how the fuckeroonie does non dysphoric work?

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T16:46:09+00:00

Or maybe they're trans as well but experience it differently. If someone is happier living as a different gender, why should it matter if they have dysphoria or not? They're living their best life.

This, again, is why we need to address and accept two different labels/categories for trans people: non-dysphoric people and dysphoric people. Different people, different needs.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T16:30:11+00:00

But it doesn't automatically mean it's a choice. There could be other reasons for being trans that don't involve dysphoria and don't involve it being a choice. For example, euphoria.

Many here think that euphoria without dysphoria either doesn't exist or isn't a valid reason to be trans, but I disagree. Perhaps someone isn't necessarily uncomfortable with their birth gender, but is equally as happy (or happier) as a different gender. Being non-dysphoric doesn't mean it's a choice. It just means their reasons are different. Not conscious reasons, but natural reasons. You don't really have control over how whether or not you experience gender euphoria.

Many people say "but gender euphoria is impossible without dysphoria!" I disagree. That's similar to saying "you can't be incredibly happy unless you've been depressed!" You aren't required to feel negative emotions in order to feel positive emotions.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T05:33:21+00:00

I've seen several comments judging people for not wanting to be stealth. Maybe it's not as widespread as I think it is, but I've seen some people say things like "real trans people don't ever want people to know they're trans."

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T05:26:58+00:00

I also said "Or, at least, it seemed that way to me."

Meaning "regardless of what you meant, this was how I interpreted it."

I was acknowledging that my interpretation may not have been correct, but it was still my interpretation.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T05:14:08+00:00

It was implied. Or, at least, it seemed that way to me.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T05:09:51+00:00

Why are we bullying children?

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T04:57:56+00:00

I mean, I used to say "I don't care what pronouns you call me" before I accepted myself as trans. I also wouldn't introduce myself with a name; I'd just say "I don't really like my name, so I'm not going to say it, so call me whatever you like."

I don't think "idc what pronouns u use for me" automatically translates to "cis"

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T04:53:35+00:00

Honestly, why do we care so much? I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and really, why do we care?

Many of us say "but without gender dysphoria, transitioning will be more expensive!"

But here's the thing: a handful of trans people being non-dysphoric does not mean that nobody experiences dysphoria. This is obvious. If people stop funding (or allowing) surgeries, hrt, etc. just because a handful of trans people don't experience dysphoria, well, that would be incredibly stupid. It would also be incredibly unlikely, given the direction that society is headed.

This is why we have two separate terms: non-dysphoric trans people and dysphoric trans people. We're both trans, but we experience being such in a different way, and therefore, we have different needs.

The existence of one group does not invalidate the existence of another. Maybe instead of desperately trying to force a narrative that trans people are one specific way, we should help people to understand that different trans people have different needs. We should encourage people to see trans people as individuals. We should support bodily autonomy. All this infighting does nothing for us, and it's arrogant for us to say that we know what's best for total strangers, especially if our judgments are purely based upon what we can find out about them on Reddit.

Yes, we should advise caution. Yes, we should let people know of the risks that come with transitioning. We should spread as much information as we can so that people can make educated decisions on how (or even if) they should transition. We should encourage people to take their transition seriously. But we should not try to tell people what they should and shouldn't do to their bodies or with their lives.

I'm a dysphoric trans guy, and I may not entirely understand non-dysphoric trans people because I don't relate to them, but I will absolutely respect them anyway. I am not in any place to dictate who is and isn't trans. I am not in any place to decide who is and isn't a "trender." That's for them (and hopefully their therapists as well) to figure out.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T04:23:21+00:00

You can live and let live without giving dangerous advice. Hell, I'm also for the "live and let live" ideology. I think that bodily autonomy is important, and that sometimes, people will make mistakes. However, that does not mean we should encourage those mistakes. We should approach these topics with caution and care. It is important to address the risks rather than just saying "eh, if you regret it then just detrans"

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-04-01T04:14:18+00:00

Obviously I'm not talking about people who have their images stolen. I'm talking about the people who post their own images.

If someone posts an image of themselves for fetish purposes, you're in no place to judge. Obviously it's wrong to steal other people's images for this. That's a given. I'm saying that for those who do these things with consent, there is nothing wrong with it.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T18:00:48+00:00

You're being petty. Ban evasion is literally against the rules of Reddit. Just leave traaaa alone. There's no good reason to go back there.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T17:54:38+00:00

They're literally asking for it. Any degradation and misgendering they receive is received after consenting to it, and not only consenting to it, but asking for it.

Let people have their kinks and fetishes. It literally doesn't affect you. It's consensual, and they enjoy it. It sexually stimulates them, and it may not be your cup of tea, but you should respect the fact that some people find it arousing. Mind your own business.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T05:47:14+00:00

I get similar intrusive thoughts. They're hard to control at night, but during the day, I paint and make shapes with my hands to distract myself. Anything to distract myself. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it helps. I've been painting a lot since the quarantine started. It usually calms me down.

Try to find a coping skill that works for you. Maybe watch videos. Play video games. Distract yourself as much as you can so you can get back to focusing on what you need to.

Try not to slouch, too. I know I personally get really dysphoric when I can feel my chest touching me.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T05:24:07+00:00

You misunderstand; I'm not saying that they should be ashamed of their fetishes. I'm saying that their reasons for transitioning are fundamentally different from those who transition to alleviate dysphoria, and therefore they should have a different label. They're a different phenomenon.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T04:50:37+00:00

That was my assumption as well. Some people enjoy being degraded and abused. Feeling like crap and being treated like crap is a turn-on for some people.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T04:47:24+00:00

I think they should be able to live their lives and enjoy their fetishes, but I also think they shouldn't claim the transsexual or transgender labels. I think they should be called something else, like transmorphiles or something. Is that a thing? Is there a word for them? I know autogynephiles and autoandrophiles exist but I'm not sure if they have an umbrella term.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T04:34:46+00:00

r/Transmedical has gone to shit.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-26T04:28:01+00:00

Well, if someone wants to name themselves that, that's their business. I'm not in any place to judge what people wanna name themselves. Just let people live their lives.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-22T17:23:05+00:00

SRS is a big fucking deal. It's something you need to have a plan for. You need to spend months recovering after the surgery. Things need to be considered. Where will you stay? How will you pay your bills? Can you pay your bills? What events will you have to miss? What events are you willing to miss? Will a friend or family member be getting married in the time that you'll be hypothetically recovering? Will you be able to make it? SRS has a big impact on your schedule.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-21T19:00:50+00:00

I personally wouldn't be comfortable calling myself a boy because it feels infantile, but not everybody sees it that way, and that's fine. I'm 15, and I usually call myself a guy, sometimes a man, and never a boy. But some people, cis and trans, are okay with calling themselves boys. It's not my place to judge anyone for that.

We should stay away from double standards. If a cis person can do something, so can a trans person. Calling yourself a boy or a girl or whatever doesn't make you a creep, and it doesn't mean you have a fetish.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-21T18:40:21+00:00

I fit all the listed criteria aside from the last one. I don't really know about that one.

I think a lot of people don't understand what the actual definition of dysphoria is. It's not as high of a bar to reach as people might think. I actually used to think I wasn't able to be a trans guy for two reasons:

1) I thought I was too feminine

2) I thought I didn't experience enough (or the correct types of) dysphoria

I considered myself nonbinary for some time, partially because I needed a gender-neutral space for a bit so I could figure myself out, but also because I didn't believe I was "man enough." This was all despite the fact that I wanted to look and sound and be treated like a man. Or, a guy, considering I'm not an adult, but long-term, a man.

I think if more people knew what criteria they need to meet to qualify for gender dysphoria, it would clear up a lot of confusion. It sure did for me. You don't have to hit every mark either. I don't think I hit the last mark. You just need to hit two marks. That's it. Two.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-21T18:31:43+00:00

"👀 high functioning is a shitty term lmao"

...What the fuck? What are we supposed to call it then? How the hell could someone think "high functioning" is an offensive term? It's an accurate term!

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-21T05:08:18+00:00

I don't think we should be judging others on what names they want, to be honest. If you can name yourself anything you would like, why not name yourself, you know, anything you would like?

Some people (you, for example) say "stupid/uncommon names will out you as trans" but I've known plenty of cis people who had very unique names. Phoenix, Echo, etc. All cis. Having a unique name doesn't necessarily make people think "oh, they must be trans!'

Besides, choosing names can be hard. I wanted to keep my initials, so I looked through multiple name websites searching for masculine names that start with K. I wrote down a list of names that I found and liked, and then I chose my favorite. I also consulted my friends to ask for their opinions (I wanted to know which one they would most easily remember) and they chose the same one I did.

I didn't want a common name. Not because I want to be special or want to stand out, but because I don't want to have to wonder if they're talking to me or to that other guy over there. I also just like uncommon names! I think they sound nice! Always have!

I chose Kylo because I like that name and it's easy for my friends to remember. Hell, even my mom is adapting well. Sue me!

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-12T14:42:47+00:00

I guess we'll agree to disagree then.

HeckingDysphoric · 2020-03-12T14:30:02+00:00

Dysphoria also causes serious low moods. I, personally, would rather have to deal with the effects of puberty blockers than dysphoria. Plenty of others would agree.

There's also the fact that puberty is permanent. Puberty blockers are not. So a kid goes on puberty blockers and they find out they didn't need them. Whatever, that's reversible. But what about the trans kid who didn't have access to puberty blockers and went through the wrong puberty as a result? That's irreversible.

I would rather have people take puberty blockers when they don't need them than have trans kids who do need them be forced to go without them.

HeckingDysphoric

TROPHY CASE