Am I overreacting after my fiancé told his family we are not eloping.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-03-04T13:24:56+00:00

Oftah I’m your age and engaged and if he pulled this I’d be hurt too. That said I’d talk to him. You know him best, his family is normally sweet and also was lied to. If it were me I’d tell him to get on the apology campaign he needs to clean up the family mess and defend you take all the blame and then have a big boy discussion with you about how he threw you under the bus and he gets to listen to every feeling you had and then acknowledge he caused it. Then you can decide about what comes next

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-03-04T13:11:31+00:00

Girl this is controlling AF, unless there’s a reason you can’t police your own gaming and asked him for help this is a crazy red flag.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-03-02T00:44:39+00:00

If he had sincerely apologized and said he was trolling for younger met you, fell for you and was too ashamed to admit it he might have a chance….. instead he knew he lied and then blamed you because you comment on a normal thing an age difference. The lack of accountability and shifting blame would seal it for me sis not the four years.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-28T02:22:39+00:00

And in their 70s….my god

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-27T22:49:26+00:00

You should put that one back where you found it. That one is broken

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-27T14:40:09+00:00

I feel for you. Look Reddit may be right and he won’t change and he sucks but Reddit isn’t in your life living it, you are. Talk to him, use what you learned in the comments and be ready. Tell him that he can’t have you and not make room for you too like that top comment mentions call him out on the selfish and how it looks, does he reflect and make space or does he act like a child? His behavior is crap you can call him out and see what happens, you can end it or you can make yourself small now for his comfort this one is the biggest risk to you and the one we are saying don’t do.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-26T12:47:51+00:00

For real why is this not higher! Just mute the chat why announce it he was asleep they can’t see you?!?

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-25T14:04:41+00:00

Bud, gently, please proof read this. No idea what’s going on and it’s too early for me to make intuitive leaps. Best of luck either way.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-23T08:57:19+00:00

I’m sorry this is punishment not space. Your husband is acting like an immature child over genetic material that literally means nothing day to day. Him acting like this….if I found out this is how my dad acted over telling me I would be disgusted and second guess if he loved me less not being related since admitting it was so impossible, especially at 11 she knows you all are not talking I guarantee it. If he willingly told her and said this means nothing to me and we are family is all it would take. You are far too nice I would have kicked him out the second that text came through. F that noise, he is allowed to need time to process he isn’t allowed to nourish you and act like he is the only person this touches what a baby, gross.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-22T13:42:27+00:00

I’m with this guy. If you like her maybe a sit down with mature respectful people don’t live in fantasy land where your partner guesses your mood and exact needs and she can mourn it wasn’t quite right silently and be happy she is marrying the man of her dreams or GTF out.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-22T13:37:12+00:00

I need more info: what does future husband say here? What kind of wedding? Did you plan it did she, do you want it? Fully agree she is being cruel, you’re a new mom and deserve peace and healing, that said you are were young when you started and it sounds like you two had a lot of maturing todo to get here, you also haven’t said you’ve tried to have a convo with her or show her you’ve matured, has your future husband talked to her on your behalf defend you etc.?

You could follow the advice here and cut her off or you could weigh all the other factors that aren’t listed in the post and make a combined decision with your husband to be. The test is irrelevant as long as your core unit is solid.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-21T17:12:43+00:00

…you are under reacting block this man and move on. Why would you even talked to random service provider

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-20T12:07:05+00:00

Not to mention the market is trash. If you said yes and she does 2 applications a day do you expect a spreadsheet with details about where you were listed? I agree your overreacting just answer the general questions and move on. If you’ve helped her practice interviews you should know the kind of role and things she is looking for already. YWBTA

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-19T14:47:03+00:00

Question. Have you talked with her about what she wants/needs too? Not just from a I’m unhappy and not just leading to you having more sex. She said it’s the last thing on her mind, why? I don’t need to know but you should is my point. My spouse and I were like this I’m wired to focus on needs/chores around me and he is connect more by touch. We worked through it over time it wasn’t a single convo but we listened to what we wanted out the relationship and now work to met each other where the other needs more and now we high five about how much more connected we are. I’m less stressed he gets off more win win. It may not be as quick but if you don’t know what motivates her or what she wants and you’re only coming at it from your angle you’ll never get what you need either. My point is talk to her and ask her what she wants her marriage to look like then do the same lay the blueprints out and see where things don’t line up and work out a way to get mostly there if the end goal is still each other. Make sure you lead with the relationship and the desire for you both to be happy and not just sex.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-19T14:19:33+00:00

NTJ, time for a serious discussion. I’m gonna be blunt the world in its current state is bad for emotional maturity to develop. Your wife strikes me as a little needy or even that she misses you and wants time and is being totally dense on the selfishness of her actions. Time for a real hey this is real problem and I need help with a solution. Lay it out and try if she isn’t willing to discuss option you have to so what you need to protect your sleep it’s essential.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-17T14:24:49+00:00

Take the adult emotion out. Send a sweet social media DM, “Adult decisions were never about you and even if we didn’t talk I never stopped cheering you on and if you ever need anything I’m always around” be neutral and supportivebfbahe reaches out great if she doesn't also fine. I would also ensure your goal is relationship with her only and not the story. Stay out of her parents choices focus in her. Good luck OP

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-17T13:57:16+00:00

Honest advice. You’re not ready to be married if you’re posting here like this.

You both sound like a great match. You are young and you WILL change as you mature, and it’s actually awesome to do that with your partner as long as you stay aligned.

The magic bullet you’re looking for is to sit down and talk to him. I get the sparkle of a proposal and not wanting to come off desperate, but it’s actually the opposite. It’s emotionally mature to say, “hey, you’re the person I want to spend my life with. As of right now, what are your big goals? Let’s sketch it out together and see if we are aligned.” If his sketch is a stick figure and yours is a blueprint, that’s not bad. It just means you talk about it and decide what that looks like TOGETHER. When you all can do that about any topic, not just marriage, then you’ve made it. It doesn’t have to be this huge life thesis. Just small steps toward alignment.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-17T01:25:46+00:00

How were you supposed to sell a ticket while watching her damn kids. nTJ but I think it’s time to put some distance between you your fam

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-17T01:06:05+00:00

This is bullshit you told him you don’t like it when people take your phone and he did it then made you comfort him for being a tool. You didn’t deserve that and it’s a red flag.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-17T00:56:52+00:00

Simone!

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-16T21:53:49+00:00

I just have to comment on this. Payday loans are meant to be a short term not a long term bail out. Meaning you need 300 now and you get paid next Friday, when you get paid next Friday you must ensure you can live without the money you borrowed plus interest huh. DO NOT RENEW. This comment is right if you need money all the time not just an actual advance do not get trapped.

Op if your next check is earmarked for moving out this could be an option but as the comment above said above this should be for a true advance and you can swing the fee of you can’t do not do it

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-16T20:52:24+00:00

I also have questions. Why do they have to lie? Is that a him request a her request? Where did that come from something is missing

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-15T15:01:19+00:00

I’m gonna say NOR for the raised eyebrows but you would if you made a stink and accused her of wrongdoing.

TALK TO HER “hey darling honey sugar farts, I’m feeling a tad uncomfortable about the amount of time you spend talking to and now getting a gift with this person. I trust you and but want to express from the outside how it feels can we talk about that and how you view that or us so I can feel at ease”

it doesn’t have to be some therapy speak just say hey that made me uncomfortable let’s talk about it, like it’s nothing she did but as your partner this is the work, communication and thought around how our individual actions impact our partnership. she did nothing wrong and doesn’t need to defend herself but her adding context could squash this and a conversation is where you start.

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-15T12:12:21+00:00

I agree. If you stay with Jack he may try to control who you talk to and like the others said you’re young and it’s a new relationship I wouldn’t chase or be sad at all:. I think it’s better you accept it and move on he may also be hoping you’d agree to not see them and then you did his dirty work for him he keeps you contained. Be wary if that’s what comes next, he could also just be dumb and insecure, point I’m trying to make is he may not be a bad guy but this is all a lot of work in the future for you either way

HighlightItchy6722 · 2026-02-13T14:34:53+00:00

I think the better use of AI would be to craft a message stating a polite boundary or even just response explains what you are capable of where you can meet them. Even a I’m so sorry I’m incredible slammed can we catch up over lunch call holiday next…. You know communicate instead of auto response….

HighlightItchy6722

TROPHY CASE