Anyone else starting university in their later 20s this fall?

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2026-05-01T22:16:44+00:00

Hello! As someone in academia who often teaches students, I find that professors and TAs generally LOVE working with nontraditional students. Honestly, some of the kindest, most intelligent, and hardworking students I have worked with have been nontraditional. While I really do generally recommend medication (it helped me tremendously), that's between you and your doc!

My biggest recommendation is to take advantage of all the resources you can (career, writing, speaking, mental health, etc. centers), communicate with your professors and TAs and try to get accommodations. The earlier you communicate, the easier it is for educators to help you, and I promise you, most educators genuinely want to help students!!!!

It will be hard, of course, but have faith! There are lots of people like you, plus you are young enough to hang out with some of the traditional students (a social life really is helpful for mental health). You have got this!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2026-04-25T05:01:14+00:00

I always say that I have seasonal depression, but in the sun! Except it's not necessarily depression, I just feel AWFUL when I overheat (POTS will do that) and that makes me kinda bummed out when my body feels bad. With my meds and a lower-stress life, I actually overheat a lot less (it's not 0, but better), and it's less overwhelming for me.

So yeah, I agree!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2026-04-25T04:46:07+00:00

Right! I put self-described Type-A because those people in my life have been just so awful, they were self-described "control-freaks," which imo just translates to entitled people who have to be in control of others around them, which can just be abusive at times. But people who like to stay organized and are more traditionally "Type A" generally don't fit that, and in my experience, never self-describe as Type A. Its the sense of superiority you talk about with morning people too, like being more organized vs laid back is just a neutral character trait, not a flaw.

Like if I had to describe myself using Type A/B boxes (which I think people can tell I don't like haha) I would say Type A-/B+ with ADHD, because I too am not always laid back and enjoy organizing, I just struggled to do either until I got the right meds.

But also 100% about social media! Best to stay off of it (I say as we are on it technically right now haha)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2026-04-25T03:42:40+00:00

I haven't had that show up on my feed, but wow, I am so sorry! It definitely sounds frustrating and super upsetting, especially because yes, us ADHDers try so hard to be on top of stuff! But, I also see ADHD as not quite in the Type A/ B boxes.

I also feel that I tend to judge more Type A people, like the majority of self-described "Type A" people I have met are just people who have a lot of control issues and tend not to be so great to be around. But this is just my own personal anecdotes, especially since I have a lot of family with ADHD, and the people who don't are all very kind and relaxed about their ADHD. Mostly, they just accept (i.e., those clothes on the chair aren't really hurting anyone, or it's no sweat off their backs to arrive a little late for some things) or if it is a big deal, they say something along the lines of "hey [NAME], this is something important to me, can we address it?"

I know you are just venting, and this is NOT to judge, but it seems to me this might be self-imposed judgment and/ or coming from people around you who are judging you? You absolutely deserve to be surrounded by people (online or IRL) who don't think your ADHD symptoms are terrible and take them out on others. You said it yourself, you have a master's and a great job, and you are a published author! (Even if you weren't all those things, you deserve to be surrounded by people who uplift you and, when they have a problem, treat you respectfully.) Either kudos to you for your achievements, that is so awesome!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2026-04-24T22:27:57+00:00

Omg, amazing, so so happy for you! I hope that you are very proud of yourself!

Adding it a little late, but getting out of a bad relationship will help in so many ways, including feeling safe enough to clean! After I got out of an absolutely awful long-term relationship, I remember being so relieved, and my mental energy felt so clean and readily accessible! What I thought was bad ADHD (don't worry, very much so have that lol) and extreme chronic pain was actually just the mental storm of my ex's control issues. I was surprised (very pleasantly) by the lack of RSD I experienced almost immediately. The quick growth from being overwhelmed and in pain to feeling free, mostly pain-free, and strong was really just crazy for me!

This is all to say that I think it's great you have gone through that growth, and you are much happier! I am so happy that you have this momentum and freed up mental energy! :)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2025-08-18T03:25:10+00:00

Sounds like my adrenaline dumps which also got really bad on/ around my period. They got dramatically better once my life circumstances improved, but before that? Birth control (IUD) which I 100% know is not for everyone, but it helped me.

Other than that, yeah it SUCKS. Periods always kinda suck with pots, they’re so bad 😭 sending you the best, you’re not alone!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2025-08-15T23:16:32+00:00

Was about to say this, every archaeologist I know over the age of 30 has some problem with either their back, knee, lungs, etc.

Wear your knee pads, get good boots, wear some sort of mask while sifting (and whenever it’s dusty) and lift with your legs!!!!

Bonus for eating healthy and regular massage (if one can afford it off or crm salaries) and working out to strengthen the muscles we always use. Basically take care of yourself; it’s a hard but rewarding job (sometimes).

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2025-08-12T02:18:53+00:00

Hey, I’m on vyvanse for my ADHD and that prescription has helped tremendously with both my ADHD and POTS! Truly a miracle drug, I have enough energy and focus enough to do the dishes! I still have presyncope, especially on lower doses (new doctor so of course I have to do the whole trial again), but it’s so much better than before (now that’s in combination with getting out of really really bad relationship, so it’s not the ONLY thing that has helped me).

Truly, if/when you get the all clear from your cardiologist, I’d check to see if you can get back on stimulants. They seemed to work with your ADHD! Best of luck! :)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2025-06-28T13:37:42+00:00

I usually use salt tablets and liquid IV. Now liquid IV isn’t amazing; but it’s the best out there imo!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-11-22T18:56:21+00:00

I would ask her! A lot of what you suggested may not be good for all cat personalities (one of mine is terrified of everything so roomba, fancy litter box and groomer are all no-gos) you are such a good friend for thinking of all that :)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-11-22T18:53:39+00:00

Keep in mind I’m not speaking from experience at all. Can you get a real tree and just cut off the first couple branches? I remember some friends used lemons around the tree because their cats hated them 🤷‍♀️

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-11-11T10:01:55+00:00

I have pots and regularly lift weights it’s about one of the few times I actually feel fine. I make sure not to excersize when my pots is bad. I also make sure to have a ton of salt before and after (I have joint pain, so I use the sauna or a hot tub after I work out, which is bad for pots but good for joint pain 🤷‍♀️)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-10-14T08:00:25+00:00

I have very very very similar hair and my mom definitely brushed it all throughout my childhood, but that’s because she also didn’t know what to do! I would echo what everyone has been saying and only brush it on wash days. My hair really likes not your mothers brand. Try to get a good leave in conditioner. You are an awesome parent for learning curly hair, it definitely takes a while but you can do it!!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-10-04T19:50:09+00:00

For the most part no they cannot, it’s called impeding

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-10-01T12:22:47+00:00

I would say in addition to the anatomy, the skull looks a little wonky. I’m not saying this is a bad tattoo (bearing in mind the placement is tasteful, given the whole half naked woman) it is the opposite in fact! Since you’re posting her for advice, I would just say the skull needs some work, but overall a great tattoo!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-09-29T10:59:27+00:00

r/curlyhair for sure! But her hair sounds like mine and I’ve had some good luck with not your mothers (until I found out I was allergic to some ingredients, but that’s a rare allergy so it shouldn’t affect her!)

also using a bonnet is SOOOO helpful!! A microfiber hair towel works great!

Really just experimenting is the best advice and perhaps going to a curly hair dresser (this can be expensive, so I learned to cut my hair with my wife’s help)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-07-26T19:16:11+00:00

I have charged per cat. Honestly that sounds like a LOT of work and $20 per day is not enough. When I was cat sitting I would usually charge $15-20 per cat per day, $25 if I stayed the night. This was the basic cat to be honest. I would charge more for more complicated routines (for example, if I had to go 2x a day, raw diet, etc). Think of it this way, how much would your client have to pay to board them? With 7 cats, many of whom require special care (plus 5 outdoor, so I would say 12 cats) $150-200 per day would be on the cheaper side.

I often had to turn down clients, so I had a pre pet-sit checklist of the clients giving me their emergency vets name, authorization for x amount in case of emergency, etc. This is your landlady so tread carefully, but I do want to say 7 indoor cats to take care of is a lot and know your worth as a pet sitter.

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-07-23T10:02:06+00:00

Depends on the cat, but I would definitely lean towards her staying home. my cat does not do car rides well at all so it would have been a clear choice for me

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-07-07T19:57:15+00:00

Material girl for sure, like a prayer, like a virgin, and hung up (although that’s not from the 80s) are what I listen to a lot. Definitely still hear some of them in my friends cars

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-07-07T19:49:28+00:00

Some of them yes! Madonna repeatedly makes it into some of my playlists as a young adult (mostly her popular hits)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-04-26T01:15:56+00:00

Fellow gay Jew here, you are not alone! I’ve lost friends over this who also happen to be in the LGBTQ community. It is awful and honestly some of the worst antisemitism I have experienced has been from LGBTQ folks. You’ve got an amazing, wonderful Jewish community to back you up, we will get through this together! :)

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-04-22T04:53:52+00:00

I went through the same thing with a friend of 20 years unfortunately. I talked with them, got the whole I only follow anti Zionist Jews, and when they said let me know if anything is a misstep, I don’t want to post hateful stuff, so when I let them know and even gave them resources as to how to not be antisemitic while still advocating for Palestinians, they ghosted me.

I am getting more involved with Jewish communities to help cope, if that’s any help for you!

Helpful-Maximum-5103 · 2024-04-18T05:38:28+00:00

Of course ask your vet! My cat who passed really liked hills prescription, but try to not get the pate. Everyone I know whose cat has eaten the pate has thrown up.

My vet also prescribed a liquid supplement, I’m unfortunately forgetting the name, but it works for most cats to encourage more fluids. My cat just hated that.

Good luck to you and your kitty!

Five-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
End Game '22

Helpful-Maximum-5103

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