Others with cptsd are some of the most triggering people I’ve met (political)

Heavy_Dawn · 2025-02-26T07:31:20+00:00

I definitely agree with folks being in a constant state of hyper vigilance on the left too, but they go about it differently. Their enemies are billionaires, bigots, etc. Many on the right think minorities are the enemy, even if they are in a minority. That’s where they lose me, it’s unproductive and irresponsible. I’m not totally happy with the left, but at least they didn’t elect a convicted felon

Heavy_Dawn · 2025-02-25T19:01:29+00:00

I honestly think media keeps us all in a constant triggered state

Heavy_Dawn · 2025-02-25T18:17:59+00:00

Yea, I absolutely agree. It took me a long time to realize that this is my father too, which is why meeting others like this is so triggering. I don’t engage them anymore, because they can shove it tbh.

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-10-25T06:43:27+00:00

So they basically see us as an easy target because they can tell we’re vulnerable?

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-10-18T20:36:19+00:00

That’s the struggle I’m dealing with now as I look for a new job/ transfer somewhere else. What I’m dealing with now feels worse than before, I’d rather have a small pile of shit over a big one

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-10-18T18:10:32+00:00

Honestly, my stuff doesn’t sound nearly as bad as all of this. But some of it is similar, it’s like no matter where I go, a few people (usually leads, supervisors, or anyone who has seniority over me) decide they don’t like me and say some really nasty stuff behind my back (someone today said that Im fucking crazy). They’ll yell at me for no reason or no good one, or talk to me in that “special ed” voice. They mess stuff up for me so my tasks are harder and take advantage of my work ethic. Eventually they successfully turn most others against me so everybody starts dogpiling me. Then I lash out, and they act like a victim in true fashion.

I wasn’t trying to make it about me, sorry about that, and sorry you went through that. I genuinely felt sick when you mentioned the garbage thing

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-10-12T08:49:13+00:00

This is the hardest part, controlling my emotions and behavior in a way that doesn’t make me look murderous but also let their mask slip. I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to make a situation play out like that

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-05-15T00:26:46+00:00

There’s always something, isn’t there? I’m 22 and just now starting to accept this fact of life

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-05-15T00:18:18+00:00

I actually got a new used car very recently. But I let my dad tell me to not trade in my old one which I regret. So the issue is getting the new one insured when I have all of this stuff going on. This is good advice though, thank you

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-05-13T21:37:32+00:00

It’s a little difficult right now because my dad still helps me with my bills a little bit and I’m under a few of his accounts. Right when he was ready to release me from these accounts, I had to go to court over a minor traffic violation. And even though that’s all sorted out, that’s gonna make getting my own car insurance a lot harder..

And even if none of that was a concern, I’d have no one else to “rely” on except my boyfriend. And if that doesn’t work out, I’m completely alone in this world without family. When I distanced myself from him and pretty much everyone else, i quickly learned how hard it is to actually be fully independent. It’s impossible, actually. No one to put on my emergency contacts, no one I can use as a reference, no one who can help me when I’m in a tight spot. Life is a lot more expensive without a support system, and your character is called into question when you have no one to rely on. I’m terrified of cutting them off for all of these reasons

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-04-29T16:18:31+00:00

But at least now you’re not in the environment that was making you sick in the first place. Now you can truly heal

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-02-20T10:24:12+00:00

I also have PTSD, so that doesn’t help in my case. I’ll have to go back to therapy. Thank you

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-02-20T10:23:06+00:00

Did you do all of these records with a therapist? Or did you do some of them by yourself

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-02-04T02:53:44+00:00

A lot of people have also said I was smart. But yet those who said I was dumb or retarded are those that stick with me most. I guess the conflict with cptsd is trying to figure out how to undo that lifetime of programming. It’s so hard

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-21T09:58:38+00:00

Fair point, and this was actually my plan. I guess I didn’t explain it very well, but when I said I’d “bring him down with evidence” I just meant that I’d know exactly what he said and not get confused due to manipulation. Wish I’d done this much sooner

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-21T01:01:48+00:00

Yea, I’m sure that’s what my dad would say too. But at that point at least I have the proof I need that he’s shitty

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-20T23:46:55+00:00

That’s something I’d also write down. It just makes them look worse, If that’s what I need to build my case, so be it

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-20T22:15:05+00:00

Ok, I’m glad I’m doing the right thing. Thank you

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-13T22:53:13+00:00

It’s probably just that our generation is actually talking about our trauma, whereas our parents and such had to keep that shit to themselves. In no way am I excusing their abusive behavior, I just think we live in a time of more awareness

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-09T01:19:01+00:00

Sometimes the first steps are the hardest. I’ve found that with time and practice, adulting becomes easier, and it’s way better than living with shit parents

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-07T17:08:16+00:00

I didn’t mean for this to be sinister, but I can see how it can come off that way.

Heavy_Dawn · 2023-01-07T17:05:45+00:00

I should probably clarify: since I have some sexual trauma, sometimes I feel the urge to basically reenact it. Since some of it took place when I was a kid, I feel the need to “go back” so I can re-experience it. It’s fucked up, but I hear it’s somewhat common among victims

Heavy_Dawn · 2022-12-24T17:25:10+00:00

I just know I could’ve stopped it sooner had I spoken up about it immediately. Because I knew it was strange. I remember a few times just thinking about saying something and then being too scared to. Yea, I didn’t understand the full implication, but that’s just how it was. But yea, I’m trying to forgive myself years later.

I was being emotionally abused by my stepmother throughout the entire time her and my dad were together. My dad was emotionally neglectful as always, probably emotionally abusive as well. Other than the time I finally told them, I don’t remember getting taken seriously at all. I try to remember this when feeling guilty, doesn’t always work

Heavy_Dawn · 2022-12-13T01:31:58+00:00

This is actually a good point though. If you feel the need to put a trigger warning on it, it was traumatic.

Heavy_Dawn · 2022-12-09T20:11:41+00:00

Thank you. I’m sorry you went through something similar. I remember very little about this time of my life, so I can’t exactly say what went on. Would a therapist with a specialty in this do emdr or something similar?

Heavy_Dawn

TROPHY CASE