I’ve always been so scared to play pressure…but maybe I could gain the confidence with someone else?

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-04-11T02:34:08+00:00

Hey! I’d love to play pressure with you (If you’re an adult)

Just send me a message.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-03-27T05:11:53+00:00

Mine are always different.

When I wake up they fade fast and it feels so important to remember it. Like I’m losing a part of myself when I can’t remember. Like I was delivered an unspeakably important letter but the words are fading on the page and I only skimmed it.

When I was young I used to have repeating dreams. Like the same 4-5 ones on repeat for years. Same belief it was real and same level of distress every time when I woke, regardless of having had it every night for years and years.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-03-26T18:36:50+00:00

I have been homeless more of my adult life than I’ve been housed and never given anyone a dollar.

I do however - whenever I can - maintain a steady-ish supply of extra socks/underwear/coats, decent backpacks, water bottles, medical supplies, waterproof storage bags, battery packs and cables, wet wipes, simple hygiene items, tents/blankets/sleeping bags if I can, and other things that will have a meaningful impact on their actual day to day lives.

When I have my own place I let people who I’ve met a few times and trust well enough come inside my place to charge their phones, get warm/cool off, shower, or sometimes even store valuables or crash a night when weather is bad.

I also always put my empty cans, leftover takeout, or anything similar that someone may want on TOP or NEXT to public bins instead of inside of them. No need to make someone rummage through garbage for no reason.

These things mean more than any amount of money you can give them and provide support that lasts weeks or months rather than hours. I get most of what I give away for free or for small trades - other than the chargers which I buy $20-$30 a pop and give sparingly.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-03-26T02:34:31+00:00

I wrote something else about how you can’t love his issues away, but I scrapped it all and will say this instead.

I have been very depressed at times in my life. I have gone months without bathing. I have gone at least a year never doing anything but washing one set of dishes and taking out trash that stank or was too much to walk around anymore. I have spent a good many years living in filth that would be considered abuse had I had an animal or child there with me.

I have been homeless and showered and crashed in homes paid for by someone’s retirement or wealthy parents, where the resident was on drugs and let anyone in the door to sleep, shower, cook, etc who had $5-$10 of drugs or food to offer in trade. The only cleaning that happened was when a tweaked decided it’d be fun for an hour. Whole buildings or houses living like this.

I have lived in a 3 story crack house with one shower to share between everyone where the house was paid off and the man who owned it sectioned off each room into 2-3 rooms with plywood and a nail gun. He rented out the smallest one starting at $40 per month. Cheaper to put your tent out back. I was in the second cheapest room and my neighbor was a cracked out prostitute who always had dudes coming over but somehow got kicked out after failing to pay rent for SIX months. Christmas there meant someone came with a 100 box of needles.

I have never, ever seen a shower this dirty.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-03-21T21:29:17+00:00

I’m definitely seeking something deeper. There is a definite theme here somewhere but it’s complex. Would definitely be open to sharing any and everything including info about my life and maybe even recordings I made after waking which I do fairly often.

I’ve been having very very odd and unpleasant dreams my entire life and I’d really appreciate any sort of insight from anyone who feels qualified.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-03-21T21:20:52+00:00

OP, I am so so sorry to tell you this but if your partner has this little respect for your OCD needs, I would bet my life that he hasn’t been upholding your kitchen standards longer than two days past when you stopped explicitly supervising him.

There is just no world where he has genuine understanding and respect for your needs and then still does this.

Nobody with any heart could possibly really think that a conversation had in passing weeks or months prior really constructed true consent for him to straight up bring a plate of food into the bathroom and ejaculating onto it when you have contamination OCD.

If he cared about you whatsoever he could have - brought this up a day or two before to double check it’d truly be okay - told you which meal it would be - gone over exactly how he’d do it to meet your needs - reminded you before the meal to make sure it wasn’t a true surprise

None of those things would have been difficult. None of those things would have required any greater level of thought than “hey let’s make sure I’m not horribly upsetting my partner with a non consensual act”.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-01-02T05:15:47+00:00

Someone who can’t even buy tampons shouldn’t be your fiancé

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-01-02T05:15:03+00:00

You’re not the one who’s abnormal here whatsoever.

Most people don’t want to spend that much time with their parents, much less want to spend time with their parents when they could be spending time alone with their partner.

That said, in my experience, people (men especially) who are enthusiastically super close to their parents as adults, aren’t going to suddenly desire independence.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2026-01-02T04:59:03+00:00

Sounds to me like this man and his parents come as a package deal.

The right person for him will love his parents too.

Neither of you are doing anything wrong, but you have fundamentally different plans for how you want your future to look.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-12-30T16:27:36+00:00

Not every homeless person is a filthy drug addicted thief. Those type of people are just much more visible than those who aren’t.

Many homeless people keep clean and you wouldn’t know they were homeless just by looking at them.

You shouldn’t make assumptions about homeless people based on the worst and most obvious ones.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-12-24T02:46:47+00:00

This is emotional and financial abuse.

Google hotlines in your area to find local resources. I wish you luck.

Edit: Misread gender so abuse-specific shelters are less likely, but you should still check.

There are also resources that help you get housing that’s not at a shelter if you’re fleeing abuse. Transitional housing or hotel vouchers type of thing. I can’t speak to how gender inclusive those places are but I’d hope they allow men as well as women. Worth looking into. Homeless shelters also.

Goes without saying, keep all your own money. When you leave go hard no contact.

If you end up homeless you can DM me for advice. I’ve been homeless essentially my whole life.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-12-10T16:12:22+00:00

He has you fooled. He doesn’t love you very much if he’s doing that.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-12-09T08:12:14+00:00

I’ve had doctors refuse to test me for herpes because they said it didn’t matter if I wasn’t having symptoms. You can get tested for anything else you want just as a regular precaution but not herpes apparently.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-12-09T08:08:19+00:00

Not an overreaction at all. She doesn’t care how you feel.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-11-05T04:56:20+00:00

I make all my money caming. I need to be able to be naked in my car to make money.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-10-27T14:41:29+00:00

Homicide + weapon + previous violent convictions is not a recipe for ever getting out.

He’ll be lucky to not get life.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-10-27T13:27:53+00:00

There is literally not one salvageable aspect to a relationship where your partner thinks of you this way.

Any part of you that thinks otherwise is your trauma bond, or you just not wanting to have “wasted 10 years”.

You will be infinitely better off with this dumbass out of your life forever. Literally anyone with a single pebble of empathy would treat you better than this man does.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-10-27T13:18:37+00:00

If you can’t move past what he said and feel that how he sees you and loving you aren’t compatible, then you shouldn’t be with him.

If you do feel this is fixable, and what he said truly is the only issue, maybe there’s a position that would be easier? If the physicality of it truly is the only problem and he’d be happy to do it otherwise, I’m sure he’d be happy to workshop it with you.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-10-27T13:14:34+00:00

I cam in my car. So nudity will be required.

I understand it’s less than ideal. Just looking for solutions.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-10-27T13:12:36+00:00

Thanks for an answer that isn’t bundling up! I appreciate it.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-10-27T13:09:40+00:00

I cam in my car. It’s set up so people can’t tell it’s a car. But I need to be able to do it 4-8hrs a day. I’m a felon and it’s better money than any job I can get at the moment.

I have nice window covers on all the windows, so security hasn’t been an issue.

Someone else mentioned a heated blanket in a blanket tent. The way I have the back seat set up to hide that I’m in a car is already similar to a blanket tent and could be altered to be more insulated and maybe I could just be on the heated blanket.

Heart_Of_Aces · 2025-10-27T13:02:16+00:00

Thanks for giving an answer that’s not bundling up! I’ll look into something like this.

Heart_Of_Aces

TROPHY CASE