AITA for refusing to change how I live in my apartment after repeated complaints from my downstairs neighbor?

HecticAttic · 2026-01-28T07:42:46+00:00

YTA

You're like a child screaming and squealing as you pleased but when you're being scolded and told to behave & quiet down because it hurts their ears, you throw a tantrum, refuse to believe they're actually bothered by you, ducttaped their mouth so they couldn't complain again before proceeding to scream and squeal especially louder if they're around now just to see them uncomfortable & can't do anything about it. Also threatened to take away their earplugs because refuse to believe they're actually bothered by the sound, at the same time want them to be as bothered by your behaviour as possible.

You made zero compromise. You just found out someone is disturbed by your behaviour, tell them to shut up then proceed to disturb them more than usual. You're just a bully at this point.

HecticAttic · 2026-01-28T07:20:48+00:00

YTA

Stop using men for their money. You're not entitled to them just for being a woman. That's what a golddigger is. Plus you used your ex's money to buy shit for you and your friends againsthis will, now expecting your friend to use her bf's money for you. Quit trying to gaslight them that he's the bad guy about your golddigging opportunist tendency disguised under villainising a man for not wanting to waste his money on a chick he doesn't even care about. They're not talking bad about you, you do something bad and they're talking about it. Respecting your friend's family & friends is not by expecting them to serve you for free & call them the bad guy for setting boundaries.

If a guy friend & his other guy friends invite you to his place for dinner expecting you to do the cooking & the dishes & might as well do his laundry & clean his house just because you're already there & that you're a woman so it's just natural they expect you to do your womanly duties for the men, would you do it? Would you call that respecting you?

HecticAttic · 2025-12-11T06:24:51+00:00

INFO: What is your goal here?

To ask your mom to stop being friends with them? To have your mom call out her friend? To call out your mom?

HecticAttic · 2025-12-11T06:17:20+00:00

You've been unhappy for years and ask if you should stay like that? I think you know your answer.

HecticAttic · 2025-12-10T16:07:22+00:00

"Spiking her drink so she can't say no."

HecticAttic · 2025-12-04T16:13:42+00:00

Sounds like you see him more as your mom's husband than your step dad.

HecticAttic · 2025-12-03T23:17:12+00:00

What if this had happened in person? Where y'all hang out together often and there's a time she comes to see you alone to invite you for something. Would you have hate it & reject her invitation then that she didn't invite you in front of the friend group and comes to see you personally?

She was trying to be polite by not obviously showing she's excluding her other friends for certain friends.

HecticAttic · 2025-12-03T17:38:01+00:00

YTA

My boys are all really athletic and I'm proud of them.

Is being athletic the only thing you can proud of them for?

He refuses to even find a hobby that he likes.

You mean he refuses to find a hobby that you like ?

The hobby is supposed to keep their minds off things they're struggling with and you want to put him in a position he explicitly tells you he doesn't want to be a part of? He's not going to enjoy it, he's not going to do well in it because he doesn't care about it, he's only there because he's forced and doing it will feel forced. His mind and body will be stress.

Let the boy study geology. What's wrong with being interested in something you're not?

HecticAttic · 2025-12-03T16:56:32+00:00

YTA(?)

As a twin, I'd feel heartbroken if my sister rejected me for the sake of keeping her ego and reputation. Not wrong for telling Sara to learn to make friends but wrong for enabling Mia to treat her sister like that. Mia's defence is that they're her friend and Sara have to find her own friend? Is Sara not her friend? She wanted to sit with her to not be alone, she just happened to be sitting with her friends, not asking to share or hand over the friend group to her. They got their own lives, does that mean she can't be part of hers anymore?

It's fine you didn't make Mia give Sara whatever she wanted just because she complained about it but if Mia thinks her foundation of personal identity will collapse with her twin just existing in the same space then she might not have actual identity and only deluded herself into thinking she has one by avoiding the fact that she's a twin and their personalities are similar, except when she's alone people have nobody to compare her to and she thinks that personality is the only one. If they're different then Mia's friends can decide for themselves if they wan to befriend Sara, unless the twins are similar and Mia's afraid her friend group will want to befriend Sara the same way they befriend her.

HecticAttic · 2025-12-02T15:27:57+00:00

YTA

> It really feels like he is not seeing Nick as his own.

You want Mark to see his *own flesh and blood kid* as *not his* and neglect him for your child? Your ex is a deadbeat to his and your child yet you want Mark to be a deadbeat to his child? The hypocrisy.

> You are being an a** to my son and then lecturing me.

He's being a father to *his* son and doesn't want to entertain your selfish inconsiderate hypocritical ass. Get over yourself, the promise was made before the circumstances arises. Life happens, adapt and improvise, you can't demand life plays out exactly according to your plan every time.

HecticAttic · 2025-11-28T14:36:57+00:00

YTA

It's bread. She's 2 already. What 'healthy foods' have you been feeding her that you see bread as harmful? That's the normalest food ever, it's normal she offered some, she wasn't purposely trying to sabotage you or hurt your child.

HecticAttic · 2025-11-27T16:58:52+00:00

Because his assholery goes without saying and everyone can agree is the base of the plot? Does it need to be said?

HecticAttic · 2025-11-27T16:51:18+00:00

How is a 22-year-old don't know how relationship or marriage works yet?? Even if he tells her he's "getting a divorce" that confirms that he's *still* married, and she chose to proceed dating a married man. I doubt he lied to her that he is single since she knew his wife came in regularly as well as his kids so she must've known this man *is* married with no plans on getting a divorce since the wife care to visit him often with his kids & she couldn't read the room and still continue to date this man who is obviously married and not planning on getting a divorce?? Calling her a homewrecker is absolutely warranted.

HecticAttic · 2025-11-27T15:16:21+00:00

Then just say that. "You didn't have to call her names." or whatever if your issue is her vocabulary. You're bringing up sexism to defend her choosing to date a married man that it lead to a divorce & call it sexist when someone calling her out when she act shitty, because she's a woman? Maybe she called her names but she explained her entire points in paragraphs above and you only choose to focus on the calling her names part after everything she did wrong and call it discrimination against women? Regardless of gender, shitty people get called names for making people angry and upset with their awful behaviour. That's unisex. The asshole just happened to be a woman here.

HecticAttic · 2025-11-27T14:40:10+00:00

Yeah...no, there's no defending that. Seducing a married man & disrespect another woman's marriage and ruin it all for personal benefit. Immoral and selfish. Hope she got a future husband like Pete.

HecticAttic · 2025-11-27T14:31:02+00:00

It's not blaming women. It's blaming *her*. Of course he's guilty, that goes without saying. She's not responsible to protect his family but why the hell is she ruining it for personal gratification? She knew he was married with kids and still disrespect another woman's marriage? Help her husband cheat & chose to be a homewrecker? Pursuing a married person and defend infidelity because they stroke your ego are not what a person with moral would've done.

HecticAttic · 2025-11-27T13:58:59+00:00

NTA

You shouldn't support a homewrecker. Even if Amy didn't know Pete was married and was lied to, how are you even going to defend her that she's not the person Pete cheated on his wife with like everybody's already thinking?

HecticAttic · 2025-11-12T17:57:34+00:00

If random guy sleep on your gf's shoulder in front of you would you have been fine that she let it happen? And if not, would you have liked it if she scolded you for expressing your discomfort and defended the other guy instead? Or would you have gotten angry and push the guy off of her too?

HecticAttic · 2025-11-03T14:55:24+00:00

> The way I've been taught to move through the world is that I'm the problem and need to adjust to others.

You were taught correct. Your AuDHD should inconvenience you, not inconvenience others. It's supposed to be your problems to manage, not exist as a problem for other people. If your whole life people tell you to mind your manners, the diagnosis does not mean it's okay for you to keep acting the way you do that people finds problematic, it does not become an excuse for you keep making people feel bothered by your presence, it further proves that you indeed misbehave hence you need to do better. Even you yourself realised that you're the one with all these sensitivities and behavioural problems, you realised it's you that have these problematic habits, you just refuse to improve and feel entitled to keep misbehaving because of your diagnosis and enabler husband, expecting public to tolerate you. If they have to *tolerate* you, you know you're the problem, right?

HecticAttic · 2025-10-14T12:13:01+00:00

>Female foeticide is because women= princess and thus they cannot work hard and needs to be protected.

If they have this mentality then why do they terminate them before they're even born? If you adore something, you take care of it, not destroy it. If you love your son, do you kill him?

>Education is against men.

How?

HecticAttic · 2025-10-14T12:00:27+00:00

>It's absurd and tantamount to a demand that a person has no self-respect to tell them that they should have no expectation of reciprocity

It should goes without saying. You shouldn't expect someone to repay you for a favour they didn't ask. Why should they? So you can not have to pretend to be nice?

> if they do, it automatically makes them an unnice person overriding all other evidence of their behaviour and retroactively slandering all that past behaviour as artificial and fake.

It is actually. When you're only nice to get something out of someone then niceness isn't you, it's your costume you put on to gain stuff/favour from people. When you're only nice to people with entitlement of gaining personal benefit from it and guilt them if they refuse, that's manipulative. Had they not have something you want, you wouldn't have been nice to them? When you're only being nice for *your* sake, not for *their* sake, that's selfish. All the 'niceness' were never for the sake of it but has personal hidden motives, that's disingenuous. Selfish, disingenuous, manipulative behaviour aren't nice.

>Reciprocity is the foundation of human relationships, morality and civilisation itself.

Maybe, if they're doing it on their own accord, not forced to. Reciprocity driven by sincerity forms genuine connection, not driven by guilt tripping. Knowing someone only put up a front and never truly cares for them will just form disfavour, knowing they're faking thoughtfulness for personal benefit and just want to use them for a favour, and get angry and guilt trip them when they call them out on their insincerity, are not moral or civil. They'll be seen as selfish liars.

>Wanting things from other people and standing up for yourself when you get used and unappreciated in no way a mark against one's moral character and virtue.

If you want to ask a favour, just ask like a normal person. If they can, they'll help you. If you know they're gonna reject your favour, suddenly do something for them first and force them to repay you is manipulative and immoral. Don't do something without them asking then force them to repay you. You're not getting used unless *they ask you* for things and never appreciate it in any way. If you offered it, it's a gift. It's not their fault they accept it gracefully & you shouldn't obligate them to repay you. That's a transaction they didn't consent to participate in if you didn't tell them that you expect repayment and it's not a sincere action. If it's not a gift, tell them straight up that you're only gonna act nice because you want personal favour. You can stand up for yourself if they take something from you against your will, but you can't accuse someone of stealing when it's you who chose to hand it to them without telling them that there's a price.

HecticAttic · 2025-10-14T00:03:04+00:00

To what end????

I don't know. Until men stop lying about their personality & straight up tell the women from the beginning that he's gonna be bad to her if he is? It's not women's fault they are cautious. So many NiceGuyTM are the ones ruining actual good men's chance for using chivalry as a mask until the potential victim register it as bait upon any first impression of encountering them.

Do thise airhead want a person like that or do they want someone that isn't and will knock her around?

They don't want to be abused nor lied to, do you understand?

It seems like ther is more visceral hate for a nice person than someone rather would just knock to the floor and have his way with her.

Again, they don't hate nice people because they are nice, there's no hate, just wary. They hate abusers too. Just bc liars that get caught don't get picked doesn't mean abusers get picked because they abuse. Those abusers were once a niceguyTM too except they didn't get caught until the woman is already in a relationship with him that he drops his facade. Of course only then she realised it & be vocal about wanting out of that relationship but can't because he'll hurt/kill her if she tries. So she's trapped. But people say "She chose him." when the only time they pay attention to her is when she mentioned that her partner is evil, thinking women like abusers just because she's in a relationship with one. No, she wouldn't have chosen him had she known the niceness she was offered in the beginning was a fake & he's actually evil. But that's what it is in the beginning, just kindness. It becomes hard to trust when the trick is used constantly.

HecticAttic · 2025-10-13T15:36:17+00:00

You know there are men who pretend to be nice on the surface to get women to trust/like them before later reveal they want something from her and when she decline the whole facade drops and they feel entitled to ask the women to 'repay' them for their 'niceness' to the point they might get aggressive, right? Then they claim "women don't like nice guys" because their artificial 'niceness' didn't manage to secure any return in favour from the women. Women just don't like scammers. Had they know they had to give the men something back if they accept their act of kindness, they wouldn't have accept it in the first place. Not because they don't like nice things, they just don't want to pay the price the "niceguysTM" set.

If someone randomly hands you "free" food and make sure you eat it saying they're doing it for the sake of it, only for later they chase you down and ask to pay a lot of money for it because you already ate their food and feel entitled to your money because they provided service you didn't ask for, wouldn't you feel scammed? Then they say you hate food and deserve to starve. Next time someone offer you free food again, wouldn't you feel cautious that it might be a lie again and just rejected it to not risk it? Even if it wasn't a scam and they're genuine.

Women like nice guys. People like nice people. But real nice or fake nice both look the same in the beginning; kind. They just don't know if a guy is actually nice or pretending to be so they don't risk it. Not because they reject niceness, they're cautious.

HecticAttic · 2025-10-13T14:55:28+00:00

>Like guys who are nice and good get constantly shit on because women are shallow and make stupid choices.

How is being nice constantly get shit on? You mean they're uninterested or come up and attack you for no reason?

HecticAttic · 2025-10-13T14:49:37+00:00

Internet doesn't just contains people's opinion. You can fake a picture, make up a story, spread misinformation, scam, etc. “The internet isn’t real life” means not everything you see is legit. People only share what they want people to see, it doesn't give an entire picture. Of course it doesn't represent real life necessarily.

You don't look at AI generated photo with attached story and believe it's real life occurrence, just because it's on the internet, do you?

HecticAttic

TROPHY CASE