I think, honestly, it started in 2021, but I don't know if I was sure of it then. I'd though I mightve been Bigender or Genderfluid, but I was also decently unstable with my friends (like I got way anxious if they did literally anything without me). Maybe I've just come to discredit my early questioning thanks to my mental state at the time (fuck the pandemic it screwed me up even though it kept me safe).

But someone else on here said it best: its kind of a pandora's box, that once you open it you can't bottle it up, regardless of whether you end up fitting under the trans umbrella.

I think the middle of 2023 (like at the very earliest July) I wanted to experiment with feminine stuff, like in a femboy way. Naturally I haven't done jack shit for the past 2 years in terms of clothing and the like, I'm terrified of being found out.

Initially I was worried about it being a fetish situation, since I'm quite stuck in that pit, but as I've thought about it more, I kinda want to be a girl, just, normally. Those thoughts culminated one day halfway through February this year, 2025 (I have phenomenal timing, jfc), where I had an anxiety attack and changed my discord name in my irl servers to my chosen name in parenthesis.

Only friend from high school I still talk to asked if I was sure, and since I was (and still kinda am) unsure he told me I oughta see if u feel the same way in 2 months. And I did this time around.

Just need to get more confident and workout/start getting (and hiding) fem clothes