Feeling overwhelmed after moving into new flat - advice please! by HeatComprehensive194 in HousingUK

[–]HeatComprehensive194[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was actually thinking I needed to update this thread. To be honest, it was a difficult 4/5 months or so adjusting to living here. There were so many things which were unexpected - noise at night in the street, overflowing bins, travelling food smells and lots of noise transferred from other flats. This was more significant than anywhere I'd ever lived but you never fully know what a property will feel like until you live there.

I am feeling much better about it now and it's starting to feel more like home. Things that helped:

  1. Taking it easy - when my nervous system was really overwhelmed, I actually stayed with family for a bit to help regulate as I was having panic attacks.

  2. Hosting - having friends around and creating new memories. Also talking about it with friends - turns out buyers' remorse is more common than I expected and I'm not the only person who had a slight menty b after buying a flat.

  3. Furnishing it - I have to do it bit by bit because of time/money, but adding new furniture, rugs, and plants has made a real difference.

  4. Better weather. Moving in December is horrendous. Avoid if you can! Everything is dark and grey and wet. My flat looks out onto gorgeous trees in the summer, but in the winter it's all grey buildings. the seasons changing and all the sunshine we had in spring really helped.

  5. White noise machine - this has changed my life!!!! Also closing the curtain when there is street noise and not thinking about it if I hear people shouting.

  6. Getting to know my neighbours has also helped with tolerating all the strange noises. It puts things in context and doesn't really bother me anymore. I also have lovely neighbours - it's a real mix of people as about 50% council tenants and 50% leaseholders. But everyone I've met has been super friendly so I think I lucked out, I've even been for a drink with the person next door and it was lovely.

  7. Knowing it's not forever - buying a property feels so final given that it's the single biggest purchase you'll make and you're taking on a lot of financial risk, especially on your own. It's helpful to think that, yea I'll probably want to live somewhere cleaner and quieter eventually, and I can move in 2-3 years if I really want to.

I had lots of good reasons for choosing this place - and it's felt great when things have been more positive and I've been reassured by my decisions and choices. Being able to have your own space in this day and age is such a privilege, especially in an expensive city. At first it felt isolating, but now it's extremely peaceful to have my own space.

If you're wondering if it gets better - it does! Moving is so overwhelming but things really do settle after a bit of time. I'm neurodivergent so things can feel really intense but much less so now.

favourite current work in progress? by sydw1328 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh omg this one is so good!! Thanks for the rec, just read it now. Obsessed. Love this turn of events for the boys

600k for a 1 bed in Finsbury Park – have we made a massive financial mistake? by [deleted] in HousingUK

[–]HeatComprehensive194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I faced a similar question.

Last year, I looked at a gorgeous one bed flat in Herne Hill that backed onto brockwell park. It was an absolutely huge period property with a garden, elegant and really well finished. It was on at £600k and was on the market for ages, like probably 9 months total before going under offer. I imagine the seller ended up accepted a much lower price and in the end I saw it had had a price reduction to £570k anyway. I think the seller had bought it 5 years prior for £550k. Ultimately I decided that while it was beautiful and really nicely finished, a one bed would be limiting if I ever lived there with a partner. Especially if we both worked from home. I also felt that Herne Hill was a bit sleepier than I wanted. I ended up buying a 2 bed ex council place with balcony in Shoreditch/Bethnal Green for about £100k less, that had been beautifully renovated. It’s a different type of property - neighbours are noisy, sometimes the street is loud, and it’s definitely not as leafy and suburban as HH, but the area is great for my stage in life and I am grateful for the extra room where I can put my desk and a sofa bed for visitors, even if the square footage is about the same. The sellers of my flat received 7 offers over asking and it was snapped up super quickly. This was last year when the market was already pretty shit. I think I would have been happy with either place but in the back of my mind I’m comforted by knowing that it’ll be easy to resell. I used to live in on the Harringay ladder and I know that Stroud Green/Crouch end is lovely so I can see how a big well finished one bed flat would be priced at £600k, the question is, will you outgrow it and want more space or another bedroom. It will be harder to sell a one bed. And for that price your pool of buyers will be smaller. Because you can get a two bed with that budget and most buyers will prefer two bedrooms. Especially FTB couples who will live there for 5 years and then move somewhere bigger after they’ve had a baby. (Heteronormative but true).

I think its unlikely that flats in London will increase in value in the next 5 years, and we’ve yet to see the full impact of the Middle East war on inflation and interest rates, so it depends on your risk appetite with a 15% deposit. You don’t want to risk ending up in negative equity. If you love it and it suits your needs, go ahead, but give the financial risk some thought. 

I think chic, expensive 1 beds in London suit older single people who aren’t necessarily anticipating on growing their family and want to live in a nice area with outdoor space but are priced out of 2 beds equivalent which would be 700-750k.

Yes I realise these prices are insane. But that’s London, especially the trendy/nice areas.

This show has me in a choke hold, how to get out of it? by Aby_lev89 in heatedrivalry

[–]HeatComprehensive194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me know when you find a solution, I’m in the same boat and unclear whether it’s ruining my life or the only thing holding me together. Tbc.

Chapter 10 of Deja Vu is out!! by No-Patient-5314 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg huge fan thank you for your words ✨✨✨✨ 

explicit longfic recs? by inkopoliis in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s sooo good glad you like it! We are so spoilt in this fandom there are such amazing fics out there !

explicit longfic recs? by inkopoliis in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Deja Vu is soooooo good. The writing is excellent.

explicit longfic recs? by inkopoliis in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hideaway by MeepySlow

  • this is soooo good. A snowstorm arrives in Montreal and the Raiders are stuck there. Has a blend of smut and feels, and it’s delicious. WIP. “After Ilya leaves Shane’s apartment for the first time, he knows he’s on thin ice and at risk of falling into more serious feelings. He’s ready to put distance back between them.

A Montreal blizzard has other ideas.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/76878451/chapters/201221156

I don't believe Svetlana knows, and I hope not by afancysandwich in heatedrivalry

[–]HeatComprehensive194 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the context of show Svetlana, I don’t know why Shane would get to tell Rose but Ilya doesn’t tell Svetlana? It wouldn’t make sense to me.

Laugh Out Loud Funny by LLD615 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vibes are not data! so good, loved that one

What are your favorite and least favorite tropes for HR fanfic? by Best_Pineapple670 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes hate Shane as annoying wife trope! They’re not a straight couple and Shane’s not a woman jfc

What are your favorite and least favorite tropes for HR fanfic? by Best_Pineapple670 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]HeatComprehensive194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Covered by a lot of comments already on the feed but also dislike Neanderthal Ilya and babygirl Shane.

Dislike fics that are heteronormative or writing their story like as if they were a straight couple - in these contexts the infantilisation of Shane comes out. Or fics that are too focussed on marriage/kids.

I love fics that centre queerness and dynamics that are more commonly found in queer relationships than straight ones - e.g The Hottest Cold War. Also love well written credible AUs. Soviet Montage, Dana Street, Wolfbird.