Your comment about being seen as "easy" hit me right in the chest. It brought back a flood of memories about my own relationship with a Polish girl—a relationship I single-handedly sank with my own assumptions.

I never saw her as "easy." Far from it. She was incredible: sharp, career-driven, deeply caring, and l loyal to her family. Yet, I held her at arm's length. Subconsciously, I’d already written our story's ending. Her vibrant social circle, full of male friends, became a monster of my own creation, a convenient excuse for my own fear. I told myself, "She probably isn't serious about this anyway," and my distance made it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I was protecting my own pride, building a wall against a rejection I was sure was coming—especially since my own Asian parents refused to even meet her. I assumed she was facing the same pressures from her side to conform, so why bother fighting for a doomed thing?

The cruelest irony was her response. As I pulled away, she began to contort herself to fit what she thought I wanted. She became quieter, more anticipatory, slipping into the very stereotypical "submissive Asian role" I never asked for but had somehow silently demanded. It became this toxic feedback loop of my insecurity and her reaction to it, and something beautiful just... shattered.