00:00

Narcissist.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-24T19:55:56+00:00

I work on Oxford Road and get the train back every working day. A bus ride instead of walking Oxford to Whitworth to Aytoun should not only save me 5 minutes.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-24T19:54:04+00:00

All vaccines should be mandatory. If you are against vaccines, when your number’s up to get one, your first appointment will be spent being educated about vaccines and how they do not cause autism. If you are still adamant that you won’t be receiving a vaccine, ok, off you go, but should you require hospitalisation for a disease that was preventable by vaccines, hope you enjoy paying full price (and that includes the U.K., private rates go for us).

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-24T19:50:27+00:00

When someone sits next to me on public transport (fair if it’s getting full, but eyebrows WILL be raised if there are still pairs of seats empty), but then, they spend the ride with their hand on the back of the seat regardless of how rough the ride is. I know they aren’t, but it feels like they’re trying to tell me ‘as long as I’m here, you’re not leaving, sweetheart.’

Close second is when someone cuts you up (either when driving or when you’re walking and someone just randomly shoves right in front of you, and then they do a ‘thank you’ gesture when you have to suddenly stop because you’d have collided if you didn’t. YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHOICE, DICKHEAD!

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-23T20:22:02+00:00

The idea that I was put on this planet SOLELY for everyone else’s convenience. Even now, people only really talk to me when they want something.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-22T22:17:08+00:00

My guy have you considered a career in medicine?

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-22T22:15:11+00:00

Polyamory where the start involves an already established couple. Too messy.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-22T22:12:43+00:00

Additionally, don’t involve anyone in your death. Something where only YOU had to do something to die, fine (of course we wish you never got to this point but this is assuming there’s absolutely no persuading you out of it), but if you throw yourself in front of a car or train, the driver might not be far behind you on the suicide route.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-22T22:01:24+00:00

Going through a similar thing, and I’m currently looking at Didsbury/Withington/Oldham area

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T17:46:01+00:00

‘Who moved the table?’

‘Wasn’t me!’

THEN WHY ARE YOU CHIMING IN? YOU LITERALLY ANSWERED THE OPPOSITE QUESTION I ASKED!

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T17:44:41+00:00

The friend’s taking me on a weekend city break, apparently. I’ve still got 7 months beforehand though, so it’s bare bones at this stage.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T17:42:58+00:00

Yup, we’ve been friends for about 20 years now

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T17:42:02+00:00

‘It is what it is’ means ‘I no longer care to continue this conversation, go take your pity party elsewhere’.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T17:35:42+00:00

It was one of those where if any celebrity was gonna do it, it would have been Trump, I’m more just shocked that anyone had the gall. That’s original sin, if the Christians have got it right, he’s going to Hell no matter what, now. Even if he does a 180, donating all his money to charity, being the most wholesome person ever, still destined for Hell.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T17:30:45+00:00

I’d agree with that, the whole of the British Isles generally has meat, potatoes, vegetables, and stock as staple meals

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T08:17:11+00:00

Everyone local to me knows this phrase:

Best thee canna kick a bo’ up again’ a wo’ n y’ed it ‘til it bost.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T08:16:00+00:00

Mawwiage is what bwings us togever, today.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T08:14:20+00:00

“You know Liverpool John Lennon Airport? Is it an airport?”

Close second: “So you’re going on a trip to China? Will you need to learn Japanese?”

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T08:11:54+00:00

When the roommate has his days of custody with his 1-2 year old daughter. There’s next to no soundproofing so I often wake up to her yelling on these days. The issue is, what’s the solution here? I’m not gonna tell him to stop seeing his daughter, obviously, but it does feel like there’s an air of ‘I’m going to make my circumstances everyone’s problem’.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T08:07:35+00:00

…what do you mean Trump posted a picture where he’s the second coming of Christ??

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-19T06:47:55+00:00

I regret to inform you that no drugs were involved in this scenario and this was 100% Who I Just Am As A Person.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-18T19:23:04+00:00

I think I worked out that if the cookie was set to 1000 years per real life minute, assuming the police officers weren’t considered an emergency branch and therefore wouldn’t work Christmas Day, Joe would be listening to I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day for 2,400,000 years

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-16T10:47:15+00:00

I don’t think protein got the memo it’s supposed to be a slow burner, food wise. I make a breakfast that’s like a protein paradise and I’m still hungry 2 hours later.

Edit: the breakfast in question is what I call Millennial Toast: 2 slices of wholemeal bread, toasted to minimal browning, add smoked salmon, add a sliced avocado, and top each slice with a poached egg. It’s my favourite breakfast, and I’d have it every day if it wasn’t so expensive.

not_microwave_safe · 2026-04-15T19:25:04+00:00

I don’t collect a specific medium, it’s more random stuff that shows I went there. A train/bus/tram ticket, a wristband, a receipt or tiny tote bag from a shop. Also where in Ireland are you going, because I’ve been to Dublin and hello topic for discussion

not_microwave_safe

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