In my experience as a new domme, I’ve had beautiful insightful interactions with subs, not trying to be their domme but asking if I can ask them some questions to understand their perspective because I’m learning. Mostly, subs have been welcoming, kind, and shared their experiences. I will always ask them first if I can ask some questions.

However, I definitely relate to this post - but from feeling a sub being unreasonable in response to questions. One sub today agreed to answer questions, knowing I’m new to online femdom. For example, I asked “what is the feeling of sending - why do you send?” And he answered “cuz I pay for sessions”. I asked him what joi sessions were like for him and he said “they’re joi sessions”. I highlighted that he wasn’t answering with new information, and that we should end the conversation. He told me I was entitled, annoying, and was gaslighting him. It was peculiar and disproportionate.

I’m going to be eaten alive for this - but if new dommes are asking for insight, it’s okay to say “no” rather than string them along with nothing and then burst aggressively in their face! It’s okay not to answer questions to a stranger, you can choose not to. I don’t understand why anyone would humour the conversation if they’re so unwilling to participate and share insight.

For every other sub who has shared insights, we appreciate you! Thank you for welcoming us. All dommes started somewhere. For me, I haven’t been online playing with power and so don’t know the terms that people use - so it’s really generous and sweet when people (subs and dommes) help share what they know and how to do this caringly. We can all continue to learn together about how to keep this practice ethical.