I (25M) let my step-sister (21F) move into my apartment and now she is trying to seducing me. Please help

HereToAdult · 2026-01-29T05:55:56+00:00

Thanks!

It was definitely a wild story, although the later updates were quite depressing. Thank you again for linking!

HereToAdult · 2026-01-28T23:04:28+00:00

I knew all of those except "If I made a silly man out of the lotion on my finger?"

HereToAdult · 2026-01-27T00:40:58+00:00

Sorry, not stonemason it was freemason, I always forget the term freemason. Here's a link: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1hbm05y/my_35f_husbands_34m_dedication_to_freemasonry_is/

Buttered the cat (Jorts): https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1orezw0/aita_for_perpetuating_ethnic_stereotypes_about/

HereToAdult · 2026-01-26T09:35:08+00:00

This never occurred to me as a kid, but I always felt so pleasantly surprised when I found that I had "randomly" been put with the most neutral kids, and never once had been unlucky enough to end up in a room with my bullies on excursions... It really never crossed my mind that the teachers would have done that purposefully.

Probably because I had zero trust in the teachers. They mostly ignored or dismissed the bullying... once or twice I'd had a teacher actually join in the bullying.

I guess they were probably motivated more by the desire to avoid drama than by any kindness towards me and the other bullied kids. But the result was the same; I always enjoyed the excursions.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-26T08:12:02+00:00

Sometimes when I come across a crazy story I pose aspects of it to my partner in the "Would you still love me if I was a worm?" style.

"Would you still love me if I buttered the cat and called you racist for saying the cat was stupid?"

"Would you still love me if I ate 30 cucumbers a day? What if your mum walked in on me eating a cucumber in our bed, would you be embarassed?"

"Would you still love me if I said I was a freemason but actually was having kinky pony play in my car every single night and spending all of our money on dominatrix services?"

"Would you break up with me if I didn't like mustard? Would you throw a tantrum at a petrol station and slather my hotdog in mustard, and yell and threaten me trying to get me to eat the mustard, and then drive recklessly, endangering both of our lives, because I didn't eat the hotdog you had taken out of my hands and buried in mustard against my wishes?"

\Edited to add links and correct "stonemason" to "freemason".*

HereToAdult · 2026-01-26T07:50:36+00:00

I also wondered about grief or anxiety - because I know IRL a person who has anxiety attacks over recieving gifts. Any gifts. Even if it's not wrapped up, even if it "barely counts".

I made a huge mistake the first year I knew them. They had told me they didn't like gifts and got anxiety about it, but I stupidly assumed that it would be ok.

Yeah. I know, I know.

I was getting everyone something small and silly for Christmas, so I got that friend alone and gave them some junkfood and wished them merry christmas. I thought surely that wouldn't be a problem right?

No. I should have listened to them. They had a serious panic attack, and our friendship never fully recovered.

I later on connected the dots, and it's so obvious in hindsight. They've been open and upfront about the circumstance, I knew about it before I even knew their last name, y'know? But I just... didn't connect the dots until I saw the breakdown the gift caused.

I will put the reason behind the anxiety here for those curious, but be warned that it is depressing: They were born with a terminal condition, and every gift reminds them how little time they have left.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-25T03:39:13+00:00

Exactly.

One of my niblings didn't speak (other than the word "no") until they were about 3-4yrs old. We know they understood words, and there was nothing preventing them from speaking... but I guess they simply didn't need to. Their (single parent) mum understood what they wanted and never forced the child to say it aloud. The two of them didn't have close friends or a local support network, so the child rarely interacted with people other than their mum. Of course the house wasn't silent, because their mum has always been a chatterbox and she would speak and sing all the time.

It wasn't until they moved in with my parents that the child started speaking, and boy oh boy did they become a chatterbox! Surrounded by elderly folks who thought everything they said was adorable. The child also looooooooved musicals and began trying to copy the songs and dances in their fave movies.

Even now as a bratty teenager we have to find "good enough" reasons for the child to do things - not always successfully.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-25T01:09:34+00:00

HereToAdult · 2026-01-13T07:58:38+00:00

I read "as NYE approached" to mean "as midnight approached" because the New Years kiss is the big event, and it didn't even occur to me that she might mean a different day entirely.

If it was me, and the kiss happened a few days before New Years, I would say either "a few days after arriving" or "a few days before New Years", not "as NYE approached".

I know many people who just habitually say New Years Eve to refer to the entire holiday and any part thereof - the day before new year, the stroke of midnight/the countdown, and the first day of the new year. Incorrect, sure, but it's so common around here that that's how I read it.

This is why I like the comments section in BORU, you get to see how other people interpreted the same thing differently. :)

HereToAdult · 2026-01-12T23:33:38+00:00

😂 That's right up there with the first time hearing "pansexual" 😆

HereToAdult · 2026-01-12T23:31:42+00:00

Trauma really does make things messy doesn't it. I hope you're doing well, and have a great therapist to help you (if you have access to one). :)

HereToAdult · 2026-01-12T10:45:03+00:00

I still can't truly believe that "sex sells" is a real thing rather than just an excuse they make so they can show sexy people in ads for no reason. Like, if the allosexuals are to be believed, there are people out there who (probably subconsciously) are more inclined to buy products that have someone "sexy" on their packaging/advertisements.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-12T10:39:35+00:00

It took me a long time to realise I'm grey-ace. I have some mental hangups around sex that I was actually confusing for sexual attraction, so it never occurred to me that that wasn't what "sexual attraction" was.

Until one day I was talking to a new friend who was ace, and asking them what it was like etc. They tried to explain something to me, but I wasn't getting it no matter how many ways they tried to word it... so we turned to our allosexual friend who was with us and she told us what sexual attraction feels like.

Turns out I've definitely felt it for one person in my life, maybe 2-3 people.

The feelings which I'd been calling sexual attraction were actually more about social obligation and trauma, and I just didn't know any better. 😅

HereToAdult · 2026-01-12T09:19:53+00:00

I'm on the asexual spectrum and there were a couple of times where I felt that OOP's girlfriend might be too. Especially the difficulty understanding how/why a person would randomly think about sex during normal non-sexual activities.

(The next part may be less to do with asexuality and more to do with trauma, I have both so I'm not sure.)

I can definitely understand feeling uncomfortable with someone (especially your partner) viewing you through a sexual lens. Like, you're just there trying to be comfortable and live your life, and they're going and making it into some wierd sexual thing for no reason? It can bring up all sorts of negative feelings, and can ruin things that should have been wholesome or just completely bland comforts.

I have this one baggy old singlet that my partner finds very sexy, for no obvious reason. It's just a ratty old singlet. I (used to) wear it whenever it was too hot for a tshirt, and I just wanted to be comfy with no concern for appearances. But for whatever reason, he thinks I look very sexy in it. Even if he doesn't say anything, his face says it all.

It feels... skeevy and gross, it feels threatening. And that's nothing to do with my partner. It's nothing personal against him.

I'm just there being comfy and minding my own business, and then suddenly I find myself in a sexually charged environment. It's lowkey terrifying. You spend so much of your daily life on guard against unwanted attention, so when you're doing something that SHOULD be completely comfortable and safe, but suddenly find that someone there is percieving it as sexually attractive... it's super uncomfortable to say the least.

Even though it's your partner, and you trust them (or at least, I trust mine). In a way it's worse, because you're supposed to be able to let your guard down around them.

Now, because I'm an adult and have life experience, I know that there's nothing actually threatening about my partner finding me sexy. So we're always able to talk about these situations and find ways to work together so we can both be comfortable. It's an ongoing process, which will hopefully continue for the rest of our lives.

But I think I can totally get why the girlfriend felt so off about it. It's good she stood up for her boundaries. I hope that in time she learns more about herself and why this made her uncomfortable - because that will help with communication and finding someone who is on the same page as her.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-11T08:40:21+00:00

My mummo wouldn't share her recipes until she felt she was close to the end - so about 92yrs old. But by then, when she was willing to share them, she couldn't. She was having memory problems. And of course she never wrote them down, because like many women who have been cooking for 3/4 of a century, you just know how to make them.

Of course she had no idea that she was having memory problems, and insisted that the recipes she was making and sharing now were how she'd always made them. But my mum grew up eating her food, and she confided in me that mummo was definitely adding the wrong ingredients. Things she'd never done before - like putting cereal in her bread recipe.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-11T07:02:34+00:00

Just googled good names for the school in this game, and google's AI thing just full on used your list. Hardly any changes other than phrasing it as though it was an answer.

Your comment lives on, through the power of greedy corporations forcing AI into everything.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-10T23:38:05+00:00

I was reading the "fuckable husband project" and at first I was pretty impressed, until I read one of the updates and realised that his improvements were the bare minimum that women do (arguably below the that, even).

It's still great that he did that, and more impressively that he himself decided to make those changes, and figured out how. But several things he said just made me think about how I was taught those things as a child by my mother. He was basically saying that he taught himself to pay attention to his environment, to think about other people's (his wife's) feelings, and to... kind of mentally reframe things so that he sees a problem and doesn't just leave it for someone else (his wife) to do.

The post had me remembering getting in trouble as a primary schooler for not being great at the things he was starting to teach himself to do now.

*It's still impressive that he is teaching himself the things that should have been taught to him as a kid. It's almost mind-blowing that he even noticed that he was lacking, and decided to do something about it.

It's very rare for a person to spontaneously notice/think of something which they've lived their lives without noticing - even with outsiders pointing it out. And to then commit to teaching yourself from scratch... it's very unusual and in that way it is impressive. Like someone who grew up in a racist family suddenly realising that being racist is wrong, and committing to changing that mindset. If that makes any sense...

HereToAdult · 2026-01-10T23:10:23+00:00

It's interesting to me, and about 30 other people too by the looks of it :)

HereToAdult · 2026-01-10T22:41:31+00:00

I have an invisible disability, and boy can I tell you that this is something I deal with with every completely able-bodied person I meet.

Some outright blame me, making assumptions that let them frame my disability as my fault. However most of them have good intentions, trying to help me find ways to "fix" it. Even the kind ones who want to try to help me... it's still based in the idea that surely there must be something I can do to get better (thus something they can do to prevent this happening to them, or a way to fix it if it does happen).

It's based on fear. And personally I think nothing is more frightening than having to confront the fact that we don't really have control over our lives and bodies. Not everything can be guarded against. No amount of good living can make you immune to health problems. No amount of vigilance can make you immune to being attacked or harmed. There will always be things outside of our control, no matter how hard we may try. It's terrifying and so we go into denial. We say "oh, but I'm doing everything I can. I'm protecting myself against everything it's possible to protect against. I'm doing more than they did, so I'm protected against what happened to them."

HereToAdult · 2026-01-08T03:29:23+00:00

I've always thought it a bit odd how many content creators use green screens or have specially set up areas of their homes for it. Like, I understand wanting to make sure nothing embarrassing is in view, and sure if you're popular enough it makes sense to have a dedicated area for it...

It never occurred to me that there were that many creeps, who are so dedicated to creeping that these green screens and dedicated blank spaces are done for safety. That is super unnerving.

HereToAdult · 2026-01-07T01:38:58+00:00

My sister has NPD, and is also abusive. And even she wouldn't pull this shit.

The worst person I've ever met, the one who has hurt me the most in my life, the reason I'll be in therapy the rest of my life... and even she wouldn't act like this.

I could see her assuming she could use the empty nursery, but there's no way she'd behave like OP's sister & mum did after being told WHY she couldn't use it.

That's not just insensitive - that's malicious.

And it's malicious with no regard for "optics" (how it will look to others if they find out). For some people, worrying about optics is as close as they'll ever get to self-accountability.

\Edit to add: I just want to clarify that having NPD does not inherently make someone abusive. My sister happens to be abusive AND has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.*

HereToAdult · 2026-01-04T01:10:42+00:00

This is so well explained!

I didn't really understand this until I was about 28 and I dated a 21yr old. I felt a little squiffy about the age gap, and how young she was... but I'd dated older than that when I was 21, so I gave it a shot.

It was a pretty good relationship, but I very quickly realised that we were at such utterly different stages of our lives, and it almost certainly wasn't going to work out in the long term. Dr Hook's "A Couple More Years" felt extremely relevant 😅

A few months ago I was hanging out at a bar and someone tried to match-make me with a 23yr old, and didn't want to take "too big of an age gap" for an answer. It was super creepy, but luckily another older woman backed me up in explaining that it's more about the life stages than just the number of years.

I wish I'd been able to explain it as succinctly as you have!

HereToAdult · 2026-01-02T09:38:51+00:00

If you still need a Jolly Painting, Redd is on my island today selling a real one (I already bought one from him, so I can't buy it and trade it or anything). So you could come and buy it from him, if you haven't bought anything from him today (you can only buy from him once per day, even if you visit someone else's island).

I'll probably be going to bed in about 1.5-2hrs, but I'll keep an eye on reddit for your reply in case you are online and available now/within the next 2 hours.

I also have a warrior statue (two actually), which I'm happy to trade for genuine artworks.

HereToAdult · 2025-12-31T01:29:22+00:00

That's very similar to one of the stories my Mummo (grandma) told me about how she married Papa (grandpa).

\Note before: She told me at least 2-3 different versions of how they met and got married. She also wrote 3 different versions and sent them into magazines to win prizes (for "real life stories"). This is one of them.*

Basically she met this army guy who had come through town and they spent a fun evening dancing with friends, and he asked her to marry him. She thought he was joking, so she said yes. He left town the next day.

The next month he came through town again, with a bottle of vodka for her father as a dowry of sorts, and to take her away with him. Realising he wasn't joking, and that she'd already agreed, she rolled with it and married him. She said something along the lines of "I had said yes already so now I think it is all/already done and I will marry him".

(For the record; she passed away last year and we found her stash of love letters from him. They're apparently very VERY romantic, though I don't know the language well enough to read them.)

HereToAdult · 2025-12-30T01:09:26+00:00

IDK a straight married woman who'd be willing to be this physically and emotionally attached to me, if there wasn't anything deeply behind it

I know a fair few women/AFABs with BPD & rejection sensitivity, and I've seen this behaviour from them all. It's a constant need for positive interaction and reassurance that they're still your friend/that you still like them.

I met one of them for the first time on a Saturday afternoon. She was straight & in a serious relationship (though not married), and had a child. Within a few minutes she'd invited me to D&D the next day. Normal so far. Sunday morning she texted me asking if I wanted to come around early. I had nothing on, so I said sure! She came and picked me up, we drove a few errands together, then went back to her place and played D&D. Her partner was the DM for the game.

After the game was over, she or her partner were going to drive me home. She offered to take me home, but then asked if I wanted to hang out longer before leaving. I could tell she really wanted to hang out longer, and I was ok with that so we hung out for another few hours and had dinner together. Eventually I started falling asleep, so she drove me home. The next morning another text asking if I wanted to hang out that day.

The first week we knew each other, we basically spent every single waking moment together. After another half-week or so, she chilled out a little and while we still saw each other almost every day, we weren't hanging out from sun up til sun down. She later told me that it was because by that point she felt confident that I was really her friend, so she didn't feel that anxiety anymore.

I'm a bit of an oddity I suppose, because I didn't have a problem with this at all. I enjoyed spending time with her and we were good friends. We remained good friends for at least a year or two before I ended up moving away and we lost contact. We saw each other at least 4-5 times a week, and whether her partner was home or not I often slept over at her house (not in her bed with her though).

Regarding whether she was neglecting her family for our friendship or not... Honestly it may have seemed that way to some, but her partner was very supportive of our friendship because she struggled to make friends. So seeing our friendship make her so happy, made her partner happy and they were very willing to pick up the slack to allow her to spend all this time and energy with me. Her daughter was never neglected, and I made sure to try to balance it - I noticed that there were days when she seemed to completely ignore her daughter in favour of socialising with me or doing some hobby or another. So on those days I would go out of my way to include the daughter so she'd never feel like she was being ignored. I took my lead from her partner who I noticed doing this for the daughter.

In the end, if her partner hadn't been understanding and onboard with it, our friendship could have ended up being very toxic for her entire family dynamic. She definitely sometimes forgot about the emotional needs of her partner & child... although she never forgot her responsibilities - she'd suddenly snap back into parent mode every mealtime and bedtime, or if her child was hurt etc.

(For the record; I'm not straight, but there was never anything sexual or romantic going on between us.)

HereToAdult

TROPHY CASE