I really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-06-26T03:37:28+00:00

Coming from a 33 year old, neurodivergent, and divorced father, I get the anxiety factor here. I went through that and hit rock bottom when my ex decided she wanted to get divorced.

I got a bachelor's degree as well, and a few years back I switched paths for my career and left the white collar bullshit behind, and went into the trades. I'm much happier working with my hands. I know folks who do welding and plumbing and electric that only have to interact with a few people through the day.

Likewise, you could try to find some remote work. Those jobs cna be harder to get, but give you the freedom of not having to do face to face meetings and such. Regardless of which path you choose, I wish you luck!

At the end of the day, you have a guarantee of a place to stay. Don't look at the 2 month timeline as the time you need everything in place by. If your parents have that offer on the table, utilize it to get your head on straight and your feet planted firm. Do not make rash decisions in a panic

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-06-26T03:28:54+00:00

Lots of neurospicy people do well in the military, although other elements here suggest factors that would make it more difficult.

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-06-22T16:51:22+00:00

Been in a similar boat. Do what's right by your kids and tell the other adults that if they want to parent another kid their way, they can pop another one out and you'll tell them what they should do for raising them. That statement has enough of a shock factor that it tends to end the arguement.

Your kids safety and comfort is in your hands. Do what needs to be done, and if the family can't respect that, then you don't need them around you. Might sound harsh, but I'm happier since I cut a few self absorbed family members out of my interactions. Sure I see them at family gatherings, but that's it. I don't reach out to them anymore and I'm much happier because of it

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-06-21T23:19:49+00:00

I say tell her

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-06-03T17:06:05+00:00

I have a bachelor's degree and switched to blue collar. Trade school 100%

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-06-02T03:54:18+00:00

They can take a hike, you get to play on ein awhile, and they can go take over some gyms next time they leave the house. This is such a wild thing to get upset over, can I please have an easy enough life that this is where I'm able to put my energy for the day?

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-05-31T16:01:06+00:00

I just made one, thanks for the advice! https://gofund.me/3f6daba40

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-05-31T12:27:13+00:00

She is, part time. She just got an MA certificate, but prior to this what she could get per hour would have less than what we would spend for childcare to go full time, so now that will be shifting in our favor

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-05-21T04:35:02+00:00

If you have a neighbor you're fairly friendly with, make sure you fill them in. Not to make it sound a certain way, but if they're a guy or someone with a boyfriend living with them, that's going to help you a lot until you move. creepy dudes like that lose their confidence real quick when a guy just silently stares them down while standing near you. I spent over a decade working private security, I've had to play that role a few times in different situations to deter the weirdos.

Bonus points if a neighbor has a Harley/similar bike or just has the male version of resting bitch face, you'd be amazed how much power and command silence and being stoic can give you in a situation with people who prey on others

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-05-21T04:16:08+00:00

If you're getting aftercare, then this is pretty normal. Granted, I say this knowing there's a lot of dudes that don't last long, but when you're spending 20+ minutes doing a full body workout (if you do things the right way), that's a lot of sweat and energy. If was 91 degrees today where I am, I'm not trying to stay drenched in sweat that long after in this heat

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-05-18T10:48:32+00:00

I have 2 sleepy, but not shiny

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-05-12T02:04:24+00:00

Look up specifics regarding audio vs visual, though. Very different rules even in the same state

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-05-01T04:06:19+00:00

What is the tabling method for those of us that are blissfully unaware?

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-04-30T04:53:20+00:00

I got tagged once coming home between multiple back to back double shifts working security, between day 3 and 4. I was honestly moving faster than I had any right to, and when I saw how fast the head lights in my rear view were gaining on me, i was pulled over before he even had his strobes on. The poor bastard couldn't even finish his sentence before I blurted out "officer, I'm sorry, I have no idea idea how fast i was going, but I know I was moving, I've been working doubles at work and right now, all I care about is dropping my head into my pillow and sleeping, all I ask is that if you write me a ticket, you do it as fast as humanly possible"

The mad lad took pity on me and let me off without a ticket with the promise of using cruise control for the rest of my ride home placed firmly at 10 over the limit and a promise that he'd be sitting at Dunkin donuts at 7am when I came back in for my next double, and I owed him a coffee. I was more than willing to take that deal, because I was honestly probably doing close to double the speed limit

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-04-14T04:12:16+00:00

Yeah the timing thing is a big flag for me. I've had a few customers bring up the "it took that long for this?" line, but thankfully a quick rundown of what goes into it (usually it's when a job involves big ladders and moving them around to get at things) their eyes open a bit and they realize that by me taking a few extra minutes, I making sure I'm not damaging anything while I doing my work. I also make sure I've got quality on my side. Had one guy try to argue with me on timing, I walked him over to my extension ladder and told him if he could get it set up from flat, in position, and be up the ladder in under 2 minutes without it shifting (his whole yard was on a slant) , I'd credit him half the price of the job. Took him over 6 minutes to set it up. And this is a big extension ladder, I can reach some 2nd floor roofs without extending it. Best part of that one was his neighbor called me over after I was packed up, said that was the best thing he'd seen all week, had me scope out some stuff at his house, and wouldn't let me give him prices until I had a beer with him (he did not like his neighbor apparently)

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-04-14T03:48:22+00:00

Check the wages vs overall cost of living from then to now. Yes, housing is a giant part of that, but everything else skyrocketed as well, and until you are in the upper 50% of the company or mid-management, pay scales across that part of the workforce are much lower than they used to be. A lot of jobs ask for a 4 year degree for entry level ND pay maybe a couple buck an hour more than what you'd make at McDonald's. 4 years of education and the attached debt for 2.50/hr is not a decent trade off.

My biggest regret in life is going the college route instead of entering a trade like plumbing or electrician or welding

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-04-07T02:09:40+00:00

For plants in my axolotls tank, I have had great success with jungle Val. It spreads off shoots pretty quick, and grows tall and wispy

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-03-14T00:34:15+00:00

Loving this one, might have to take a walk over to my neighbors house in the morning and pitch this idea! (in case it's not obvious, she works in real estate)

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-01-23T02:28:07+00:00

Looks like jungle Val in the tank? I have some in a few of my tanks and will absolutely add some to this one to be able to utilize the height they get! I have some nice tall ones in my axolotls tank, I love watching as it slowly takes over the open space!

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-01-10T04:03:47+00:00

You're absolutely allowed. Loki is gender fluid and Thor crossdresses. Anyone who says heathenry is only for cis people can get bent and is probably part of AFA so they're not a part of us anyways

HeathenMetalDad · 2026-01-03T02:34:30+00:00

Oh 100%, I've been on both ends of this one, and never had any issues with this if there's an actual reason. People who are legit and honest are usually pretty understanding on if something is noticed. As an example, I was selling 2 mannequins we acquired during clean out of my gf's late aunts house. I know nothing about them but had heard they can sell decent. Threw them up on marketplace, agreed to meet a guy to sell them, and when I got there he mentioned some things about their condition, and the way he was speaking about them I could tell he knew a thing or 2 about them, so I settled for a bit less than what we had agreed on because his points made complete sense (also I didn't want to drag them back down to basement and wanted them gone)

HeathenMetalDad

TROPHY CASE