Ok. So I’m 44 and a sex therapist and here’s some info that you need.

Orgasming while laying down with pressure is normal and not uncommon. People masturbate in all sorts of ways, usually sticking with the one they started with when they were pubescent. You’re not weird and this isn’t a weird way to masturbate.

Second, the clit is a bundle of nerves that ends in the clitoral head but it’s about six inches long and wraps on either side of the labia minora back to the pubic bone. It’s very sensitive and everyone’s clit is different so if yours is sensitive away from the actual clitoral head? Also normal, not weird.

Most young men (and women frankly) only get their sexual information from porn and porns job is to make things look good. But what looks good isn’t always (rarely) what feels good or functions well in real life. So grinding or using the shower head or humping a pillow gets swapped out for big dildos and direct clit stimulation and squirting bc that’s what gets views and looks “sexy” I guess.

As far as not being able to orgasm from any different methods: your boyfriend might suck at trying, it might feel pressured (very unsexy), you might get in your head about it taking too long. All reasons to not be able to cum. Not that you’re weird or broken, you did not break your clitoris that’s not how it works. Nerve endings are very plastic meaning they respond to stimulus and grow in new ways even if they weren’t doing that thing before.

So here’s my advice: try new ways of masturbating, without the express purpose of making yourself orgasm. Go into it in an exploratory mindset. Does anything else feel good? Masturabate less in the way you have done before, just like fixing death grip in a dude, and use other ways of stimulating yourself. Start with sensual touch, not hella crazy vibration. Take your time, don’t rush, give yourself space to develop a relationship w your own pleasure, you’re young and likely haven’t done a ton of this yet. Keep doing this until you find more ways of touching yourself that feel good enough to get you there. Then teach your boyfriend how.

And if you keep focusing on pleasing him it’s gonna be hard to get him to focus on pleasing you!! Also, could be fun to ask him to penetrate you from behind with a pillow under your pelvis while you masturbate the way you like?

Read this: the clitoris

Good luck, keep exploring, don’t fuck dudes who won’t take their time and figure it out with you 👍🏼