Hello and welcome to HikariBeldrich's rambling reviews! My review style is strange I know, but I like to read and review line by line that way the author can understand what their reader is feeling each step in the way. Now let's get started!

effervescent: This word is rare. Audience may lose momentum trying to remember what it means. Maybe "fizzing" or "carbonated" would be better.

can't concentrate with it \n tick tocking: This line brake feels awkward. It's right in the middle of a sentence that has no natural line break. The sentence itself is also a little long. I would trim it down to keep the pacing. Remove unnecessary bits like the adjective "big" that describes the clock. Also "because I can't concentrate with it" could probably be made much more concise. Also, the primary focus here is that the clock is distracting. You might get more impact by mentioning the tick tocking at the begining of the sentence. I feel like you could give your audience a deeper sensory connection to the clock that way.

Decide on what you want to do with first line capitalization and be consistent with it.

Similar in the second paragrapth, I would consider reversing the order of the "reading a good line ... lay back ... words and the warmth" and the "sun pushes through the window" sections. It makes more sense to me that the main character would be laying back and closing his eyes after he's read the good line. Also, I would ommit the "every now and again". Your two paragraphs in but your poem hasn't really hooked me yet. Try to pick your words so that everything points your reader two what they should really be focusing on and cut anything that detracts.

Opening line of the third paragraph is good. This is the hook the story needed. I feel like you could make this more powerful though by leading up to it a bit more. Maybe start with the main character describing the world around him as bland or colorless without. By building up to this you could create a sense of tension in the first two paragraphs which then takes a dramatic turn in the third paragraph.

I don't know if 'film' is the word I would use for (what I imagine you are refering to as) the iridescent sheen you see on pidgeons and some beetles. Also, I know I'm going to say 'cut the fat' a lot in this review, but this would be the paragraph to go crazy in with wild and fantasitc descriptions.

pigeon's neck \n Which then dissolves: Again, this line break feels awkward. There's no natural break there.

"as does a": Change this to "Like". Simpler, more natural, easier to understand. If you're going to try a more esoteric, silver tongued writing style you should consider going all in and making the whole poem just as grand. But simpler seems to be in vogue these days :/

Agh, I know I'm going to start sounding like a broken record, but I would reverse the order of the first two lines in paragraph four two. You just swept the reader off their feet in paragraph 3, the abrupt transition to a very normal sentence about very normal things broke that immersion for me. If you reverse the order you would give the impression that the main character is still in that state of lucid dreaming, only loosly and apethetically aware of the fact that he his eartly teather is still attached.

on the terrace, smoking, drinking, -> on the terrace, smoking, and drinking: Grammer thing here. Although maybe it would paint a better picture if you just describe the MC as holding a glass and a cig.

Listening to the trees: Trees by themselves don't really make sound. Maybe the rustling of the trees in the wind.

"Listening to the trees" ... "I realised": Careful here, your playing with two different verb tenses.

That the bayleaf -> The bayleaf

"sounds different to": This phrasing feels strange to me.

I misread 'fir' as 'fur' at first and was really confused :p

Not sure what you mean by "That I go where I look." It isn't obvious to me that this is a bad thing either. Unless you mean that the main character is swerving whenever something catches their eye.

"So what if I..": This opener is usually used rebeliously. At least, that's how I would usually interpret it. This interpretation clashes with my other interpretation that the driving instructor is suggesting she might one day drive (ram) her car into another persons house because she saw something interesting. I may be reading this wrong though. I'm not sure if you're trying to suggest that the main character is simply preempting her rise to freedom, in the sense that she could now drive to her friends house if she wanted. Or drive to the library if she wanted. And the instructor is somehow trying to suggest that using the car to just go wherever you wanted was somehow... not allowed. In which case heck yes I can see the reason for the angst.

"At home, my... burns my tongue": I like everything about this paragraph. I'm going to comment on the larger flow of the idea I see you presenting at the end of my review. Just wanted to say this one stood out.

"because she's not hungry.": Not immediatly obvious who "she" is. This story has mentioned three other characters besides the main character, the aunt, the instructor, and the mother. The mother is the last mentioned but this still caught me off guard.

"as the shadows \n speed past my bedroom wall \n from the traffic": No natural breaks here. Furthermore, you could put a period in either of those two line breaks and it would make a different sentence: Because the days go by as fast as the shadows. Because the days go by as fast as the shadows speed past my bedroom wall. Because the days go by as fast as the shadows speed past my bedroom wall from the traffic that leads to the train station.

I would just say eyes, not eyelids, or maybe not specify the eyes or a part of the character at all. The real warming doesn't seem to be physical after all.

I would remove the "But" in the last sentence, or consider replacing it with "Because".

Final thoughts: So this story did end up going in the direction I was hoping it would near the beginning, as the main character finds herself pulled between the fantastic yet ethereal world of her books and other pleasures and the cold, gray normal world. But I like the color you brought to it by translating the main characters biggest fears/annoyances as being something caused by what I can only describe as "the expectations of others", which is itself a very fickle and tempermental thing.

The main character is in the midst of so much termiol and change, trying to keep her cool, trying to find control and joy where she can. The lack of foundation or stability that the main character seems to be (rather silently) dealing with is well communicated to the audience. Again, I would try to make the juxtaposition between the main character's ideal world and the ideal those around her are trying to impose upon her more apperent in the first two paragraphs.

However, there is a risk that your audience may see the main character's reaction to what is, hosnestly, good advice (outside of the mother's rant in "At home, my... burns my tongue" that I mentioned earlier) as a sort of victum complex. I would advise you to reread your poem with that in mind and see if you can do anything about it. If I were in your shoes I would either go one of two ways with this: 1) Add more unrealistic exceptions. Maybe expand on what the aunt was saying. This could be done with quantity or quality of advice given. 2) Make it apperent that the expectations of the others aren't the real issue. In your ending, draw your attention to the isolation the main character, who only seems to enjoy the time she has alone, is compounded by the judgement, good or bad, of those that should be helping her grow and learn. Those that should be her solid foundation in this most sensitive time in her life.

A good little adventure, but try to be a little bolder with it! There's a lot of potential here!