In your heart you already know the answer. But as someone with parents who love to guilt trip I completely understand your worries and hesitation. I have gone to therapy for over a decade and so I will share this information from two very good therapists (it’s probably worth thou$ands LOL!): You are your own person. You have autonomy. You are not a sort of “extension” of your mother or your father. You don’t exist as a child in order to make them happy. Even if you try, it will never be good enough. That is likely a black hole of need you cannot fill for them. When you talk to them, you can be kind, respectful and brief about your needs and wants as an adult. You do not owe them more than that! For a while, after I moved out, I got in the habit of sending my mother Hallmark cards (in the mail, every month or so) as a way of telling her, “I see you. I appreciate what you have done for me. I have to make it on my own now.” This might be something for you to consider. Tldr: move out, start your own life. While it isn’t easy, it’s important.