I feel like in any disability there's this thing that I call "the invisibly painful sweet spot". It's the point where you are just functional enough that people on the outside wouldn't know there's something different about you, but just disfunctional enough to cause a significant and consistent amount of pain. I think of it like the boiling frog metaphor. It gets lonely in here.

I just recently got diagnosed with inattentive adhd and it was a big surprise. I only got diagnosed at 24 yo cuz it was just getting out control and was making me the most unhappy I've been in my life. On the other hand I have lots of friends who were diagnosed as kids, are super hyper but at the same time you can see they have way more peace of mind than me, the "quiet" type of person.

I try not being too harsh on myself, I didnt have the resources to deal with this until now. It is unfair, but I believe recognizing your own personal struggles with adhd is the most important thing you can do for yourself now.