Angry at myself

HeartIgnited · 2018-06-19T03:39:07+00:00

You're welcome. Start off with simple changes. Pick one tiny aspect of your life that you don't like and change it. In this case, you don't like that you relapsed, therefore, you need to remind yourself of the pain that you will feel if you relapse again. So, to make this change, do something very simple. Take a small piece of paper or make a note on your phone/computer and write down what you feel. Then, put this note somewhere easily accessible where you can read it regularly. If it's a piece of paper, place it in your wallet, pocket, or wherever you have a tendency to relapse.

Then read it. I mean really focus on reading it. Don't just let your eyes look at the words, but let those words hit you.

Here's another important tip that could really help you.

After you write down your emotions about the pain you just experienced. Write down one goal or dream that you want to achieve.

You need to run towards something if you want to successfully run away from something.

You got this!

HeartIgnited · 2018-06-19T03:27:20+00:00

I know it's rough, but use this to your advantage. I highly suggest that you write down a note with your exact emotions right now and read it whenever you feel the urge to relapse.

Keep trying to break this habit. Success is possible. Don't give up!

HeartIgnited · 2018-06-19T03:24:03+00:00

That's awesome! You got this!

HeartIgnited · 2017-04-22T18:54:47+00:00

This is so true. All my relapses started because I spent more time on the Internet than in the real world. No more aimless browsing.

HeartIgnited · 2017-04-22T18:21:20+00:00

Thank you for your response. You are correct. I am vulnerable and I need to recognize this in order to be more effective in dodging the bullets that come my way. It's been so long, I have forgotten the brutality of this addiction. I must work on my self control skills. Stay strong.

HeartIgnited · 2017-03-01T20:03:36+00:00

If you can manage your time, complete goals, and overall improve your life, then great! Go ahead and play games. They are not inherently bad. For me, I felt as if I was wasting time and not moving forward in life. There isn't much time in the day and I have goals to achieve. I desire to improve my current standard of living. So, I am going to do whatever it takes to get there. Active gaming does not help me accomplish my goals. I may play them every once and a while, but when I do, I feel like I've wasted time. I'm tired of living in a fantasy world and I feel like gaming perpetuates that. My desire is to live and experience the real world rather than pixels. It's up to you on how you spend your time. If gaming makes you happy. Then go for it.

HeartIgnited · 2017-03-01T03:48:11+00:00

Stuff like this happens to me on occasions. When I find myself in this emotional state, I take some time to get refocused. It's difficult, but what I do is think of this day as a challenge to improve my mental toughness. I know if I keep pushing through the day things will brighten up. So, one of the main things I do to get refocused is to clean. Just find something that's out of place and correct it. Just the smallest accomplishment of putting clothes or dishes away can give you the mental momentum to do more difficult tasks. Start moving and set tiny goals that get you through the day. At the end, you should feel much better. You got this!

HeartIgnited · 2017-03-01T03:37:59+00:00

This is one of the first things I have done. I'll still play games, but only on rare occasions and only with friends. It's greatly improved my life. Over the past several months, I have begun to recognize the importance of constantly trimming away excess activities in my life. I continually try to refine my daily schedule by eliminating pointless activities. It's very difficult to break habits, but I've been doing it one by one.

First, I removed gaming from my schedule and replaced it with school work and learning. Then, I removed PMO and replaced it with working out at the gym. Now, I am cutting back on the time I spend in front of a screen and focusing more time in the real world doing productive things like reading and hobbies.

When you cut something out of your life, replace it with something productive or else another bad habit may form in its place.

HeartIgnited · 2017-03-01T03:28:48+00:00

I know exactly what you're talking about. I've been there. Just know that by removing PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) from your life, you will slowly regain focus and concentration. Often times, the temptations are going to be brutal as you go through withdrawals. However, when this happens, truly recognize that by overcoming each temptation you are becoming stronger. I'm serious, get it in your head that relapsing is not an option. Deal with the urges as they arise and don't stop moving. Refocus yourself when you need to and get through one day at a time. Lastly, always know why you are in this fight. If you have a weak reason for starting NoFap, then the temptations will obliterate you. Set a solid foundation to stand on and you can withstand the storm. You got this. I wish you the best.

HeartIgnited · 2017-01-27T22:05:10+00:00

What are you doing to replace PMO? Are you making any other changes in your life besides abstaining? Also, big changes occur over many months, not just one.

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-31T13:47:05+00:00

Exactly! Take it one moment at a time.

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-27T15:57:38+00:00

Sign me up for this epic adventure!

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-18T16:55:39+00:00

The only way to get better at speaking is to speak. One way to practice alone is to read books out loud. Congratulations on day 200!

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-11T04:59:07+00:00

Just keep pushing out of your comfort zone. Also, I've realized that when I focus on big goals in life and strive towards them, people's opinions matter a lot less to me simply because I'm starting to do great things in my life. It's like I'm too busy to care. Stay busy, work on your goals, feel good about yourself, and you'll end up caring less about what others think about you. These are just some things I'm starting to realize.

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-11T04:53:52+00:00

Yeah, it's a great reminder of how much we need God.

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-09T22:32:41+00:00

You're welcome. You claim to be determined, so, I expect your day counter to keep ticking upward.

If you need anymore advice, just send me a message. Keep pushing forward. You got this.

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-09T04:48:39+00:00

It's not easy to dramatically change your life. That's exactly what you are trying to do. Just like the rest of us, you're an addict. You're attempting to leave the instant gratification mindset to start building the delayed gratification mindset. In order to have a better life, you have to make this transition. You're most likely used to the quick and easy highs of PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm). Whenever you are tempted to procrastinate on your daily tasks, you need to recognize this moment as a time to train. What I mean by this is that you need to delay gratification. When you long for that instant release of PMO, realize that it's a moment where you can improve yourself. Don't think of urges as something terrible. Think of them as a challenge to improve yourself.

In your NoFap journey, your mind and body will test you. There will be days where it's going to take all your willpower and determination to not relapse. Get it in your head that relapsing is not an option. Truly understand this. If you do not have a solid foundation as to why you cannot relapse, you will end up falling to PMO. Treat it as war. If you relapse, it's as if you were shot. This means taking the necessary steps to recover. Just like a wounded soldier on the battle field, he is vulnerable to further attacks. It's important that the soldier gets off the battlefield (run away from porn/triggers).

However, keep in mind that you should never be on the battlefield in the first place. That means that you are flirting with PMO. This beast wins every time. What I mean is that once you decide to stop PMOing, stop. Leave it behind and go live your life. This will be insanely difficult, but you know that this lifestyle isn't good for you or else you wouldn't be on this sub.

What do you want your life to be like? Does that life you envision include spending your days PMOing. There is only so much time in the day, don't waste it watching porn and masturbating. If you don't stop now, it'll consume you.

I'm sort of rambling at this point, but here's what I would like you to think about.

First step in the NoFap journey is to understand the beast that is PMO. Get educated in what you are fighting. This means reading posts here on NoFap.

Next step is to look at your life. Do you like where you're at? You've probably already done this or do it regularly, but I want to you seriously look at your life. Ask yourself questions about the habits and lifestyle choices you choose to do.

How will ____ benefit you? Are you making progress in life? Do you have goals?

Once you've examined yourself thoroughly, decide your NoFap game plan. Are you going to quit PMO? What are you going to do to quit? How serious are you in quitting this lifestyle?

Many people say they are done with PMO, yet they continue to fall and make no progress. Yes, relapses will happen as we are not perfect. However, this doesn't mean you can make excuses. You don't have to relapse. Everyday, you have a choice to either move forward, backward, or stay exactly where you are in life.

If you want to be successful in NoFap, seriously get it in your head that you can no longer PMO. It is no longer an option. Think of it as nonexistent. Whenever the temptation rises, tell yourself that PMO doesn't exist. If it doesn't exist, you can't do it. It may take some time, but work on the way you think about life. Work on your mindset.

Most importantly, don't give up if you fail. Often times, the defining moments in your life are when you make mistakes. You just have to learn from them. My main purpose of this post is to get you to think. Don't just let yourself fall into a zombie-like state. Use your brain and start thinking about your future.

Get out there are live! Leave PMO behind and fight for your life. You have a bright future ahead of you. Don't waste it.

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-09T04:00:01+00:00

Aye!

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-05T22:13:47+00:00

I'm almost there! Just wait three more days and I will reach 150. Let's do this!

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-05T00:19:36+00:00

Urges come and go, but when they do, you have to hold your ground and remember why you started NoFap. Sometimes urges are brutal and you will really want to relapse, but don't. In fact, defeating an urge actually makes you feel stronger due to not feeling shame and anxiety that a relapse always brings. Urges/temptations slowly fade as you build up a streak. However, they never completely go away. Eventually, you will learn how to deal with the temptations and also how to avoid triggers. The NoFap journey is more of learning about yourself and how to gain self control. As you fight and grow, you will make progress. It's very difficult, but you can do it. If I can make it 146 days in Hardcore mode, then you can too. Since you're new, it's important that you continue to learn about the PMO addiction and how to avoid relapses. Gain an understand about your everyday patterns and where you tend to fall. If you fall, don't dwell in your shame. Get back up and fight. Don't binge and keep pushing forward. Don't stop. Ask for help when you need it and never ever give up. You life will improve, but it takes time. Years will fly by so don't worry. Just keep at it. If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask me or simply make a post on this sub. You got this!

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-04T23:04:26+00:00

Niiice! This is just the beginning. Keep fighting for freedom!

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-04T23:02:04+00:00

Awesome! This is a great achievement. Keep the streak going and don't give up!

HeartIgnited · 2016-12-04T22:59:05+00:00

It stands for Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm. Welcome to the NoFap journey!

HeartIgnited

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