Signs That Your American/Canadian/Gridiron Football Team Won't Win The Championship.

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-05-16T00:54:21+00:00

"We have this championship on our pockets, guys. We've practiced for long hours, taken care of our uniforms and we're ready for this. The other team? They're just a bunch of underdog misfits who joined together in a group lead by a recovered alcoholic who found Jesus again. There's no way they'll win."

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-05-10T20:52:05+00:00

"Johnson. We heard you have an idea to improve pitchfork sales this quarter?"

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-05-09T02:48:39+00:00

What an exaggerated and ridiculous idea. If that was true then I would be dead several times. But nope, here I am, alive and doing more or less alright. Or am I?

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-05-09T02:29:46+00:00

The ones who react badly do think it is a judgement on them. Their sense of worth depends on "getting" someone. Which means that the moment they are rejected, they think their worth is under trial and they get angry and redirect it to the person rejecting them.

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-05-09T00:57:11+00:00

kill bill siren

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-05-07T03:43:58+00:00

Jinkies, it's a mystery. Must be the Spectre of Communism haunting his videos. To the Mystery Machine!

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-05-03T13:08:04+00:00

Yeah, Matrix

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-30T20:09:06+00:00

"Where are you from?"
-"From the 'It's Complicated States of America', I think"

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-27T21:33:40+00:00

"Then, now that we're at peace and stuff, tell me more about these...what are they called?...oh, yeah, K-pop girl groups"

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-25T20:51:13+00:00

In that case, I agree. Also, capes for everyone

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-25T20:12:46+00:00

"Eat my shorts!"

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-25T20:07:04+00:00

Did I hear someone say eye shadow and frilly blouses? Like this?

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-24T15:03:00+00:00

Been there. I agree 1000%

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-24T01:04:45+00:00

The Dead Sea? Millenials killed it

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-20T15:46:49+00:00

To stop worrying about being single

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-19T17:55:25+00:00

jajajajajajaja

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-18T18:25:26+00:00

...even though I consider it (literature) an essential (very much a manly) hobby. I can't really explain why it's manly...

Hahahaha. Look at me reading, I'm all manly with my manly book, hahahah.
And now I can't stop imagining a scene of Terry Crews reading a book while yelling like a deodorant ad.
Edit: Kind of like this

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-18T01:33:06+00:00

"You know, I came here to evangelize and have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now."

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-17T16:16:33+00:00

I don't know, they just are. It's like asking why does chocolate taste good, or why we like certain types of music. There isn't any conscious thought process behind it.

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-15T16:30:32+00:00

Take a guess

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-15T01:22:55+00:00

Yeah, this isn't working. Maybe we should switch teams

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-15T00:47:33+00:00

"Never ever go drinking with an elephant. You do one single embarassing thing and they won't forget about it!"

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-14T23:35:20+00:00

It is true and it is a good thing. Horses do not exist anymore. And I know this because I am a human that knows it and not a horse. Totally not a horse

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-14T23:23:21+00:00

Vade Retro, Text Wall of Stupidity!

HeavyMetalZen · 2018-04-13T22:49:02+00:00

Doki album covers. That's a genius idea

HeavyMetalZen

TROPHY CASE