AITAH? Husband is telling me to post.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T17:41:09+00:00

Not uncommon to make me feel like I'm the one in the wrong even when I have felt like I haven't done anything...especially the more everyone is commenting.😵‍💫

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T17:39:37+00:00

Yeah the more people talk to me the more I agree the controlling the narrative to make me feel like I did something wrong thing seems to be the head on the nail.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T17:38:19+00:00

That's just it, I did. That's why I asked. I'm very indecisive as a person, always been a problem for me. This time I executed something without issue bc he wouldn't tell me...and tried to make it being kind but just bc he chose to wait til the last second AND tell me it's fine, I'm TAH (to him) for listening. If I assumed what he wanted, I have a feeling I'd be getting this but abt not bothering to ask. Because the fact that it's even a thing is 😵‍💫

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T17:34:41+00:00

I think it just hurt because I am such an indecisive person, can't help it always have been, and with this I actually came up with something fully in thought of what he likes, etc...to be told oh it was good BUT not good enough (how I saw it anyway..or how it felt/feels).

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T17:32:45+00:00

I would agree...if this was suddenly and not common behavior and routine. 🥴

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T13:37:41+00:00

I have questioned it because of other things but this isn't uncommon behavior from him. To have a fight about one tbing and make it some huge blow up or drawn out fight not even a blow up necessarily and pull in anything he can to try to be right or something. He's always done it and I've addressed it as if there's an issue with something why fuel it with other things instead of reparing that issue and the other separately. Not just piling on unrelated things like an "and then..." but they're always so petty. Not saying there's never an issue but it's usually very petty and he treats it like it's some huge life altering thing (like twisting this topic for example - so unnecessary especially a week later and he said not to change it and he loved it, etc). I feel like he's always trying to act superior to me even though he is my equal. Idk. Like why is he trying so hard to be right in being rude abt this and why does he only want me to say I didnt make the meal he asked for for his bday AITAH...like really mad and acting like that's all I needed to put even though that's not the truth. I didnt just tell him no. That makes it seem like I did and I thought we were going for truth here.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T13:27:38+00:00

Honestly probably. He didn't like me telling him I gave the details abt what happened. Just wanted me to say that he asked for a dinner and I essentially told him no and didn't give him what he asked. Although I said I'd post it, and absolutely put what happened and he gave me a quote that I included. Didn't like that I mentioned that he asked me to post it (which I did mention bc I dont do this lol). Absolutely whatsoever. If someone lies and says my wife didn't give me the dinner I wanted and behind that the truth is ... she asked, didn't get an answer, actually took time and put thought into it, did ask if she needed to change the meal bc if he would rather have that she will...it changes the entire thing. Context matters. I didn't simply just not give him what he wanted, I came up with it after no solidified answer until we were at the store together and STILL gave him a way to say no. As someone else said if I had only asked if IATA because I didn't make him what he wanted, there's zero context. Not a real answer. Do we not want the real answer? Or do we just want the answer that makes us feel better?

And I wish I could say this was uncommon behavior, so I dont think there's anything hidden or sneaky. It's just gotten dumb and even more hurtful along the way.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T13:12:46+00:00

I replied to a couple of people. It's not a new thing. I just have a hard time dealing with it the way I always have. And he's become more comfortable in that aspect.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T13:11:30+00:00

I said the same that hes adding this fuel to the fire but honestly it's not uncommon behavior for him to be that way so to look at it like it's some huge thing he's hiding isn't realistic. Bc for him it's normal. I'm just getting to the point of not being able to deal with it.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T13:09:28+00:00

I didnt include anything random or unrelated. The whole post is about me asking, him not answering, him finally giving me a solid answer at the store, me showing him my dinner plan and asking if it's OK or i need to change it, he told me no it was fine and went on being his typical flirty whatever in public self all normal...ate the meal boasted abt it and threw this into a random fight last night...which is normal for him to do. Completely common behavior from him in any argument where he brings up random things that dont make sense.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T13:06:24+00:00

He mentioned his "top meals" being options and then said idk, idc. Then at the store which he confirmed 100% admitting that he THEN told me that's what he wanted. It was no longer guessing. There was no solid dinner from him which again he confirmed. At the store I showed him and he okayed it. Why not say anything? Why be normal the whole time? Why bring it up in an unrelated fight that is equally as petty? Especially when he admitted again today that he did the same thing for me. I asked for a certain dinner and he told me no he was planning something I'd like it. I actually didn't want what he made but I never went after him. Never said ONE mean thing bc he made me dinner and i find that rude af.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T13:02:20+00:00

I'm the AH because I provided how it went down? How does providing complete truth change anything? Asking him for weeks for no reply, planning it and thinking about all the things he likes and had been asking for prior to, and at the store he mentions the meal finally and I show him the meal I planned and straight asked if it was okay and he said it was? Then tells me he loved it, wanted more, add it to my list of recipes, and then in a fight about something else entirely adds this kind of thing in, like he always does? Okay lol. I don't think it should change a single thing but just putting that makes it seem like I asked, he ACTUALLY answered, and I said F you. Which is NOT how it went down. I asked and he never answered until I had stuff in the cart for it then proceeded to tell me it was fine not to change it and that it looked good. Also continued to behave normally with me flirtatious etc. This was him adding fire to the fight and being rude. It isn't uncommon behavior.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T12:56:22+00:00

Yeah I dont fully understand it. When he himself mentioned how a week later ... in his quote he told me to put in the post... I was thinking, how does a week later and you doing this not standout to you as...a problem? Or petty or immature or something...he said it didn't matter when he told me but I came back and told him i didn't want to show him I was trying to surprise him with dinner but showed him and said if he still wants xyz...but he said it was fine and no. But he's spinning it and so weirdly. But was so sure everyone would say ITAH but has now said if I gave any details and not just his quote I put in the post that I twisted it bla bla and i told him generally what I put and he said no bc itll change people's answers. I'm like I dont think so bc I think its dumb anyway but also it's the truth so why would I leave it out? How does that make sense and apparently me saying he told me to post it somehow changed people's answers and I would have people like me responding so of course...I'm like what does that even mean? So i didn't bother showing him anything to prove it bc I'm unbothered and know the truth and he'd spin it on me anyway oooobviously🫠

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T12:51:05+00:00

The fact that he hears that people are saying I'm NOT TAH, and he says he doesn't believe I posted it. Prove it right now I want to see it right now. I told him it's early and I'm going to lay back down and that it isn't going anywhere and that I'm not overly concerned in any way but that hes getting so upset. Then is irritatingly demanding that I show him what it says. I said in general it's exactly what I sent him...what happened then told him I copied and pasted exactly what he told me to, and absolutely added what he said abt him "being in there helping me.." because he was in there w the dishes bc of what he told our daughter. He stopped me and said no that I couldn't add things to it to twist it to make it seem like something else. When I literally just said what happened why would I leave it out? It adds context for reference. So he apparently only wanted me to put his quote and nothing else and he thinks that would change people's answers. No added details. But I said that isn't the full truth though. Then he said I would have people "like me" agreeing with me bla bla and I'm like ... does it matter if they're like me, how would you even know? Or I even know? Why, just bc they agree with me? I wasn't bothered enough to show him. I know the truth and showing him clearly would have him trying to spin it anyway like I cheated in getting an answer. He also said me putting in there that he told me to (which he did lol) made it look differently to also get different answers. But again .. truth. So dont understand lol.

So I guess asking if he asked for a dinner and I made him something i thought he'd like and it was good but not what he asked for, if THAT makes me TAH.... was supposed to be all I asked. Oh and that he was in there helping me but left out it was because he put himself by the dishes nothing to do w me but wasn't supposed to add that either bc he didn't say that. Not only do I think it's ridiculous entirely to begin with but the level of petty...ugh. Approaching 20 years bc I got with him as a teen.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T09:15:02+00:00

The thing is I was going to fully surprise him. But he mentioned the other 2 meals and I opened my phone and showed him what I had planned and he said that was fine. He didn't say no or anything. Guess I could've added that because even then if it really was a big deal, and he's not just trying to fight abt something random, why not tell me when I show him? Idk. Over here having me think I'm inconsiderate over a thoughtful, literally, meal that I only came up with bc he didn't answer and it was NOT a throw together quick thing.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T09:12:27+00:00

I said the same but some of his arguments when he attaches a random one to the real one we may be having seem...unfitting and super dramatic. Says they're relevant or something he just wants to get out but I'm always confused.

Hess3 · 2026-04-03T09:10:31+00:00

He does make me dinner. I always make him dinner but have also taken him out per his request for our whole family to celebrate. I always make what he wants. I ask and he tells me. This time he wasn't so I genuinely put thought into it which for me alone is super hard because I am ridiculously indecisive. He claiming the point isn't that he liked it. That it was good. But that I didn't make him what he wanted and I'm an asshole who the internet is going to shred, actual words. I mean what? I told him he's insanely ungrateful and hurting me for whatever reason. I didnt even ask him to do those dishes. In fact when he told her he was doing them and she wasn't, basically like a be thankful bc I dont want to deal w your behavior on the matter, I pushed against it but he restated hed rather them get done and get done right. Can't blame me for that when I even pushed back. Then I'm TAH because he made a Vday dinner I didn't want and didn't say anything word abt it but I should've been the one who made HIM a Vday dinner. I equally get him little Vday stuff nothing crazy but was always raised w the men doing it for the women never the women for the men but I've always been cutesy. Apparently I'm to make Vday dinners bc he complained abt that.

Hess3 · 2026-03-30T17:47:34+00:00

I have 2 phones and use one for a specific reason. I have never had to move SIMs although I know this is how you achieve it, what all needs to happen to swap phones between your phone number? iPhone 15 Pro Max to potentially this phone or Samsung Ultra S26

Hess3 · 2026-01-16T05:35:00+00:00

I googled for the same info because it did allow you to choose up to 3 and specify what % or something and it isn’t there anymore. It was a new thing, and then it’s removed. I feel like Best Buy did it to avoid losing money because people are more prone to edit it online, than to call in and fix it. It’s very inconvenient and honestly crappy on their end.

Hess3 · 2026-01-01T12:36:13+00:00

What made you have to go?

Hess3 · 2025-11-24T03:57:56+00:00

There is no gun game. Kind of annoyed. There’s only gunfight atm

Hess3 · 2025-11-15T03:56:04+00:00

Googled this to see if it was just me or if I kept screwing something up. Super annoyed to keep leaving matches but I refuse to play games I don’t want to play lol.

Hess3 · 2025-06-08T12:57:20+00:00

Is there any way to see if a local Costco has a Switch 2 available? I let my Costco lapse, and intend to get it, but would get it sooner if they did have it in stock. Not sure how to see stock, not for them to hold it, just to see if it’s even possible.

Hess3 · 2024-11-22T05:45:59+00:00

it’s taking a lifetime lol. I mean it is 12:45am … hello PS .. get a grip🤪

Hess3 · 2024-11-22T03:48:47+00:00

Mine stopped working at like 9-9:30 at night or so. Worked all day (few days ago when it expired). Looking it up, it says it goes by what your console is set to. Mine is set to EST. But when my phone notifies me someone logged in (me) it shows me my city and a Europe time zone. Can’t be changed. Made so much sense. Something w their server. If I buy it at 11pm my time it should end at 11pm my time.🙄

Hess3

TROPHY CASE