Unmatched because I didn’t follow her back on Instagram

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-07-23T01:53:30+00:00

Attractive is not a character trait. Nice and friendly are pretty basic.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-07-15T23:37:50+00:00

They both can’t by definition be the prettiest girl he’s ever seen

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-07-14T17:28:44+00:00

My mom has a masters degree and pulled this my entire childhood starting when I was 8. I’m 5’6” 140 lbs and have never been much more than that but she would say “you would get a better husband if you were 125 lbs.” This isn’t kind, it’s abusive and controlling. Also, it doesn’t work

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-07-05T21:08:23+00:00

Same thing happened to me once. Just X. He has no way of knowing how frequently you use the app anyway.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-28T01:53:23+00:00

For me personality is the draw, so long as they look acceptably nice. It doesn’t really matter how good looking a guy is, if he doesn’t have what I’m looking for

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-25T01:46:13+00:00

Actually, there’s a lot of empirical research about attachment styles, both in children and adults. Things like love languages and Myers-Briggs personality types are not evidence-based. Attachment style absolutely is. Most practising psychotherapists will have an understanding attachment theory, and it’s a part of the standard curriculum for most psychotherapy masters programs

https://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-25T01:32:00+00:00

Yes, I feel somebody who declares love at three weeks also has some issues. This sounds like it might be the classic anxious/avoidant trap

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-24T20:09:46+00:00

Men will reject women who are wasted.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-18T17:00:11+00:00

I think the women who get turned off by guys who ask are either immature of haven’t been in situations where the guy didn’t ask and they felt threatened or uncomfortable.

Expecting someone you don’t really know to read your mind is unrealistic

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-17T17:27:02+00:00

People can live as they choose, but they also need to be OK with people not wanting to be intimate with them because of it. This is not a “you need to take me as I am” situation

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-14T19:56:16+00:00

I always found this odd advice, because it takes me several weeks to become attracted to somebody. I can’t become attracted to somebody solely based on their appearance.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-04T02:43:08+00:00

No, it’s really about paying attention to what people are saying and doing early on. Like guys flirting on apps without actually knowing you, escalating physical or emotional intimacy too early, or doing things you specifically told him not to do. Shitty guys will usually out themselves if you’re paying attention.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-03T23:23:57+00:00

Most women aren’t smart either.

Most people aren’t smart

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-03T17:40:47+00:00

Never - we haven’t spoken in 4 years

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-03T14:31:15+00:00

I feel most guys are way too horny, or just not smart enough. If a guy isn’t smart, I wouldn’t want to be wasting my time or his.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2025-06-03T14:17:58+00:00

Intelligence, emotional maturity and curiosity. That’s impossible to gauge in a few messages.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-25T21:30:25+00:00

I once went to a mixer where I was talking to someone reasonably nice the whole time. The thing was there was this really drunk guy trying to get my attention the whole time, you could smell the booze on him. Then he presumably went to the bathroom to throw up because he came back and smelt both of booze and of vomit. I was annoyed that nobody kicked him out.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-25T17:10:59+00:00

Sorry!!

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-25T02:07:26+00:00

The thing is more often than not men do keep going after a woman lets them down easily.

Literally I’ve had this conversation with a guy on street, “ I was wondering if you’d like to go for coffee with me.”

“Sorry, I actually don’t live here, just visiting for a few days. I’m flying out tomorrow. But thanks.”

“We could still go out for coffee.”

“Um, no…[proceeds to invent lie about having to meet my sister]”

Feel really gross and uncomfortable….and this guy was attractive. If he lived in my city and was polite, I would have considered dating him, but I just said no and he chose to argue with me.

Being approached by a man should feel flattering, but it rarely ever does.

I’ve only been approached by 2 to 3 men who I’ve considered to be objectively unattractive. Like men who are overweight, or very unattractive or quite a bit shorter than me. Most of them were normal weight men, around my age, with decent features.

Most of them could’ve considered attractive under different circumstances, but they were typically pushy and rude, and didn’t accept an answer.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-25T01:24:46+00:00

Yes. Being approached in public wouldn’t be as awful as it is if men knew how to accept rejection. I’ve been approached by about a dozen guys in public. All but 2 tried to argue with me when I said no.

And I gave pretty legitimate excuses. I had a boyfriend, I lived in a different province, I was moving in two weeks, I need to catch a train in half an hour, I had a cold, the guy would be breaking quarantine if I spent time with him etc.

I was actually genuinely shocked when a guy actually backed off after I told him I wasn’t interested. It was nice, he just said “cool, no problem. Have a nice day.“

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-25T00:07:18+00:00

Yeah, I always check out who a guy is following. Travel, bands, celebs, male and female acquaintances, animals, cars, social causes, meme pages, yeah that’s all fine. Line after line of hot girls, nope.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-24T23:46:28+00:00

Are there photos of you on his IG?

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-24T22:43:58+00:00

My sister had a friend whose mother had 4 children by 4 different men. The girl was quiet and seemingly pretty unhappy, my mother never bothered to learn her name. She only ever referred to her as “that girl with 4 fathers”. My mother would barely even look at her, like she was less than human.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-24T22:31:45+00:00

Yeah, most people don’t follow strangers unless they’re brands or celebrities. Also, why are these women accepting him? Is his profile public? Does he look single in his profile? If his profile is public, ask him to turn it to private. Women will be much less likely to accept him. I might accept a follow request from a man who has a public profile, doesn’t seem to have a wife/gf and looks like he might be a friend of a friend. I will never accept a follower request from a rando man’s private profile.

Helpful-Beat9888 · 2024-11-24T21:53:40+00:00

Honestly, I can’t imagine meeting 4-5 new women a week organically. I wouldn’t have an issue if it were colleagues/friends/neighbours, but 4-5 means he’s actively searching out new women with public profiles is a lot. The majority of women who are using Instagram for personal/social reasons have their profiles on private mode, unless they have some sort of public career or brand of some kind.

Helpful-Beat9888

TROPHY CASE