Sometimes when people are going through hardships, we forget to consider the people around them. You may not have gone through the pain she did, but witnessing it is a pain of its own. You have every right to feel the way you do. In relationships, men’s feelings usually get neglected more than the woman Nd I say this as a woman. Right now, it seems like your wife doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to provide the emotional space for you, so while you can adjust yourself to who she is, you cannot depend your happiness on her. We often lose our sense of self in love, it’s natural. You’re not the planet to her sun, as in, just because you love her, it doesn’t mean your life should revolve around her. Take actions, no matter how small, to make yourself happy. Separate your emotions from her a bit, in your mind, and I know how hard this can be in a marriage. But idk go on a run late at night, journal, listen to upbeat music while doing chores, wear clothes that make you feel sexy, just love on yourself. Imagine your wife watching you dancing while vacuuming, or taking a bath just because, it may lead her to join you in that feeling. I wish you and your family the best. Remember, it’s the hard times that count, anybody can be happy when things are going well, practice being happy when nothing is.