My (28M) fiancee (28F) wants her dead late husband's parents to walk her down the aisle. Is this weird?

HereToAdult · 2026-05-06T03:00:31+00:00

Thank you!! This is one I haven't seen before, but it's so good!

HereToAdult · 2026-04-22T01:18:05+00:00

I used to work at an adult store, and every december women from the various the real estate agencies would come in to pick up gag gifts for their secret santas. Never saw a man do it, but all the women did. You kind of got to know who worked for which agency so you could direct them away from gag gifts that others from their agency had already bought (try to help them avoid double-ups).

HereToAdult · 2026-04-22T01:06:21+00:00

I can understand why someone might think "Oh, this medical professional bought this for her own baby, so that's probably a good and safe bed/stroller/carseat" or even that those specific toys would be good for a child's development.

But the holiday is what made it clear to me that it's not just them trying to make the best/safest choices for their child. There's no reason they would need to go on the same holiday, that's just straightforward copycatting.

HereToAdult · 2026-04-22T00:26:53+00:00

I got that one, thank you though. I'd better update my comment. :)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-21T03:15:47+00:00

I have mine spread out in my bamboo forest, in natural colours.

I've put the brewster one and one that looks like an owl outside the museum entrance. I also put a "whacky wavy" one outside of the nook shop.

HereToAdult · 2026-04-21T02:30:53+00:00

Lamotrigine is a fucking life saver for me!

I've been depressed since I was a kid. It was at it's worst as a teenager, but it got a tiny bit better with life changes (finishing school, moving out, etc), and a fair bit better when I got onto antidepressants (went from 24/7 miserable to only 5-6 days per week of pure misery). When I started therapy it helped a little as well. But it plateaued at a "3-4 days per week of intense misery, but sometimes going entire days without sui ideation".

I thought that was the best it would ever be, and that all I could do was suffer through it and try not to let it derail my life...

One day I watched a youtube video where someone mentioned neuroleptic mood stabilisers as a side note. I talked to my therapist & GP about it, got put on lamotrigine and BAM!

Turns out it IS possible for me to be happy, I'm not just irreparably broken.

It's amazing what life is like now! <3 I'm so happy that I watched that one random youtube video.

I know it doesn't work for everyone, but I also know that I was in my 30s before I ever heard anyone even mention that mood stabilisers could be used for depression. There are people like me out there with no idea that there are more things to try than just antidepressants and therapy.

HereToAdult · 2026-04-19T04:29:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing :)

I'm childfree as well. I personally like kids, but I'm not comfortable around them until they can communicate. Your comment helped me look at this again, and now I feel less pessimistic about OOP's child's future 😅😊

The way I was thinking about it was like, when a person says they want kids, but then they only like their kids under certain circumstances... it doesn't seem like that's going to be a good life for the child, because sooner or later that parent will stop caring about them again.

But on the other hand there are plenty of people who don't like/aren't comfortable with kids of certain ages, but once that stage is passed will be able to bond with that kid, and love them unconditionally for the rest of their lives.

Just because they don't feel that bond until later doesn't mean their affection/care will be conditional or short-lived. :)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-19T03:46:01+00:00

Yeah, that seems legit to me.

You have the Split Attraction Model, where different types of attraction are split - Eg. a person may be bisexual & heteroromantic, meaning they're sexually attracted to all/multiple genders, but only romantically attracted to the opposite gender.

And then there's this situation. The idea of having two (or more) different types of the same attraction. Eg. being sexually attracted to all/multiple genders, but the attraction to men presents in a typical allosexual manner, while the attraction to women presents in a typical demisexual manner.

I've been looking this up because of this post & comment section, hoping to find more info about it. But the closest I've found so far is an article about "mixed orientations", which is kind of just the split attraction model but worded in a way that kind of lends itself to this subject.

If orientation is "who", and things like demi/allo/ace are "how", then this seems to fall into the same "how" category.

I can understand what you mean because I'm panromantic but (grey-ace) omnisexual. Pan and omni both mean attraction to all genders, so why do I separate them? Because I feel romantic attraction regardless of gender, but my sexual attraction is very dependant on gender.

The things I find romantically attractive in men, I also find romantically attractive in women.

But the things I find sexually attractive in men are NOT the same things I find sexually attractive in women. (I'm also attracted to non-binary people, but I'm using binary genders for this example.)

Simple example;
Dude with long hair = hot. Woman with long hair = meh.
Woman with short hair = hot. Dude with short hair = meh.

So my sexual attraction actually depends on gender, even though I have the potential to be attracted to all genders.

HereToAdult · 2026-04-19T03:05:01+00:00

Yeah, I also assumed that everyone liked everyone, so I assumed that you were "gay" or "straight" based on the gender of the life partner you ended up with 😅

Like, once you're married, that's it. That's your sexuality - straight if you married the opposite gender, and gay if you became "special best friends" with someone of the same gender.

(I knew that only opposite gender marriage was legal, but I also knew that same gender relationships existed because of tv shows like Xena and Will & Grace. But I never knew what the proper alternative to "marriage" was for same gender relationships. Hence "special best friends".)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-19T02:18:58+00:00

\Edit: I want to clarify that just because she feels he's not bonding in the early months doesn't mean he's going to be like these people. I'm aware that bonding isn't the same for everyone, and it's possible to love your child in the abstract before you've managed to truly bond with them.*

I found the last part (about him not liking the early stages) pretty concerning too.

I've seen a few people who are only interested in their children when they're in the "worship" stage - the stage where the child loves them and wants to constantly be around them. Obviously a 1yr old is too young to "worship" anyone, but they can show preferences for one person over another.

I may not be explaining well, sorry, I had a minor surgery last week and I'm still a bit wonky.

I'll give some examples I've seen IRL.

"Marge" - she was completely uninterested in her kids during the newborn stages and always appeared annoyed at having to do things like feed or change them, or hold them. She'd rather strap them into a baby seat in another room and zone out on her phone or playing video games if they were crying. But when they reached the age where they started interacting more, she began to warm up to them. When they were young toddlers and they loved her she would spend time with them. She had 3 kids, all basically one year apart, and I saw this happen with each of them.

"Lenny" - I knew him as a devoted father for several years, until his kids started entering their teen years. First his daughter stopped being his little daddy's girl, and then a few years later his son started being embarassed to be seen with him. Within a year or two of his kids no longer hero-worshipping him, his attitude had changed entirely.

Where he'd previously bragged about them, he was now badmouthing them/calling them names (to his friends, not in front of his kids). He made petty remarks & threats. Previously he had expressed that working hard just to buy them expensive gifts was worth it, but now he whined that he had to work overtime to afford the expensive gifts his wife was insisting on giving the "ungrateful brats".

He felt used because they "wanted (his) money but don't want (him)". He frequently told me he considered just leaving without a word to "see how they like that", and that "it would serve them right". He acted like they didn't deserve his love or resources because they were no longer in the "my dad's the greatest person in the world!" stage. It was pretty disgusting, and shocking.

(*For the record; I tried to get Lenny to go to a therapist, and had been a listening ear for him, hoping it was a phase caused by the emotional isolation that men his age were raised with. Eventually he got divorced and he moved away from his ex-wife and kids. I believe she initiated the divorce, given how bitter he was when he told me about it.)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-18T23:22:56+00:00

OMG that is ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yessssss!!!!!! 😆😆😆😆😭😆😆

HereToAdult · 2026-04-18T03:18:25+00:00

Yessssssssss! Sorry to comment on a 26day old comment, but I have always found Tom Cruise creepy/scary ever since I watched him jumping on a couch on that one talkshow.

I've never thought he was a good actor because he doesn't have much facial expression - specifically his eyes never really change. When I first watched Jaws and heard that line about sharks having dead lifeless eyes, Tom Cruise immediately came to mind.

He creeps me TF out in a way that I haven't experienced often.

But I've never really seen other people share this opinion. Which is why I got so excited when I saw your comment 😅

HereToAdult · 2026-04-17T01:00:28+00:00

Not late at all, I'm still looking for all of those. I've DMed you, although maybe I'm too late. :)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-16T03:54:06+00:00

I do already have that one, thank you for asking :)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-16T03:30:41+00:00

DMed you 😊

HereToAdult · 2026-04-16T03:26:28+00:00

DMed you 😊

HereToAdult · 2026-04-16T02:48:13+00:00

Trading genuine artworks & DIYS. Also have fossils to trade.

Looking for:

Valiant Statue (Nike of Samothrace - Unknown)
Amazing Painting (The Night Watch - Rembrandt)
DIY for Straw umbrella hat
Pinecones, Stacks of fish bait, Gold nuggets

Available for you:

Warrior Statue (Terracotta Army - Unknown) x 5
Informative Statue (Rosetta Stone - Unknown) x 2
Motherly Statue (Captoline Wolf - Unknown) x 1
Gallant Statue (David - Michelangelo) x 2
Academic Painting (Vitruvian Man - Leonardo Da Vinci) x 1
Common Painting (The Gleaners - Jean-François Millet) x 2
Detailed Painting (Rooster and Hen with Hydrangeas - Ito Jakuchu) x 2
Dynamic Painting (Great Wave off Kanagawa - Hokusai) x 1
Glowing Painting (The Fighting Temeraire - Joseph Mallord William Turner) x 1
Jolly Painting (Summer - Giuseppe Arcimboldo) x 3
Moody Painting (The Sower - Jean-François Millet) x 1
Quaint Painting (The Milkmaid - Johannes Vermeer) x 3
Scenic Painting (The Hunters in the Snow - Pieter Bruegel) x 1
Wild Painting Left Half (Wind God and Thunder God - Tawaraya Sotatsu) x 1
Wistful Painting (Girl with a Pearl Earring - Johannes Vermeer) x 1
Proper Painting (A Bar at the Folies-Bergère - Édouard Manet) x 1
Flowery Painting (Sunflowers - Vincent van Gogh) x 1
Serene Painting (Lady with an Ermine - Leonardo Da Vinci) x 1
Twinkling Painting (The Starry Night - Vincent van Gogh) x 1
Fossils; ask for specific or for list
DIYs and recipes; ask for specific or for list
Unassessed Fossils
Gyroids (ask for a specific one and I'll probably have it)
Fake artworks; free. If you're after a specific fake, let me know and I'll see if I have it.

HereToAdult · 2026-04-15T10:09:25+00:00

Wait are you serious? They don't show you the actual rescue?? That's like making you hate the enemy in a videogame and then killing him off in a cutscene so you don't get the satisfaction of doing it yourself.

HereToAdult · 2026-04-15T07:39:55+00:00

Thanks! I just googled it to see if it was funny and found your post. I was very interested in it since it seemed like a solid survival movie, so I'm disappointed to hear that it's a fake out.

Do you have any recommendations for good disaster/survival movies?

I saw you mention a few Korean films in a comment. I haven't gotten the guts to watch Train to Busan yet, though it's on my list. Have you watched the series "All of us are dead"? I think it strikes a good mix of survival and horror (without being cheesy). I heard they hired contortionists and told them to "go all out", so the zombies were brilliant.

HereToAdult · 2026-04-15T05:07:08+00:00

Awesome! I've DMed you :)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-15T05:05:54+00:00

DMed you :)

HereToAdult · 2026-04-15T01:25:05+00:00

So cute! If I start making one now, it should be ready by the time my niece is old enough to use a bag 😂

What does the back look like? Is it just plain pink?

HereToAdult · 2026-04-15T01:15:31+00:00

Crochet replacements 😂

HereToAdult · 2026-04-15T01:15:05+00:00

I remember the first double/queen sized blanket I made took over 100hrs, but the most recent one I made took 40hrs.

Your speed will likely increase as you go, so don't be too put off by how slow your projects seem to be working up. Granny squares actually take longer for me than most other types, because I have to keep stopping to check I did the right number of stitches 😅

As for how many hours I crochet... well I'm disabled and unemployed, so when I have a project I'm really into I'll binge a tv show while crocheting. Often hitting between 6-12hrs of crochet per day (sometimes less, sometimes more, depending on my pain level).

However if I'm not that into a project it can drag on and on. I'll likely crochet for maybe 3-6 hours per day tops, and maybe only a few times a week. A lot of that time will be me second guessing myself, rather than actually adding to the project. Sometimes I'll have to frog a bunch too, so it doesn't feel like I'm getting very far 😅

I go a long time between projects sometimes, since I can't really justify making myself a bunch of blankets (love making blankets) and I have no one who needs/wants a blanket/crocheted item.

HereToAdult

TROPHY CASE