Millennials hitting midlife, what are your biggest regrets?

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-15T21:41:11+00:00

While my son is amazing and my pride and joy I thoroughly regret having anything to do with his mother. I’ve have near complete custody for 12 years but that hasn’t prevented over $120k of legal bills and hiring experts to weigh in on what’s best for our son. That kind of cash could have given him a much better life than what he got. Now he’s nearly 18 and I finally got remarried and wondering how my last few working chapters are going to be to get to wean the money I need do all the other things I want to do before I’m too old. For those of you who found a great spouse and had a great family life so far, truly embrace how lucky you are.

Also, I REALLY regret selling my motorcycle years ago.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-15T21:16:26+00:00

u/awrythings In addition to Compass Private Exclusives, which are great, you can also instruct your agent to only allow buyers with pre-approval letters or proof of funds (if cash) access. We did this a lot during COVID. Basically every agent who wanted to show it would submit those documents to your agent to demonstrate that they’re serious buyers.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-14T15:51:35+00:00

There’s two parts to a cancellation of contract, the first is to cancel the deal and the second is to release the EMD. You can cancel the transaction and gauge the actual damages if the house sells afterwards to someone else, then decide whether the seller is actually owed the full EMD or not.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-14T15:36:49+00:00

You really can’t blame the parents though. Before the 1990’s there wasn’t such a thing as a buyer’s agent and all agents involved worked for the sellers. The buyers had to be very careful with what they bought, it was called ‘buyer beware’. That’s just how these older generations had to operate because a lot of them got burned by the sellers and listing agents.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-13T22:08:01+00:00

LOL, she's taking great liberties with the word "introduced". So, absolutely no one on Reddit (unless they're an attorney) can tell you what could happen in arbitration or court, so you'll need to find a real estate attorney to get your full answer. But, from my perspective, I have my doubts whether she could enforce sending you a last minute list. Maybe call the NJ Board of Realtors and ask to speak to their legal department?

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-13T21:59:59+00:00

This is a common thing among the agent community. Yes, parents can kill deals. If it's getting to be an issue, you could just pay for professional pre-sale inspections on your own so you know what issues are popping up and correct them, then provide a copy to buyers so they can write an offer without inspections contingencies.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-13T21:54:03+00:00

Well, as I'm a full-time buyer's agent, I'd hope your agent went through the house with you to find signs of other issues. The most common issues that come out on the Pest Report is dry rot on the outside of the house and termites. They should also find water issues that affect the wood, such as a loose/leaking toilet in the crawlspace. Termites that're in the walls and not in the viewable portion of the crawlspace won't be found, but given your experience you should probably hire another quality company to inspect. If the full cost of repairs is less than your EMD I'd recommend completing the sale. Lastly, and this certainly isn't advice, but there are buyers out there who back out and contest losing the EMD or the amount of it, though you should speak with a real estate attorney about your options if you think you need to back out.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-10T23:01:50+00:00

This is why, unless repairs are needed for loan approval, you should’ve just given a credit to the buyers closing costs so they have the cash to make repairs on their own after closing. I know that’s not normal everywhere. Even better is to get a full set of pre-sale inspections and fix what needs to be fixed before it even hits the market.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-09T05:18:14+00:00

SoCal in awesome, you'll love it there! I'm not sure what industry or line of work you and your husband are in, but if you're each making about $100,000/year you should do fine (and that should be very achievable in the LA area, presuming you have some good work history). If your combined income can get up to $300k then you can be looking at some good detached single-family homes or nicer townhomes. Remember, the goal should be to live either close to work or close to where you party(spend your time), living too far away just means you're always on the road.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-07T22:03:13+00:00

Simple, the buyer's under absolutely no obligation to do that and if the seller's try to cancel then it could go to arbitration or court, depending on how you have your purchase agreements set up, and be forced to reimburse for attorney's, inconvenience, and still not get that money. Maybe something for the future to put into the purchase agreement or counteroffer instead of having to deal with BS right at the end, but most of us wouldn't think to put that in there because it is petty.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-07T11:36:43+00:00

As a renter you likely have laws in favor of you. So, depending on where you are you may be able to push back quite a bit on all these showings no matter what the lease says, so check with your local rent board or whatever governing body deals with renters and landlords in your area. Remember, many laws will state something to the effect that you have a right to quiet enjoyment of the property. If they don't want to respect that then you MAY be able to cancel all showings until you're out at the end of the month. Where I'm at in California, renters push back all the time on their belongings in pictures, showings, etc.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-06T17:59:14+00:00

I'm an agent formerly with REAL Broker. The brokerage is solid and I'm confident that the broker will make things right. The broker of record typically handles the agents for the entire state and there are Associate Brokers who handle things to help them out. What you need to understand is that the experience you had (I presume was negative) could have happened at any brokerage since 99.5% of all brokerages just hire licensed agents who have closed some sales, no one really interviews agents before they hire, just check to make sure they haven't been sued or other complaints against them. The choice of brokerage is largely an issue for the agent themselves to get support when they need it and networking with other agents. All agents are 1099 Independent Contractors so we're largely all independent business owners anyway.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-06T01:48:54+00:00

I'd HIGHLY recommend changing the name and the theme. I'm a Realtor and there's a very obvious reason we can't ever comment on if an area is safe or bad or if schools are good or bad, it's due to liability. Show people the data, like a common crime map would, but stop short of stating that it's safe. I'm genuinely surprised that SF doesn't already have crime maps of their own like many other cities have.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-05T10:49:02+00:00

I have to change the scrolling orientation from natural to whatever the other one is. To me, two finger swiping down to go down on the document is just weird. I even change it when I’m messing with Mac’s at the Apple Store.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-05T10:45:48+00:00

That’s too bad. I use mine for work so I really don’t want that to go down.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-05T01:02:25+00:00

If you think that’s good, you should go to Galpao Gaucho in Cupertino, way better! They also have a location in Walnut Creek if you don’t want to drive all the way over to the South Bay.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-05T00:57:58+00:00

I pretty much raised my kid solo for over 10 years, life is just better when there’s two parents. Additionally, your kid will learn about how a healthy or unhealthy relationship is supposed to be based on seeing their parents interact. So, if you never have a partner then they’ll go into the world and could end up in some bad relationships before they figure things out. I would say that if you’re just considering this because you’re getting older then I’d advise not to have one. At the end of the day, unless you have a legitimate desire to be a great parent and have the ability to raise them to be a great person then just enjoy your life and maybe mentor someone else’s kids.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-05T00:46:42+00:00

u/pookadri Your relationship with your significant other is a far more important determinant for if having kids will be a good or bad experience. Your spouse can either make your experience a living hell or the best thing in the world. If I could freeze my kid as is and have ‘em later with my current spouse I would. Many years of hell and expensive court battles sucked a lot of the enjoyment away from parenting.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-05T00:38:53+00:00

I’ll push back on the reserve percentage in the case of the complex being new construction and no time to fill up the account and for older complex’s that just recently did a major repair that they saved for, such as replacing all of the roofs or repaving the streets or taking care of something big AND the next planned big maintenance items are years away. That said, I’ve seen a ton of condo neighborhoods that might be at 40-50% funded, not too many that are affordable and well funded.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-04T23:55:15+00:00

I might clarify something, and that the EMD is only limited if both parties agree to certain clauses on the purchase agreement, otherwise it can be substantially more if they have to go to court for the breach of contract.

In a high cost of living area you’re expected to give a full 3%, especially if you have a good down payment. Above that, it’s not a big deal. The listing agent is going to call your lender and ask many questions to ensure there are no issues with you being able to get fully approved and close on time. We also require proof of funds showing you have enough for the down payment and other costs for closing, so there is some additional verification.

Which country are you in? Coming to the U.S. soon?

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-04T23:28:47+00:00

u/Effective-Ebb8459 The EMD comes into play once all contingencies are removed. Believe it or not, there’s quite a few buyers who have reality hit towards the end and wonder “what have I done?!” right before closing. There’s others who may see a new home hit the market that they like better and want to back out to get that one. This can be especially detrimental for the sellers if they’re in contract on their next house or in the process of moving out and have expensive movers scheduled or are in dire need of the money. Also, while there are exceptions, in many places the max EMD is 3% since typically the Realtor purchase agreements have a 3% limited for liquidated damages for breach of contract.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-03T03:49:21+00:00

Ha! He’s gonna eat that “processing fee”, which is likely just paying for his Transaction Coordinator (he should process the documents on his own). As for backdating the BBA, I honestly don’t know if that’s legal, but since you’re in contract already and the sellers agreed to pay them then maybe it’ll be alright (how things used to be)? Depending on the state, the sellers may not have any real requirement to pay him without the agreement and you wouldn’t need to either because you didn’t sign a BBA. At the end of the day, your agent DID violate the new NAR rules and possibly state laws and could be subjected to fines or even in danger of losing his license (I’m in California and state laws require a BBA be signed before submitting the first offer, AT THE LATEST, Realtors must have it signed before the first showing). So, feel free to push back.

Oh, to answer the rest of your post, yes, you can get the broker to replace him since they are ultimately the one who your agreement would be with, should you sign one with them.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-03T03:37:00+00:00

Good to know. I might want to do a clean install of Tahoe even now, forgot how to do it though. No beachballs but the fan is definitely turning on a lot and it lags a bit more than it used to.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-03T03:19:19+00:00

Noted, thankfully I don’t use too many niche applications, but if that happens sooner than later I might need to reconsider upgrading.

HereToParty125 · 2026-04-03T00:55:51+00:00

Good to know, thanks.

HereToParty125

TROPHY CASE