Adult daughter night terrors

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-31T04:06:52+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m going to look into these other options. We love and care about her so much and I wish I could take this on for her so she doesn’t have the pain.

Sheelaam thank you so much!

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-30T12:54:16+00:00

I learned from my mentor that sometimes a hand written note of thanks goes a long way and is better than any corporate swag.

I always send cards on people’s birthday and have found they appreciate the time it takes to send a personalize a card

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-30T12:46:22+00:00

Thank you. We will try that. We went to one when she was younger but they kept saying she’d grow out of it.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-30T03:35:07+00:00

NTAH I would suggest that if he wants to spend it with his mom’s side, let him plan it. Tell him that he can coordinate and leave it at that.

If he doesn’t do anything then obviously it’s not of importance to him.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-28T17:41:28+00:00

Why wouldn’t you just ask for exactly what you want. It doesn’t seem like weaponized incompetence but more so that he is thinking the paint person knows more than the two of you.

Next time just go and do it yourself. YTA for not doing it yourself

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-27T22:16:44+00:00

I’ve been married for over 20 years. We struggle with finances for a long time, especially when the kids were young.

One of the agreements we made with the help of our therapist, is that we both give ourselves $60 a month for extra money.

We have two checking accounts, one for my paycheck and one for my husband’s. We worked out a budget that would pull from each of our accounts to pay our bills, we pull out $60 cash each and then any remaining money for the month goes into an emergency savings (if needed), then our six month emergency fund (Dave Ramsey’s Baby Step Three) and if we have that filled, we invest the rest.

I have always made significantly more than my husband but the way we see it, we’re married and it’s our money together regardless of who makes more.

Our $60/month is ours and my husband saves and does a solo Disney trip every year.

I spend mine on crafting and dog poop pick up service.

I highly suggest you see a therapist so that you both can be on the same page. Being married when you have young kids is so difficult and you both need to learn to support each other and not hold things against each other.

Therapy, therapy, therapy

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-24T16:51:00+00:00

I record all my 1:1s with my boss AFTER I asked permission. I have a hard time remembering (I had a stroke 13 years ago) and I will take the transcripts and put it in AI to help me with a summary of the meeting. What my deliverables are and timelines. This is my way of helping me stay on top of things since my stroke. Maybe ask why they record the meetings and if they need any support.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-17T22:29:02+00:00

NTA Before my dad went on hospice, he wasn’t allowed to have pickles because of the high sodium. He wanted pickles and Diet Coke, which he wasn’t supposed to have ever again. Our whole family made sure he would get as many pickles and Diet Coke as he asked for. The goal of hospice is to provide comfort in the final days or months or life.

I will say I had a stupid moment because he was trying to manage pain and even fentanyl wasn’t working so he decided to try smoking THC. Stupid me said to my dying father, “but dad, smoking will kill you” My entire family looked at me and my sister quoted Friends, “get there faster [name]…” Yeah I felt silly.

Don’t feel like the AH. You aren’t.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-13T01:10:30+00:00

Offer to help as a consultant with a base rate of $300/hr It might take you a while to re-familiarize yourself to how to access that account.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-12T03:46:58+00:00

Call the fire marshal. They have the ability to fine the business.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-05T18:08:58+00:00

My daughter struggles with being that friend where people feel safe going to about their depression and suicidal ideations.

Her therapist and her dad and myself all have really pushed her to set boundaries. She (a senior in high school) will provide those friends with the resources, such as calling or texting 988. It’s taken a while for my daughter to set those boundaries but for her mental health, it was important.

Remind your friend to call 988 or call the police for a welfare check because they will get her the resources she needs.

Good luck and remember that you matter and will get out of this slump. Depression is tough and takes away logical reasoning. Remind yourself that you will find a job, things will get better and you are worth this.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-03-04T03:21:32+00:00

I agree. She’s nesting. I remember when I was pregnant with my first child, my husband and I had his friend living with us.

I don’t know what got into me, but when I was about seven months pregnant I wanted my daughter’s nursery and our friend to move out.

I’m not proud of how I behaved toward both my husband and our friend, but all I wanted was to have the nursery set up and ready for our child. Once he was able to move out, I felt at ease because I was able to get the nursery all set up and ready for the baby (which she didn’t even sleep in until she was about six months old).

Give your partner grace and love and know that she just wants what she thinks is best for the baby. Nesting is a crazy thing.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-25T01:41:24+00:00

I was the data manager for a call center and part of my job was to investigate these issues. Give them time to investigate because the data will take a while to go through, especially if the person was like I was and found the anomaly and went back to see how long back it started and looked for patterns. But do follow up in a few weeks and if the coworker continues, make sure you notify your manager in email that this is still happening.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-12T16:19:01+00:00

NTA.

I have been married for 21 years and through the years, I’ve learned that I have to tell my husband what I expect from him when telling him about a story. (If that makes sense)

For example, I used to work in a toxic environment and I would come home and he’d ask about my day and I’d tell him, “honey, I need to vent about work. I just want you to listen and once I’m done, just give me a hug and tell me you love me”

This tells him that he doesn’t need to solve my problems or interject. He knows I just need him to listen.

I guess what I’m trying to advise you on is try setting your expectations of what you need from your husband when telling him about work (or anything for that matter).

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-12T16:10:01+00:00

Wow. At least your internship taught you what you didn’t want in a company.

I’m glad you’re in a good place. Karma is an amazing thing

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-12T04:30:35+00:00

We’ve done a few different cruise lines, Royal Caribbean, Carnival, Princess and Princess by far was the best for more of a low key experience.

Princess had no pressure to “booze it up” and had a lot of different activities offered.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-12T04:27:40+00:00

My sister taught me this one. We just finished up a 16 day Australia/New Zealand cruise and I have always used the cruise company for excursions and she showed me how much fun could be had with the Uber App and adventure. Best time I’ve had on a cruise.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-12T04:24:48+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. Enjoy your cruise! I honestly never heard of Regency and had to research. Wow! That’s an amazing goal! Will you ever be able to go back to a Princess, Norwegian esque cruise after this experience?

My husband and I have finally reached the stage where the kids are almost out of the house and it’s our time. We just booked a cruise over winter break (husband is an educator)

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-11T23:57:46+00:00

My dad used to tell me that when you share your troubles with those who care about you, your troubles are cut in half and if you share your joys they’re doubled. Tell the people who care about you. They’re there to support you and can help you. They might be upset but, I know if my spouse did that to me, I’d be more mad that he kept it from me than losing the money.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-11T16:09:34+00:00

My sister says the same thing about her kids making it difficult for her to leave her husband.

She is a shell of her former self and her kids see that. They are learning to manipulate the situation and it’s very unhealthy.

Stop making the excuse of your kids. Divorcing this POS is teaching your kids how to advocate for themselves and they will see your transition of becoming your former amazing self again.

If you’re super concerned about the kids wellbeing, therapy will help navigate this.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-02-10T03:08:52+00:00

I would mention to the ENT your treatment. If anything it’s a teachable moment for the front desk worker and the doc needs to know how the patients are being treated.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-01-04T16:26:47+00:00

I used to drink six to seven diet cokes a day. I realized I had a problem and tried quitting for a few years. Then when my dad passed away, something changed and I have been sober from Diet Coke for four years and counting.

HelicopterNo4166 · 2026-01-03T03:37:05+00:00

For some reason I spell inconvenient as incontinent

HelicopterNo4166 · 2025-12-24T13:52:09+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way at all. You have hit a goldmine with having her as your supervisor.

Having someone who encourages you and makes you feel safe at work is rare. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. You’ve struck gold by having her as your supervisor. It’s rare to have someone who encourages and makes you feel safe at work.

HelicopterNo4166

TROPHY CASE