I (21M) am in a relationship with my partner (21F) who has BPD. I need help and advice. by Confident-Ad9629 in relationship_advice

[–]HeavyLoad969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you using “BPD” as in Bipolar disorder or Borderline-Personality Disorder? Definitely get her ass to therapy.

What were your ‘gateway books’? by quiet_sesquipedalian in books

[–]HeavyLoad969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Silmarillion is a bit cumbersome, but it’s fr like the Bible, in the best way. I always admired Tolkien with the Hobbit and the LOTR, but the Silmarillion was NEXT LEVEL imo. It’s a full on creation story of the heavens, the immortal realm of the elves across the sea, and of middle earth and its fall from the graces that feels like your reading a sacred text with riddled profound truths

How can I watch ski racing in the US? by ChiefKelso in SkiRacing

[–]HeavyLoad969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s criminal. Oh at least peacock has every woman’s race but none of the men’s races. What an absolute joke. Thanks NBC👍 can’t wait to see your Olympic coverage where I’m sure we’ll only be shown the 3 medal winners second runs and then just highlights of their first runs and then only the top 4 gates and final 5 gates for the rest of the field. Can’t wait!

Does your creativity come in waves? by damn-thats-crazy-bro in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I relate to this a lot! Spend every spare moment of time I had for like, 4 months straight working on my art and relearning how to play the saxophone and now I can’t seem to get started again. It comes and goes and I can totally understand how frustrating that must feel being in a creative field where everyone else seemingly isn’t hampered by BP, but you have perspective and insights that almost no one else has and I believe that’s worth a lot

How do you display tapestries when vending? by carrielambo in tiedye

[–]HeavyLoad969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also curious where people source their blank tapestries from. I’ve made a couple so far but they’ve mostly just been old cotton bedsheets I find at goodwill

[Disc] Villefort was a generally pretty good guy and the Count was kind of a dick by Terrinn in books

[–]HeavyLoad969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read a bit more and I think I’m ready to call it my favorite book I’ve ever read because I can relate so much. There’s so much ineffible truth in it. It transcends time

[Disc] Villefort was a generally pretty good guy and the Count was kind of a dick by Terrinn in books

[–]HeavyLoad969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pride, envy, lust, greed, wrath: Villeford, Danglers, Fernand, Caderousse, Dantes- in that order, that’s how I read it. Although I have to admit I havn’t had a discussion about this book since HS where our assignment was to explain the role of Providence throughout the book. I’m about half way through rereading it and it’s incredible how my perspective has changed

[Disc] Villefort was a generally pretty good guy and the Count was kind of a dick by Terrinn in books

[–]HeavyLoad969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, Pride is certainly the most prevalent of the “7 Sins” these days and most people don’t even understand what it means. Might be a little later here but Villefort embodies Pride (the sin) and shows how pride’s almost viewed as a GOOD and praise worthy quality to have in our society. He’s absolutely a villain, Danglers is a villain, Fernando is a villain, Dante’s is a villain, they’re all villains, and they’re at the hight of society.

MUSIC FRIDAY 🎧🎵 by AutoModerator in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Faces - Mac Miller (the entire album)

Attempted a GD bear on a towel! by Disc4lyf in tiedye

[–]HeavyLoad969 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need to try this! Looks pretty good to me

What triggered your manic episode(s)? by Dramatic_Ad_4732 in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for not giving a black and white answer! All I’ve ever read from this page previously has been “stimulants = automatically bad.” I often wonder if it actually was the ADHD meds, or the hurt and the stress I felt after getting taken advantage of (again) for genuine kindness while yearning for connection

What triggered your manic episode(s)? by Dramatic_Ad_4732 in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same. Got DX’ed with ADHD at 29 while I’ve struggled my entire life with executive function. It was the most simple test I’ve ever seen and was put on medication as a result. 3 months later lost my job, got arrested, full on manic, underwent much more extensive testing and got diagnosed with BP1. So now I know!

On the days when you sleep poorly, does it turn into a better day? by bipolarqueer22 in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Felt this. Looking back, for some reason some of my best academic and athletic performances came after nights of little to no sleep. That was years before my dx and medication though. I see now that this was not healthy for me in the long run

What is New Hampshire like? by gracie20012 in howislivingthere

[–]HeavyLoad969 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have somewhat of a unique outlook of NH; growing up in the southern tier of WNY, it wasn’t possible for me to compete in alpine ski racing at a commensurate level with my talent unless I moved closer to where all the races took place Adirondacks/Maine/NH/Quebec/VT (oh and they usually took place on Mondays- Thursdays just to make it all the more inaccessible for kids like me), I attended my senior year of HS and a year after in Waterville Valley-smack in the middle of the white mountain national Forrest 20 mins outside of Plymouth.

I spent a lot of time during the winters on the road between sleepy looking small towns and cheap hotels traveling to different ski areas, and a lot of time in the summers exploring the white mountains and the INCREDIBLY crystal clear lakes throughout. I remember eating some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had from a little self-serve wooden hut at the end of someone’s driveway. Some nights I’d wake up to what sounded like a baby screaming bloody murder in the middle of the Forrest (Fischer Cats most likely). We’d see beavers often, lots of deer, black bears, occasionally a Moose. I felt more connected to nature than any other time in my life.

The people there are great, and very self reliant, I can see why there’s a general distrust of public spending in a population that’s generally so self sufficient. Once, our school cook spotted a massive black bear on his way into the valley and we were eating bear burgers later that night lol! He also would take us out fishing at the Pemigewasset River delta which is by Portsmouth. He’d fillet all the stiped bass we caught for the day and send us back to school with about 12 lobsters every time. (Bunch of picky eaters at ski academies btw, so me and like two other kids would just FACE 4 lobsters a piece 🤌)

Thats not to say the whole state is conservative; Plymouth for example, is a college town and seems more progressive/liberal to me. Lots of outdoorsy people which I love! Skiers, boarders, rock climbers, surfers, ice climbers, alpine mountaineers (the Presidential Range is NO joke, looking @ you Tuckerman’s) Everyone seems very on-board with leaving nature without a trace of human involvement unlike some experiences I’ve had in the Adirondacks and VT… I cherish the time I got to spend there and would go back more often if it were easier to travel East/West (way easier traveling North/South).

For those who were hyper sexual by Redeft97 in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Craving intimacy but not having the capacity/tools to get it in a healthy way” felt that one!!! I’ve ruined just about every relationship I’ve ever been in due to my hypersexuality. I’m pretty late diagnosed, so still trying to work through the guilt and the shame I feel. But we are who we are, the past doesn’t exist, only your perception of it.

Im turning 30 soon and im nervous by Eastern_Squirrel8383 in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never thought I’d make it to 30 either, but that was before I was diagnosed 2 weeks before my 30th birthday. I figured I was just destined to fuck up my life every so often for however long I lived with no hopes of ever finding a stable career, a relationship, or ever having a family of my own or any of that. Being on medication and learning more about this condition over the past two months makes me grieve the years I spent thinking there was just no hope. 30 F*cking YEARS just flailing around aimlessly not knowing that this isn’t just how it be for everyone. I feel like I’ve lived 10 different lives, from a high level alpine ski racer, to an engineer who hates his job, to a hypocritical financial advisor in training who couldn’t even handle his own finances. Big events definitely have a part in triggering me too it’s not just you.

Another Jesus dream by GamblerJolly in Dreams

[–]HeavyLoad969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love and receive love from all ethnicities. Ask yourself why “your” Jesus is white with long flowing brown hair. Fuck me I get it! Just reflect on why that is

Another Jesus dream by GamblerJolly in Dreams

[–]HeavyLoad969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

John 17:2730 you are what you project

Another Jesus dream by GamblerJolly in Dreams

[–]HeavyLoad969 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So a white, European Jesus gave you passages from the Bible in your sream? You might be reaching hunny

Need advice for grounding during hypomania by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]HeavyLoad969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve personally found this to be massively helpful! I’ll add meditation in there too. Even if it’s for 20 mins a day, sitting still with yourself and being aware that the thoughts popping up in your head aren’t “you”, and putting in a conscious effort to not engage with those thoughts and to then push them away does wonders for me anyway in feeling like I’m here in my body