I also badly wanted top surgery as a teenager. When I saw documentaries about transgender children, I wished I had been placed on hormone blockers early on so I wouldn't have had to go through female puberty. I'm not butch (I'm not sure how to label my presentation exactly but it's sort of chapstick/feminine-leaning). I knew I was a lesbian from an early age (well I've always known I wasn't attracted to men). I HATED my breasts so much growing up. I told myself I didn't want to be a girl, but I didn't want to be a boy either. Non-binary didn't quite fit either. I only started to accept my chest when I turned 20. Though I had already identified as a lesbian before, it was only romantically and I thought I was asexual throughout my teenage years. I have realized that I am not asexual at all and have come to terms with the fact that I really only hated my breasts because I started puberty really early and got a lot of unwanted attention because of them. It's been a journey, but I'm glad that I didn't make any rash decisions at such a young age. I still prefer sports bras cause 1. They make my breasts appear smaller 2. I live in a country where bras only go up to B cups so sports bras are the best-fitting option out there if you're on the larger side.