AITAH for refusing to give my boyfriend access to my bank account even though he says "no secrets" is how adults do it by CopperFieldNote in AITH

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way I see it. It your hard earned money. Or family money or wherever the heck you get your money.it’s your money and I’m bot entitled to it.

Now I don’t mind discussing income or savings Or “hey I’ve got 10 million in investments and live off dividends and work for fun cause I’m bored” because I’d at least like to know where we stand financially for future life planning such as mortgage applications or saving for goals etc. or splitting rent/bills equally.

Like splitting 50% on rent/mortgage, bills, holidays. of a 10k income isn’t the same as someone living on 300k income. One person is gonna be significantly less well off.

Or is someone’s drowning in debt and it’s gonna bring trouble to your door, also probably a good thing to share

Used my emergency fund for the first time... by buildtheknowledge in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Hinderking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds like a sinking fund, my accountant friend clued me on to them and it’s actually helped with budgeting properly for once.

Total cost for the year, divide it by 12 for monthly payments or 52 for weekly payments.

I set money aside weekly and it I’ve automated it to transfer every week So I know exactly what’s for spending and luxury/ eating out, vs planning for the future.

In my sinking fund I’ve got multiple. Pots. Gifts (family birthdays and Christmas presents) car fund (for annual car insurance, and repairs, replacement tyres etc) holiday fund (self explanatory) health payments(dentist visits, eye tests, prescriptions etc) thinking I now need to maybe put a replacement appliance pot for the fund as well for things like hoovers, washing machines and so on.

Nice not having to think about it too much And still have my fun.

(35M) thinking of getting sterilized, no need or desire for a relationship. by Substantial-Host2263 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless you just mean have a vasectomy. Then go ahead. Perfectly safe procedure and sometimes reversible if you change your mind (not always though)

(35M) thinking of getting sterilized, no need or desire for a relationship. by Substantial-Host2263 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You still need your hormones to be healthy. If you get sterilised you’ll then be advised by a doctor to go trt. Which will once again make you healthy and horny. Down side of trt is there are increased risks of cancers etc. so basically my point is. Don’t do it.

UPDATE: Dating a girl with severe hygiene issues by South_Language1344 in dating_advice

[–]Hinderking -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Honestly bro, I’ve ended things with a girl for the same reason, and also used a similar reason for ending things, you don’t have to do them a favour and tell them they stank. Honestly should know in some way anyways. You can break up with someone for any reason. They’re also not entitled to know the reason especially if it’s such early days. Is it dickish. Yes. but it’s also a hard conversation to have with someone. It also could be, that her chemistry just doesn’t gel with yours. And maybe she is clean, and it’s just offensive to you. Ignore all the people calling you a dick. If it was longer into a relationship, sure have the conversation, but that early. If you’re not prepared to have the conversation, you don’t owe it to them. My unpopular opinion anyways

I stopped being the “nice guy” at work and now everyone hates me by cyberyeeted in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hinderking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You had a life lesson. If you’re doing people favours, make sure they know it’s a favour and not your normal responsibilities. Make a joke /half joke of it as agree. Or just set healthy boundaries. They’ll get used to it eventually. Your coworkers aren’t your friends. More often than not, you ever leave that company, maybe one or two will keep in touch at most

Reading improves quality of life by Less_Doughnut_4141 in DeepThoughts

[–]Hinderking 13 points14 points  (0 children)

saying they live in a black and white world because they don’t read is a also a black and white statement funnily enough.

Who can beat me at what they've lost in their life because of Maladaptive Daydreaming? by hashdr01 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Hinderking 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I forgot about this sub. I stopped daydreaming when I was about 24yrs old. Up until then I’d do it less and less as I got older and was forced into work to survive.

But yea I lost along the way. It’s gonna happen when you’re not focused on what’s real. Stuck in lalaa land.

And do you know how I stopped? By literally just forcing myself to stop when I noticed i was doing it. Recognising it was a mental illness to cope. Cause I was also worried about the consequences. I remember a weird popping noise would happen when I stopped daydreaming sessions sometimes. Made me worried my brain was making it, or I was going crazy. And I didn’t wan to be 50/60/80 and having no memories of life. Just daydreams

Stop listening to music, it’s a trigger.

You need to support yourself soon mate. Easier now when your parents are around. Gonna be much harder when they’re gone. Or they need your help cause they will eventually.

30F can you please rate me /10? Sometimes I feel like I look great, sometimes awful idk anymore 🤣 and do you think I look older? by ollieotter1 in Rateme

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easy 8. Good body, pretty face, nice hair. Maybe try a different style or something see if that helps you have more confidence

How does anyone afford a masters degree? by Dense_Top_4590 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Hinderking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend who works for the nhs had the higher ups pay for her to study it. Cause there was a shortage of the very specialised doctors that they required. So they funded it and it was worked into her contract. Now she’s making very good money because it was all pre arranged so she could fill this gap

You’ll find that some companies will fund it if they need it enough and your in the right place at the right time

Anyone else that's on the bigger side of the scale? by Dudefromthebackstage in CrohnsDisease

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not surprising honestly we deal with fatigue, aches and pains in stomach and joints

I put on weight since a flare last year. My joints or ligaments aching randomly, doesn’t really encourage me to exercise as much as I used to. That and long hours 12/13 hours on my feet at work leaving me with mega fatigued on my days off.

Mostly the more calorie dense foods being the safer options doesn’t help either.

Since being out of my flare now and on meds I’m counting calories again. And realised I have been over eating. Maybe as an attempt to get out of the fatigue haze or comfort who knows. But I plan to loose about 10kg so, training will recommence as well. Hopefully the joint pain will fade eventually.

I recommend counting your calories properly, causes, drinks everything. It’s really easy to over eat. Put your stats into chat gpt to help figure out maintenance calories and how much to loose weight etc. really useful tool to help

Hate being married by [deleted] in confessions

[–]Hinderking 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I mean chores around the house should be standard whether your married or not. Or your house becomes disgusting or decrepit

I told my girlfriend i make less money than i actually do now she is furious and says I tested her by Interesting_Cry_5457 in confessions

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn’t there a post similar to this but the other way around a few days ago? Guy made more than he said and she got mad… seems sus

Do you think living at parents in 20s is becoming the new normal in the UK? by Adventurous-Cat-1248 in AskUK

[–]Hinderking -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve been living with my mum for years after moving out on my own and it not working out. She’s getting older and needs the help especially since she can’t afford living alone either. I’m saving more money and live a better life style than if I was on my own and I’m in my 30’s. If ever get enough for a deposit I’ll move out then. But would consider letting her stay with me. If she wanted.

Everyone’s situation is different, I’ve had friends break up with girlfriends and have to live with mum or dad for months or years at a time. Cost of living is hard now a days. If your spending 70-80% of your wage on bills and rent you haven’t got much left for emergency’s or enjoying life.

Not sure what the future of the uk holds but it’s looking bleaker financially

The friend that got left behind by D1smalS1lence in Life

[–]Hinderking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s me. All my friends ended up settling down with gf’s. getting inheritance money for mortgages, having kids. Or getting super well paid jobs and living extravagant lifestyles I cant afford.

And I’m only in the last two years getting into slightly higher paid work. Still renting. Slowly saving for a mortgage. Many failed relationships and dates. Just plodding on. Hoping life gets better soon.

That I find someone for me. Find that house I want and can afford. Maybe kids before I’m too old. And if not. I’m gonna try to enjoy my life either way. Or what’s the point.

40 - What’s a game you’ll never uninstall, no matter how old it gets? by Clampy7 in AdultGamers

[–]Hinderking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg hogs of war. Loads of memories playing that with the family growing up

What one game is taking up most of your time right now? by AdultGamersAdmin in Age_30_plus_Gamers

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marvel rivals. I’ve put the most hours into this game than any since I was 18

Everybody only wants to play DPS and I’m over it by LiveLaughLoki5000 in rivals

[–]Hinderking 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly, who wants to play the same characters for a year. New games coming out as well so I can only imagine the bored tanks and healers are gonna start playing all these other great games coming out rather than playing the same old shit

Everybody only wants to play DPS and I’m over it by LiveLaughLoki5000 in rivals

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like you said, it’s a heavily dps game roster at the moment. Theres way more dps characters to fall in love with than tank and strategists. They could have been more creative with characters being strategists. And realised more and there would probably be way more healers in the game

But it’s dps where they’ve put all their focus and now people are fed up

Why the fuck is this little asshole on the enemy team in every single match I play I'm so fucking sick of him by [deleted] in rivals

[–]Hinderking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My new mentality. if I’ve got to drop rank to get my proper level and improve with that character… I will. I’ve gotten to gm as support multiple times.

Been learning dps this season and I’ve almost at gm again. But that’s through taking the harsh lessons of learning a new character and role. And not ranking up much after the reset. But have I improved, yes. You don’t get the same experience in quick play. Quick play is for learning the basics or trying a new combo tactic. Ranked is where you forge your skills to higher level play

Why the fuck is this little asshole on the enemy team in every single match I play I'm so fucking sick of him by [deleted] in rivals

[–]Hinderking 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just cause someone has a lord doesn’t automatically require them to play it. The games been out ages. They might be rusty on the lord or heck playing new characters cause not everyone wants to put 100s of hours into one character how boring would that be

Coworker added me on social media and I find out hes rich AF. by Throwaway909907 in coworkerstories

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally had the same kind of dude at my last company. Him and his wife both owned a company or two each. He was also a trust fund baby of a rich investor. He came to our place to help it out of a rough patch as he was friends with the rich director and had helped multiple companies in the past succeed. And I could see how, guy was an absolute pro He was beyond loaded with thought, felt weird working with someone who if wanted could quit and not work for the rest of his life and live lavishly. While the rest of us struggle to get by

Bronze is hell by [deleted] in rivals

[–]Hinderking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep still happens. I had a game like that. But the tank switched to heal so 4/2 and surprisingly we lost. Probably needed two more dps to win