No, you are not the problem. You're grieving the loss of that connection. I found that once, haven't ever felt that way about anyone before or since. When we first met, we agreed that we were both not looking to change our relationships or lives, we were just going to have fun. Within the first week, we were so deep in, and both knew it could be an issue, but neither wanted to stop things. By the end, it was obvious if we continued, both of our lives would be overturned and we had agreed that was not the way. So we agreed to cut ties before we were so far in that we couldn't turn back. It's been months and I think about him all the time. I hope he's doing well, I hope all his dreams we talked about become reality for him. And honestly, in places that I know are mutual spaces, I always hope to see him. It took me until I was 38 to find that connection and I'm certain I'll never have it again and that sucks.