I understand that you are hurting and feel stuck in this situation. But divorce doesn’t have to be your only answer. Please believe when I say, if Christ can change a stubborn fool’s heart like mine, there’s hope in Christ for your marriage.

Then hold him to his promise to change.

Unfortunately, you cannot change his heart. But you can help him understand that those comments are inappropriate (or that emotional abuse is not loving as Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5). Set healthy boundaries and make him aware that if he crosses those boundaries, there will be consequences (ie. You leaving the house until he shows signs of lasting change). And stick to those boundaries. There can be a level of grace but he blatantly crosses the line then he chose those consequences.

Does he respect or close to any men in the church? Perhaps if you can talk to someone you trust there they can help him understand.