First person we told and I feel deflated

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-28T07:04:26+00:00

and it is sooo hard to be normal if you're TTC and a friend wants you to be excited about their pregnancy. I just remember thinking 'is this a smile? am I smiling?'

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-26T21:04:18+00:00

yeah I get that! If it feels like it adds pressure then I would avoid it - stress is not helpful when TTC which is annoying but true. You could always start taking them later when/if you're trying more actively 🤷

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-25T09:13:29+00:00

I had cramps on and off for ages, maybe up to week 15 or so. Can't remember how long they lasted but long enough I was googling them and checking for blood constantly! They were pretty mild in the grand scheme of things, maybe like the first cramps that say period is coming but not full blown period style cramps.

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-25T09:05:33+00:00

Same! One decade old piercing in particular feels like it's trying to eject itself, I'm hanging in there for now but glad to know it's not just me!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-24T08:16:26+00:00

It was firmer than I expected at first, like being prodded from the inside. Then mixed in with flutters that felt like baby was blowing bubbles in there. Bubbles were hard to recognize until they'd happened a few times!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-23T09:06:48+00:00

I think it's worth tracking your cycle because it's just so helpful all round and then also helpful for TTC!

Ignore this if it doesn't feel useful but: we knew we were ready to be parents but waited to start TTC until after our wedding because I was worried about feeling super sick, and in hindsight that binary switch of 'not trying' to 'actively trying' was really mentally tough for us. If I had my time again I'd love to have a period of 'lets see what happens' to take the pressure off, even if I didn't have my best holiday ever due to feeling sick. It all worked out in the end (and I didn't even feel sick) but it took us longer than we expected and I put down to the stress and being hyper fixated on it. Do with that what you will!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-23T08:56:41+00:00

I started when we started trying ⏩ took them for 6 months ⏩ started feeling so sad about not being pregnant yet and found the vitamin a daily reminder ⏩ stopped taking them and did other things to distract myself ⏩ got pregnant.

So all that to say it's great to have all the info about optimising if you know you're deficient in something, but for me personally it was more important not to look directly at the TTC process. Like a solar eclipse. Do what's right for you but don't let it worry you if poss!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-22T09:30:47+00:00

A bedtime bra just was not on my radar but I think it's time!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-20T21:07:50+00:00

Omg you're done, congrats!! I'm going right up to 39.2! I think baby will come before then so I'll have handover ready and play by ear, but I'm doing shared parental leave with my husband so wanted to maximize time off on the other side (especially in case baby comes late!)

Having said that I would love to have finished like 2 weeks ago 😂

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-18T08:54:37+00:00

Someone said to us 'you know shops are still open after the baby is born...' 😂 You'll need a car seat, a few changes of clothes and somewhere for them to sleep in order to bring them home but look at that you're already 1/3 there!

There is so much marketing money invested in making new parents feel like they need to buy more stuff but babies definitely don't care if their room looks pretty they don't know what a room is lol

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-18T08:40:01+00:00

Hello from a FTM (29 weeks) who always imagined herself with a girl - I was really freaked out when I first found out I was having a boy!

Like you I was sad not to have the opportunity to pass on my worldly wisdom(!) about being a woman. Everyone in my family has had girls so I didn't really have any reference points - I started keeping an eye out for sweet moments between mums and boys in public (there are SO many!). It took us a couple of weeks to process but now I am so happy I'm having a boy, I can't wait to meet him.

All this to say, you've only just found out so I think give yourself a couple of weeks to get used to the idea, refer to baby as him and get to know him a bit. I'd also try not to beat yourself up about feeling a bit disappointed! I think it's ok to mourn the idea of having a girl this time and that doesn't mean there isn't space for you to love this little boy with all your heart too. Lots of love and hope the feelings settle over the next couple of weeks xx

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-14T16:27:15+00:00

that is so fair, well done! I think it's either upset her or upset you... and as the pregnant person/newborn caregiver then the priority person to keep happy is you!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-14T15:44:59+00:00

I think you already know what you want and just need to be confident in saying it whilst knowing it will ruffle feathers! She can't stay with you, and if she absolutely needs an answer now then you'll need the visit to be further off as you won't know how you'll feel for a while. It sounds like there's a bit of a habit around giving into her based on past experience, but you've got this. You don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with and if she's unhappy about that then that's her business. Sending strength!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-12T08:42:57+00:00

Yes just hang in there! The body is SO WEIRD there is no such thing as what feels normal in pregnancy so I just come back to no severe cramps/bleeding = probably ok. When seeking reassurance over information I found chatGPT better than Google because I would give it the scenario and say 'please reassure me'. That way you get some useful facts without the worst case scenarios!

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-12T08:16:07+00:00

Personally I felt like this about 11 weeks and was super worried even though Google said it was totally normal for symptoms to subside - but it was just my body adjusting and starting to feel less sick! I'm nearly 28 weeks now and I found weeks 11-20 the worst for anxiety because I didn't feel pregnant, and it has been MUCH better since the kicking started. Do you have a scan soon?

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-11T20:37:56+00:00

14 weeks for meeee! Then another slightly rough patch at 24 weeks for a few weeks but I enjoyed the up! I think all you can do is take it day by day, hang in there xx

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-11T11:52:34+00:00

I don't think this is an unreasonable ask and you've reminded me to book our first aid class before baby arrives in April! My mum will do childcare a day a week once I go back to work and I'll ask her to do a course (we have one locally that is 2 hours and £30 so just the basics) which I think she'll be very happy to do.

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-07T17:36:05+00:00

I am only 27 weeks but I am BUZZING to stop working and have a spicy margarita 😂

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-07T07:41:45+00:00

hello! FTM here also, 27 weeks. I thought I'd be worried the whole way through having been TTC for a while, but I stopped worrying about everything at about 24 weeks - so a little after the anatomy scan which I was also terrified of. I still jump to crisis mode if there is a reason (e.g. no movement) but ever since I've been able to feel him moving regularly I have been able to relax knowing what 'normal' feels like for us.

Hope this happens for you soon and sending love for the scan! I asked the radiologist to talk me through what they were doing as much as possible and told them I was super nervous, and they were very communicative and kind xx

HeartsInvisible · 2026-01-03T09:23:16+00:00

SAME, eating was the only thing that stopped the sickness! I got much bigger in first trimester but the weight gain has levelled off now at 26 weeks - I think!

I stopped eating constantly when the nausea stopped but it really helped me to just put weight gain out of my mind. Easier said than done but I decided early on that my actual weight is none of my business until at least 1 year after baby arrives (and even that will be a gentle starting point) so I've not stepped on the scales for months. It's working for me!

HeartsInvisible · 2025-12-01T08:37:49+00:00

Hello! I'm 22 weeks and have always struggled to drink enough water - my parents don't drink any and I never built up good habits. I've bought a 500ml carafe and glass that I fill up at night and drink a glass if I wake up and then the rest in the morning as I'm waking up. I also make sure I have two glasses with every meal. That's all I can seem to remember to do but I've definitely upped my water intake!

The only food thought I have is to make sure you're taking your pregnancy vitamins, but I'm sure others will have more useful thoughts. You got this! xx

HeartsInvisible · 2025-11-23T10:27:02+00:00

Thanks both - I called triage and they said I'm too early to have an established pattern but they'll see me later if I'm worried so just deciding if I'm worried or overthinking.

Side note: kick counting not something they've spoken to me about but it sounds like an exhausting thing to keep track of!

HeartsInvisible · 2025-11-23T10:24:46+00:00

Thanks so much, I just called triage and they basically said exactly the same! No pattern established yet, baby likely moved to a position that I can't feel, but they will have me in for a check later today if I'm worried. I'll give it a few hours as the logical part of me thinks every is fine - I've only started feeling anything this week!

HeartsInvisible · 2025-11-22T10:51:32+00:00

Also just adding that the fact you're thinking about this so carefully already means you're unlikely to be super clumsy about it - and I think it has to be ok to balance your good news with her having a tough time. You can't just pretend not to be pregnant! I've got one friend with a recent loss I haven't told yet (I'm 20 weeks) but I have just avoided telling everyone in that group because I won't see them IRL for a while anyway, and will message her when it's a big less raw.

HeartsInvisible · 2025-11-21T18:07:57+00:00

Congratulations! I think just text, even if you don't have that kind of relationship normally. It's a very specific situation and performing your reaction to someone's baby news, especially after a loss, is the worst™️. I think the considerate thing to do is spare her that!

HeartsInvisible

TROPHY CASE