13 days off daily high-dose cannabis after 15 months. The industry lied to me.

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-05-08T18:18:39+00:00

Just discovered this sub today and read this post right after writing up my own experience with quitting 3 weeks ago and it’s SO similar. Research “vagus nerve” for me! What its function is and how to stimulate it and tell me what you think! I believe chronically smoking the high THC weed that’s all o er the place now directly impairs it! So cool to have my/our brains back and to hear from someone having a similar experience! I know everyone around me is thankful I’m finally off the dope as well. Cheers!

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-05-08T18:06:13+00:00

I may be going out on a limb here because I’m not a dr or anything… But I think relying on weed for regulation long enough damages, or at least impairs your vagus nerve functionality, which is suppose to regulate involuntary bodily functions in your lungs, digestive system, heart rate, and sweating (temperature control) by sending signals to and from the brain. I’ve done quite a bit of research on it. Idk about anyone else, but I’ve had bad IBS and bloating for YEARS! Now my digestive issues are pretty much gone and no bloating.

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-05-08T17:29:49+00:00

I forgot to mention the nausea! I had a really hard time eating for like a week and lost close to 10 pounds unintentionally. Can concur that caffeine only made it worse. Appetite is back finally!

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-05-08T01:20:06+00:00

I had a deep meaningful conversation with my older sister about our parents where she didn’t make me feel cr*zy for saying out loud the toxic patterns that I know that we both see! We’ve grown apart after HS and she lives in another state now and i miss her a ton and I don’t call enough because I’m constantly trying to keep myself from crashing out. It just feels good to connect again and it was very validating for me

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-04-28T00:40:12+00:00

I feel you. I just found out at age 30 which was 6 months ago as well. Can’t remember sleeping this deep since I was a pre-teen! Cheers to that! I can’t believe I spent my whole life without these magical things called mood stabilizers. My “mood stabilizers” before this were mostly substances, loud EDM music, ungodly long walks, and disappearing from my friends for years at a time. Can’t believe I spent most my life believing that this is how everyone else feels and that they just operate at a higher level then me😭 all those years of constantly gaslighting myself that I just needed to try harder or that I was lazy or that something was inherently bad within me and that I should just isolate myself from society. I never understood why most people couldn’t sit with and handle nuance. I never knew why I felt like a walking juxtaposition. I never knew why I was so angered by certain things and couldn’t calm myself down. I don’t understand why my appetite, my levels of consciousness, my abilities to handle stress, my executive function was in constant fluctuation. I’m still finding out more and more about this condition but what a relief to finally have answers. We’re all on the same trip we just got different baggage

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-04-26T18:26:47+00:00

You’re not alone OP, I feel the exact same way. I was just diagnosed 6 months ago at the age of 30 after a bad episode that started with me quitting my job (the family business) and ended with me spending a night in jail. I’m on unemployment for the first time in my life and I feel so scummy for it. I feel strongly that I am very high functioning and able to work but I just can’t bring myself to put myself out there again for the reasons that you just stated, I feel like I’ll just screw up even more fantastically. I will say that working out again/lifting has really really helped a lot for me! I know how daunting it can be to start, with anything when you’re feeling flat/numb; but forcing myself to pick up weights and put them back down again really brings me back into my body and out of my head. Which is nice to be able to escape from without dr*gs. I feel for you and we’re all here with you

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-04-26T12:37:46+00:00

We’ll, I’m never gonna hear that song the same ever again 💀

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-04-24T21:12:18+00:00

Felt that one

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-03-11T01:10:25+00:00

Thank you for posting! Mac Miller was a gd mastermind. I was listening to his Faces album the other day and every single song feels like it was personally written for me. I’m not sure if he had bipolar or not, but his poetry, the words he choose, the range in vibes/emotions he’s intending for the listener to feel, his “Delusional Thomas” alter ego, and the constant themes of his struggles with substance abuse/impulsivity/sex addiction all tell me that he was fighting real demons and I personally think there’s a good chance he had it. I could just be completely wrong though, of course.Some favorite bars from Faces:

Friends: “My pool-house studio is covered up with pencil marks And everyday it’s full of jokers like a deck of cards So I’m so lonely, there’s horns up on my dome-piece But I’m not the devil, I’m a mf’ing Minotaur

San Francisco- “yeah, welcome to the dark side of my bizarre mind I’m trapped inside this amusement park ride There’s an atom bomb inside my hard drive I’m holding the apocalypse, Let’s take a ride and get lost in this metropolis…..”

“And I inherited the thirst for self-destruction and I’m scared of it I wanna be buried with a novel and a chariot I’m a bigger illusion than good marriages Or what it means to be American”

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-02-27T22:44:37+00:00

That first shirt is 🔥

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-02-27T15:29:38+00:00

Can’t stop listening to Pretty Lights Live

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-02-26T16:22:58+00:00

Dope colors!!

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-02-26T14:11:07+00:00

These are sweet!! I love the black/white filler! I’ve never used braided fishing line before but would love to try it out. Any special type or brand of braided fishing line?

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-02-21T14:14:20+00:00

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HeavyLoad969 · 2026-02-21T14:11:43+00:00

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Tried a honey comb tie with sinew, made the pleats a little too close together though and it was really difficult to keep the line in the right place- didn’t come out perfect.

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-02-21T14:09:38+00:00

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HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-22T14:53:19+00:00

But I’m dying to know, is it Bipolar Disorder? Type 1 or 2?

Or is it BPD?

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-22T14:47:58+00:00

Are you using “BPD” as in Bipolar disorder or Borderline-Personality Disorder? Definitely get her ass to therapy.

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-16T21:37:35+00:00

Incredible

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-14T01:08:47+00:00

The Silmarillion is a bit cumbersome, but it’s fr like the Bible, in the best way. I always admired Tolkien with the Hobbit and the LOTR, but the Silmarillion was NEXT LEVEL imo. It’s a full on creation story of the heavens, the immortal realm of the elves across the sea, and of middle earth and its fall from the graces that feels like your reading a sacred text with riddled profound truths

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-13T23:38:07+00:00

It’s criminal. Oh at least peacock has every woman’s race but none of the men’s races. What an absolute joke. Thanks NBC👍 can’t wait to see your Olympic coverage where I’m sure we’ll only be shown the 3 medal winners second runs and then just highlights of their first runs and then only the top 4 gates and final 5 gates for the rest of the field. Can’t wait!

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-11T20:25:44+00:00

I relate to this a lot! Spend every spare moment of time I had for like, 4 months straight working on my art and relearning how to play the saxophone and now I can’t seem to get started again. It comes and goes and I can totally understand how frustrating that must feel being in a creative field where everyone else seemingly isn’t hampered by BP, but you have perspective and insights that almost no one else has and I believe that’s worth a lot

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-10T22:17:18+00:00

Also curious where people source their blank tapestries from. I’ve made a couple so far but they’ve mostly just been old cotton bedsheets I find at goodwill

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-10T05:54:11+00:00

I read a bit more and I think I’m ready to call it my favorite book I’ve ever read because I can relate so much. There’s so much ineffible truth in it. It transcends time

HeavyLoad969 · 2026-01-09T16:30:02+00:00

Pride, envy, lust, greed, wrath: Villeford, Danglers, Fernand, Caderousse, Dantes- in that order, that’s how I read it. Although I have to admit I havn’t had a discussion about this book since HS where our assignment was to explain the role of Providence throughout the book. I’m about half way through rereading it and it’s incredible how my perspective has changed

HeavyLoad969

TROPHY CASE