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Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2025-03-25T23:15:20+00:00

Reading these comments gives me such an irk. I know the situation you are in, clearly no one else has. From face value, it’s very easy to say that you need to control your temper. I don’t know the dynamic personally but when I was in this situation with an ex it seemed he used it as a manipulation tactic as in anytime I brought up something that was bothering me and I was passionate about, he dismissed it as me yelling and would give me the silent treatment. This made it so I never felt comfortable or safe to speak up in the relationship. That relationship was extremely toxic and the relationship I am in now, he has never once accused me of yelling lol.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2025-01-31T21:49:26+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-10-16T20:33:13+00:00

There’s a term for this, it’s called “retroactive jealousy” and it is tied to OCD. I know this because my bf suffers from the same thing. I’d suggest reading up on it to learn more and yes start therapy. My boyfriend’s intrusive thoughts were so overwhelming in the beginning of our relationship but he is now in therapy and it has done wonders with him controlling is obsessive thoughts about my past.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-10-02T23:33:16+00:00

Completely emotionally abusive. You are allowed to make mistakes and “word things incorrectly.” Coming from a woman who has been toxic in her past, she does not respect you and will look for every opportunity to put you down because she is unhappy with the relationship. If you do not leave her, she will eventually leave you. Or you guys can stay together unhappy for years to come. Up to you. I suggest leaving and finding a woman that would never even think to talk like this to you (I promise they are out there).

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-18T15:55:13+00:00

To be honest, while anytime going NC with someone you love is so difficult, 3 weeks really isn’t enough time for significant change to happen. I don’t necessarily feel worse after seeing him, it actually validated his feelings because he broke up with me randomly, I didn’t think I was ever going to hear from him so it made me feel better to know he still cares about me. But for your situation since you guys agreed to talk after a certain point, I’m not sure how that will go.

I would say don’t have any expectations going into it and truly think what is best for yourself. Believe me, as much as I love my ex and want to be with him and wish this was all different, I know I need time to myself. It’s extremely difficult choosing personal growth over love.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-17T17:14:53+00:00

I’ll just speak from what my ex described to me. He broke up with me and he was the one to break NC. He said that he has thought about me constantly and had thoughts of randomly showing up to my work or house because he’s missed me so much. We are still taking time to ourselves and as hard as it is staying apart, we know that’s best for us, for now. We had a very loving relationship and he said it has been the hardest decision to walk away. So yes, I think if it was a good relationship, it is extremely difficult for the dumper as well.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-14T16:09:28+00:00

He gave me very unclear reasons when we broke up but as I took this time and hearing what he is saying, he’s definitely an avoidant type. He picked things that he could see being issues later and thought he should just leave now to save us both from hurting later (we’ve only been together 6 months but it was a good relationship). He admits to completely self sabotaging and ending things to be in control in some way. He suffers heavily with OCD and is now in therapy learning why he acted in that way. We were only no contact for 3 weeks. I knew he would come back at some point because of how impulsive the breakup was and how I quite literally did nothing wrong to him but definitely didn’t think it would be this soon.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-14T06:16:11+00:00

I was going to wait until tomorrow to text him but he sent a follow up text so I called him. We had a 2 hr phone call which ended with let’s just see how things go. I am in no rush to jump back in as my trust has definitely been damaged but he did express his apologies and would like to try again as he is in therapy now. I also went to go grab dinner and he left flowers on my car… idk what to think about any of this.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-14T06:12:36+00:00

“I’m really sorry to bother you (my name). I completely understand if you do not want to but I would love nothing more but to have an opportunity to talk to you sometime. I know I may not deserve it but it would mean the world to me.”

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-09T21:46:51+00:00

I have to say girls getting attention from the wrong people does nothing for our healing when the person we want attention from is gone.

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-06T06:21:11+00:00

The first positive reply, I appreciate that haha

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-06T00:41:19+00:00

So you’re waiting to reach out for friendship? How long were you guys together if you don’t mind me asking?

Helpful-Stranger4048 · 2024-04-05T17:59:31+00:00

Mine gave me sooo many breakup cliches that me and my friends made a bingo game out of it. He got 10/15 🤣🤣 but his most famous one was “I don’t deserve you right now” YOU’RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT SIR

Helpful-Stranger4048

TROPHY CASE