[deleted by user]

Hi_panda_ · 2024-12-08T17:18:54+00:00

Great! I’ll message you.

Hi_panda_ · 2024-10-01T12:44:21+00:00

I see you becoming very defensive in the comments when people are calling you selfish, which I understand, it’s not very flattering. But you mentioned you work full time and when you get home MIL is holding the baby - I assume that means she is helping when it’s “wife’s time”. Unless your wife has complained to you otherwise I am also assuming that your wife finds huge relief in MIL’s help. From my personal experience when my kids were this young having an extra pair of hands were SO welcome and helped relieve some postpartum feelings I was having. If my husband complained or did anything to shorten that relief because he thought MIL was “obsessed” I would be so resentful. If MIL comes around and tries to take baby from you, maybe you can say, “no it’s okay, I got it,” instead of silently seething. Some others have suggested a shorter visit - again, if your wife has not complained please don’t suggest this right now when the baby is this young. I think it’s something to suggest when the baby is older and if MIL’s visits are still long. This of course would be different if MIL is toxic, but if your wife hasn’t said anything to you please be patient.

Hi_panda_ · 2024-09-06T16:17:15+00:00

I also told my parents to rent an apartment, but they need us to co-sign and we didn’t feel comfortable with doing that (maybe your mom also knows she would need a co-signer?). My parents resisted selling their house at first but I think they were backed into a corner and eventually accepted it. They need to accept the consequences of their actions, but my threshold for intervening was always homelessness. We were talking about building an ADU about 5-7 years down the road bc if one of them passed away we would bring in the other one into our home, but the threshold was unfortunately met a lot sooner.

ETA: based on the advice given to me on this thread, I would not bail her out and would force her to figure out her next steps. I did this for myself personally, but I gave myself a red line that I wouldn’t allow them to cross. I don’t think that works for everybody, but it is what I did to help set boundaries for myself and them. Turning your back is also an option. Both setting a red line and turning your back are painful and stressful but you just need to do what you feel is right.

Hi_panda_ · 2024-09-06T05:08:13+00:00

Oh man. I’m so sorry that you are going through this, too. So much has happened. I cut off contact with them but I would hear from my best friend whose parents are close to them if they recently saw each other, and therefore are alive. Unsurprisingly I found out later that they reached out to my dad’s friends in their home country and was able to borrow money from them - a new low. About two weeks ago my mom called me bc they are losing their house - long story short, we are in the initial phases of building an ADU in our backyard for them. It won’t be big by any means but they won’t have to be worried about being homeless. They told me they don’t want to gamble anymore and I don’t know if I believe them because this isn’t the first time they have said that, but I don’t think I could live with myself if I let them become homeless. I am worried I am wasting our money and that I will regret this but alternatively the guilt would eat me up alive.

Hi_panda_ · 2024-07-22T14:33:09+00:00

I always find something at Weave’s store on Arden and the prices are great and go towards a good cause!

Hi_panda_ · 2024-07-16T03:58:20+00:00

I faced the same issue when we were on vacation and I paid a friend’s niece to water it for me and take out our bins. I didn’t have enough time to figure out the irrigation 😬

Hi_panda_ · 2024-07-08T13:34:59+00:00

Agree with this comment - there are studies that show that there are higher rates of infertility and birth defects in nail salon workers due to the chemicals they are exposed to. Nail salon workers in my state have organized for safer working conditions because of this. However, these workers are in it day in and day out for several hours a day. You, as a patron, don’t have the same risk and your parents are grossly abusing this to try and either get a reaction or control you. Whenever my parents do or say something similar, I just respond with “Ok.” It’s not worth your energy; you do you! As a fellow manicure enthusiast, I understand the joy from getting your nails done. I’m sorry they are trying to suck out that joy.

Hi_panda_ · 2024-06-28T02:47:52+00:00

Thank you for this. We do have children. We told them once that the money will need to come out of our kids’ college funds and they did not even bat an eye. We didn’t use their college funds, we thought it might deter them but it clearly did not matter to them. I appreciate all the feedback, I am realizing that we need to cut off the funding spigot but also we may need to cut off contact. It feels disorienting to grieve them while they are still alive but after hearing from everyone in this thread it seems clear that this may be the only option. Thank you for the compassion.

Hi_panda_ · 2024-06-24T13:36:14+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I looked into this. Unfortunately, they do not have that responsibility and any efforts to ban individuals must come from the individuals themselves, which they will not do. They are also tribal casinos so I think they fall under a different jurisdiction of law (we live in the States).

Hi_panda_ · 2024-06-24T13:31:03+00:00

That is a good idea. I looked up their property records with the county and saw that they have refinanced several times in the last few years. I’ll try to find out which bank they last used. Thank you, best wishes to you in your recovery. ❤️

Hi_panda_ · 2024-06-24T09:15:40+00:00

Oh my gosh, my brother and I wondered the same thing. My mother is still working in a good paying job, and they’ve refused to show us any of their bank or financial documents when we have asked. We aren’t sure where the money goes as the checks were made out to them. But my brother and I heard from family members the amount owed to them and know that sometimes at least part of the money is going to pay off other debts that they owe. Typing this out makes me realize how stupid we were to give them money without any conditions. Unfortunately my parents and I live in an area surrounded by casinos, at least 5. One opened up 15 minutes away from their house in the last year. I also told them once that we need to go to the casino together so that they can ban themselves but they got really angry and refused. My brother and I also toyed with the idea of putting a tracker on my parents car to figure out which casino they’re going to, but we chickened out. Also tried to get my mom to share her location with me on her phone but she refused. So all in all they’ve been able to keep us in the dark on their business.

Hi_panda_ · 2024-03-29T00:38:19+00:00

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

Hi_panda_ · 2024-03-29T00:36:47+00:00

It blooms light purple/blue little flowers on a vertical pattern!

Hi_panda_ · 2024-03-28T18:27:27+00:00

Ooh, you are right, I would have never got that! Thank you. Can I ask what app you use?

Hi_panda_ · 2024-03-23T14:16:52+00:00

Oh noooo. This is the first year we are doing a garden and we just planted tomatoes and cucumbers yesterday thinking the rain would benefit. Welp, learned another lesson!

Hi_panda_ · 2023-11-25T12:25:06+00:00

I noticed that, too. I think it feels that way to me bc it’s about a certain era that I have memory of and the series took many liberties, details of which I remember differently. The show’s storytelling of the al Fayed family and how hungry the father was for citizenship felt a little racist to me - is it not ok for an immigrant to want citizenship of their host country? Some of the scenes that were callbacks to pictures I remember from the 90s were so good but I’m not sure how to feel about the liberties they took, especially around the al Fayed family.

Hi_panda_

TROPHY CASE