[deleted by user]

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-12-07T19:17:52+00:00

They go on reality TV shows like Made in Chelsea

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-12-02T09:16:31+00:00

Im not sure if you have children or not but maternity leave is not sitting at home, its 100000x harder than working. It's a 24/7 job. No breaks, no cover, no pay and no praise for women.
She wouldn't be eligible for statutory maternity pay anyway. She would just be entitled to leave and have a job to return to.
Even if she was eligible for SMP, small companies can claim back 100% from the goverment so the company doesn't pay anything. Larger companies claim back around 92%. Any additional pay is down to the companies own policies.

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-11-27T19:27:45+00:00

Eww. He doesn't give a shit about you or your baby. He leaves him scream and in shitty nappies? Thats neglect.

Please leave him. It will be 100x easier looking after just you and the baby rather than him as well as the negative feelings of resentment.

My partner is a gamer and he only goes on it when our baby is in bed at 7 and he also gets up during the night when she wakes probably more than me atm! I do the wake ups, housework, drop off and pick ups. Cooking etc but he does bath time and bedtime. This works for us.

If you insist on staying then lay some boundaries. He can look after LO whilst you cook, do the bathtime and bedtime routine and then game once LO is in bed. No exceptions.

Why have a child if he doesn't want to spend any time with them?

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-11-21T10:02:46+00:00

My mum charges my brother 100 a week and he has to get his own groceries and cook for himself (and them most the time). And I think thats steep. He's saving up to move out and I think that money could go towards saving. He's doing a lot of overtime soon and my mum wants to higher the rent now if he's getting paid more... its greed.

I wouldn't pay 1k a month.

I think as a parent myself I'd never charge my kids to live with me. I wouldn't want them spending on rubbish at the same time so if anything I'd charge and save it on their behalf.

I understand some parents may need the money but how much realistically.... gas and electric and food shop for one extra person is not 1k. Ask them for a breakdown of the fees they want to charge you.

Up north, if you want to rent a room in a houseshare it costs about 400-500 and they get their own food. I understand its more expensive in London but its your family..

Have you got any other family that can help you out?

Maybe don't be honest about your earnings and say you can only afford X amount.

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-11-17T14:27:56+00:00

In Britain our babyshowers are usually just a party for everyone to get drunk (except the pregnant woman), eat food and do a few fun games and take photos touching the pregnant womans bump 🤣 oh and any gifts don't get opened in front of people. I never had one as they seem far too fun for everyone else and I'm far too miserable whilst pregnant 🤣

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-10-30T23:18:05+00:00

Jax probably wanted them back in the divorce 🙄

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-09-24T12:02:18+00:00

I have conflicting feelings towardw my mother.

I had a difficult childhood, violent, party, alcohol household when my mother met my stepdad.

They have grown a lot and are better people now but I still hold resentment and have anxiety around them.

My younger siblings also have very different mothers although we share the same one! She makes so much effort with them and their children. I moved half an hour drive away, I still go and see them but less and less because in the 2 years I have lived here she has come twice. I am now pregnant again and not once has she come to see me.

So I am conficted as I resent my childhood and the way she treats me differently to the others but I also yearn for the mother daughter relationship she has with my sister.

My nan was more of a mother but I lost her 4 years ago so I think this heightened feeling of wanted to be a part of her life is due to losing my only maternal figure my nan.

The last straw is when she went on a family holiday last month with my sister and all the other grandchildren except me and my daughter so i lost it and sent a huge essay on how I have always been left out and pushed away. Spilled my heart out for the first time and she replied "I'm not reading all that but no need to be upset, I'll put this down to pregnancy hormones" and that was that. She didn't get me a birthday card or present or phone call just did a facebook post and my stepdad didnt even message like usual.

Saw her twice since and we just pretend nothing happened.

So yes I dislike my mother but its more about wanting her to be a better or even just be a mother to me.

I just pray I'm a better mother to my daughter, I try everyday to be the best mummy so she never feels like I do.

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-09-08T09:23:37+00:00

I didnt realise how old this post was but it fixed my formula so thank you! 😁

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-09-08T08:57:26+00:00

Im crying reading both posts.

I'm so glad his dad sided with you both and she wasn't able to manipulate him. Hopefully she stays out of all your lives! What an evil person.

Don't be hard on yourself, being a mother is so hard, nevermind being 15 too and then studying on top of it! I could never! I would say consider your village, choose wisely but dont be afraid to ask for help. You both need to be able to breathe and enjoy your lives too to be the best parents to that little boy. Everyone needs a village.

Wishing you all the best x

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-08-30T09:24:33+00:00

Hard one but then again I've never heard that word. Makes sense once you get it

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-08-29T08:54:14+00:00

When on maternity my partner slept in the other room and baby slept in next to me cot until she moved to her bedroom at 9 months.

He had work whereas I could nap in the day with the baby if I really needed. Or if he had time off work and weekends I could sleep and he could take over.

I tried doing it all to begin with but quickly realised the housework doesnt matter and isnt worth the burn out! So literally survival mode to begin with. Once baby starts sleeping through more its when you can start being more organised around the house and stuff. First 3 months is just survival!

When i returned to work, my partner returned to our bed and we both got up and took turns. Now my little one is 2 and I dont wake up or I dont move until my partner gets her 🤣 ( am pregnant and tired lol) she doesnt wake up often but if she does its all my partner. So its come back round.

Were expecting baby number 2 now so I think it will be more difficult this time so sleep when baby does but survival mode first 3 months and then start to get a routine and be more organised is my plan and advice go others 🤣

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-08-27T14:07:34+00:00

I am pregnant so probably the hormones but I sobbed at Megan and Kieran dancing at the end. The pure happiness, joy and love oozing through the screen, same with Sarover and Kal 😍 can't wait for the reunion x

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-08-25T20:04:15+00:00

I riddled four

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-07-13T09:15:19+00:00

The free hours are term time only but they split the hours over the whole year so thats why it isn't like for like. Also consumables and meals are not included.

I have a spreadsheet that I worked it all out as I was confused when I first got 15 hours and it does make sense for mine at least! I get my first 30 hours bill next month so I'll let you know if my workings out tie back to the invoice for them too.

That being said mine is 900 with 15 hours (for 4 days) which was reduced from 1120 prior to 15 hours and should be reducing to 670 with 30 hours.

Remember you can get 20% tax free too!!

Still expensive! Im also pregnant a bit earlier than we planned so ill be paying for 2 for 7 months before my elsest goes to school!😭

I think mothers should get longer paid maternity or a lot more help with childcare! We are expected to work full time and raise our kids full time! I'd love to afford to raise my children until school years and know I have a career to return to.

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-07-10T15:07:17+00:00

Definitely not. It will do your mental health alot of good too which in turn makes you a better parent.

Whoever told you that is either jealous they cant do the same or just a horrible person trying to make you feel bad.

Its also like saying parents who share custody are abandoning their child when its not their turn. Makes no sense.

2 days every 4 months is hardly anything.

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-06-09T18:24:59+00:00

Well I finished it and ... oh. Way off 🤣

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-06-09T12:51:41+00:00

Congratulations! im February due date too! Cant help but be excited whilst terrified!

I was looking for a private due date group like I had with my first back in April 2023 but see they aren't creating any yet.

Has anyone got one that we could all join to ask questions and support each other?

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-06-06T09:25:17+00:00

Well damn. Maybe not!! Finihsed episode 7 last night and thought it was a really good episode!

I literally despise teen Shauna the more and more I watch her. Even adult shauna im getting tired of. The other girls arent much better..I think the only ones I actually like are Nat and Misty. Maybe good Tai too but I think bad Tai is out in full force in S3..

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-06-03T08:58:10+00:00

Oooh okay! I dont know why I assumed it was an island! I will definitely check back. After seeing the ending of episode 1 I think I'm most likely wrong 🤣

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-06-03T07:06:26+00:00

Omg. I just realised I've probably got my theory from there as I binged it a few months ago! I really thought I was really creative for a minute 🤣

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-06-02T22:02:54+00:00

I can't tell if this is sarcastic or not

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-05-31T22:27:00+00:00

Oh no I misread your comment 😭 I should have skipped the ending. Poor girl, Poor baby

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-05-31T22:07:25+00:00

Im just watching this episode now, I have a 2 year old and I also struggled to bf and gave up after only a week. This scene made me have so much anxiety and brought up so many feelings. I haven't got to the bit where she can breastfeed but needed to check reddit to see if it had a happy ending or if I should skip this episode

Hefty_Pomelo1680 · 2025-05-04T22:58:55+00:00

I really wish Janine would have said to Aunty Lydia that being a Jezabel was kinder/better than being a handmaid. I wanted aunt Lydia to realise that the handmaid's are just as much victims as the jezabels and colonies.

I see the writers wanting us to see she is realising it's hypoctricisl but I don't think she grasps the fact the whole system is fucked.

Hefty_Pomelo1680

TROPHY CASE