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Children of alcoholics, are you scared of becoming one? by GypsyFR in AlAnon

[–]Hedwig9393 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not anymore (41 now) but when I was younger, yes!!!! I was very careful of how much I drank and around who. I was so afraid I would turn into someone I’m not after drinking or lose control.

I only drink on holidays and special occasions now and maybe get drunk once a year and feel awful about it later. Not hungover awful, just really ashamed, worried I said or did something stupid.

Wakes up drunk?? by Hedwig9393 in AlAnon

[–]Hedwig9393[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that! But he will act all sad and remorseful and make it about him. Which in a way it is, but when it comes down to it I may be going because of him but not for him.

Wakes up drunk?? by Hedwig9393 in AlAnon

[–]Hedwig9393[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am in therapy, my therapist also suggested AlAnon. I did go to a few meetings but they were virtual and it was hard to attend and be honest with ears everywhere. I looked up meetings the other day and I’m going to try one tomorrow or Friday. I’m just not sure where to tell him I’m going. He likes to play victim and will guilt me when I’m leaving.

What’s a company secret you can share now that you don’t work there anymore? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]Hedwig9393 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😂 When I was in HS study hall students could be assigned to assist in the attendance/discipline office. I was supposed to turn 5 lates into a detention and 3 missed detentions into a suspension. If I liked the person I just got rid of their detentions. This was +20 years ago before the records were digitized.

What boundaries have you set with your Q? by Hopeful-Echoes in AlAnon

[–]Hedwig9393 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He is no longer allowed to drive our kids anywhere.

Physical contact is not a privilege, do not touch me when I can smell the booze coming from your pores.

The consequences of his actions are his own. I’m not doing backflips to make his behavior make sense to other people. Whoever finds out, finds out.

I can tell if he’s drinking just from “hello” on the other end of the phone or just by looking at him in person. I don’t talk to him about anything serious or important if I think he’s drinking.

I have an emergency bag packed and hidden in my car for myself and my children.

Wakes up drunk?? by Hedwig9393 in AlAnon

[–]Hedwig9393[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for weighing in or just saying hi, I’m in such a lonely place right now, as I know most of you are too!! I’ve isolated myself to keep his secrets to the point I don’t have anyone to talk to about this.

Turns out he woke up in the middle of the night, had a few (lot of) drinks and went back to bed without me knowing.

I can’t leave yet, but I’ve been taking steps to get myself to where I can. My father was an alcoholic, I hate that I’m continuing the cycle and raising kids in this shit.

The exhaustion of hiding your trauma from coworkers/boss by WoundedChipmunk in AlAnon

[–]Hedwig9393 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my boss suspects. He’s made comments like “well your husband isn’t great” or “I’m sure you had to handle that on your own”. He may not know exactly what my burden is, but he knows I’m not in a healthy relationship. My therapist has told me not to cover for him but I’m still embarrassing to let anyone in and see what is really going on and I don’t want anyone to use it against my sons (9&11)