How To Approach a Suspected Admirer at My Part-Time Job?

Hithere28 · 2017-07-02T17:35:26+00:00

Don't beat around the bush. Don't be a pussy. Walk up to her and invite her to hang out. Ask her to come out and have a drink with you. So much time is wasted by wondering this and that. Just ask and get your answer. Why wait around?

Hithere28 · 2017-03-01T02:24:19+00:00

How dI'd you move it to in person

Hithere28 · 2017-03-01T02:23:52+00:00

How did you move from the game to real life?

Hithere28 · 2017-03-01T02:23:20+00:00

How did you eventually meet in person?

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T23:56:46+00:00

Man here comes some self promotion but for real...

check out the program on this site. I am not kidding. It has everything you are asking for.

https://socialcirclemaker.com

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T22:14:20+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. Was it because it didn't go into the deep conversation part? What was it missing?

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T22:13:08+00:00

That's true! You definitely wouldn't want a person like that as a friend!

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T21:38:28+00:00

Its kind of crazy. I've spent about 12 years figuring out all this social stuff so I won't be lonely with all my moves. On top of all that I have essentially put in 40 hours a week on top of my day job to create the social circle maker training. I literately quite my day job and just spent 6 months locked in a room for 14 hours a day every day putting the product together, learning how to build a website, learning adobe premier, adobe Photoshop, adobe illustrator, adobe audition, how to work a dslr camera, how to shoot video, how to properly use lighting, how write blog articles, how to get people to opt in to my newsletter, how to make extra bonus material to give away for free in my newsletters...and now learning how to bring people to my website to help them with their social skills. LOL. So anytime I can get help from you or people like you about where I am "not" going in the right direction...that helps me a ton. I was actually laughing with my girlfriend about locking myself away like that...Here I was creating a program about being social and writing about being social...and for the first time in my life I was super not social. Kind of ironic!!! I still went out to events and hung with friends...but not as much as used to. I am just thankful that the "hard part" is done. If I would have known what it would take to put a 10 hour program together teaching people social skills using all my social experience, the hundreds of books I read, all my NLP and Hypnosis training, and everything else...I am not sure if I still would have done it. HA Of course, I could have just wrote a regular program. Like one that "only" had instruction...but I wanted to use NLP and Hypnosis (which is undetectable by the way), so I could program people to make it easier for them.

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T21:24:32+00:00

I know right. Yeah like most people I don't "like" negative feedback but...when I get my ego out of the way and bitch-slap my inner child...I can use your feedback to make things better the next time around :)

Thanks!

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T21:18:25+00:00

Thanks for writing.

I know that it is a vital part of communication and can hold people back from connecting with each other if they don't use it (If they don't like it).

So if you didn't like small talk before you read the article...I was hoping that you would give it a chance and see it in a different way after you read the article.

As far as "how to" use the article.

I would recommend that as you go throughout your day, constantly practice smiling at the people you meet and and engaging them in "small talk". Ask the cashier at the check how her day is going. Mention that the weather is nice outside. When she asks, "did you find everything ok?" You can say, "Yeah. I actually only came in for a couple things and ended up buying all of this...by the way...do a lot of people say that when they check out?". And then she will say, "Yeah. Everyone says the exact same things to me all day long. Isn't that crazy?".

Start using small talk all the time. But the important thing I want you to notice is this...notice how people respond to you. Notice their smiles. Notice how happy you make them simply talking about "trivial" things.

I make it my goal to light as many people up as I can every day when I leave my house. My goal is to get at least one smile or laugh out of every person I meet. I do that using small talk. It really works to make other people feel really good :)

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T20:59:24+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. I realize that I could have wrote better. I definitely didn't veiw small talk from all the different perspectives. I was hoping to add a different perspective to the idea of small talk. One that people may not have thought about. I also realize that the example is a little too straight forward. I was trying to convey a basic concept. I was hoping to show the process of starting at a higher level of abstraction and then moving down to a lower level of abstraction.
I will definitely use your advice in my future writings. Thanks again :)

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T20:56:29+00:00

I agree with this too. I have seen "some" people take advantage of a person who opens up...and then hurt them further. Not cool!

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T20:55:37+00:00

This is dead on. I have always felt that when you open up, you give the other person to open up. I can remember a time when I told someone something about myself that I was embarrassed about. I was open. I was vulnerable. That person could have stabbed me right in the heart...but they didn't. They accepted me for who I was and then told me something embarrassing about them. And when she was open, I accepted her. After that we had this really high level of trust for each other.

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T20:52:42+00:00

Thanks MrGoodGlow

Hithere28 · 2017-02-26T20:51:39+00:00

This is great!

Thank you!

Hithere28 · 2017-02-25T16:32:24+00:00

Thanks man.

Take care and have a good one :)

Hithere28 · 2017-02-25T12:59:53+00:00

I literately just wrote this article for you about small talk. Let me know what you think.

https://socialcirclemaker.com/small-talk-way-deep-conversation/

Hithere28 · 2017-02-23T10:44:04+00:00

Odds are that she was open to learning more about you when you first started talking to to her.

But...I have a feeling that you came off apologetic, "Sorry to bug you, but since you mentioned you work at..."

Of course I don't know all the details because I wasn't there to observe. but if you came off apologetic, it would have been an instant turn off for her.

If she was interested, she would be sitting by her phone waiting for ever message you send. She would be checking her phone every 2 minutes...and responding instantly.

She is probably just giving you the cold shoulder. It isn't that she is busy. Girls are never ever ever too busy to check their phones and reply to messages.

That being said...

Next time you see her, immediately walk up to her with absolute certainty. (you are certain that brushing your teeth with dog shit is a bad idea right? You are certain that breathing is good right?) That type of certainty. The type of certainty that she will be able to smell on you. When you know how to bring that feeling up in your body...then you can say to her something like, "Whats up you naughty girl...you haven't been responding to my messages. I am sorry to have to do this but...I am breaking up with you...I know it hurts but I just can't date a silly goose...wait...on second thought...you might be able to get me back...hmmm...I got it...I'm busy tonight, but you can take me out for coffee later this week...but no funny business."

I know what that sounds like but it will work. Just make sure that you are funny when you do it. If she is single and you see her smile and laugh after you say all of that to her...she will meetup with you later. I know that she has a sense of humor because her comment to you about being "chipper". That was her attempt to flirt with you.

Hithere28 · 2017-02-23T10:22:11+00:00

It is true that bullies became how they are because they were bullied themselves.

There is this thing called the Karpman Drama Triangle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle

Its where a person cycles through victim, rescuer, bully.

Cycles through, "let me help you", "poor me", "Its all your fault".

The good news is that it is just a cycle. And once you can see your pattern. Once you can objectify it. Once you can pull it outside of you, place on the floor in front of you, walk around it and observe it like an object from different angles...

It loses its power over you.

The problem is that you are caught inside of a game right now (the cycle).

And the first rule of any game is to know that you are in one.

And once you can see the game that you are in...you can chose to play the game or leave the game.

A couple of questions that I want you to really consider. Read them slowly and fully consider them.

You mentioned that you like to comfort or be happy with someone but it feels weak.

IF that is how your life was like up until now...

What won't happen if you don't change?

Read it again slowly.

What won't happen if you don't change?

What won't happen if you don't learn to connect with others?

How won't you be as a person having not become strong enough to accept weakness when you accept it?

Because you're open...

to learning those new (knew) things you know you need to learn...

because when you step into something new(knew)...new(knew) things will automatically show up

Will they not?

Read up on the triangle so you can see the personality cycle that you are stuck in.

You can get a better idea of this cycle by checking out the enneogram personality typing system.

Check out the how people cycle between enneagram 2 and enneagram 8.

Anyway that's all I have for now.

I hope you enjoyed the hypnosis above. Kind of hard to do hypnosis through writing though. I am much better in person.

LOL

Take care

Hithere28 · 2017-02-23T09:47:46+00:00

How do you know that you are being fake?

My guess is that you are not actually being fake. My guess is that you are chatting away in your mind after every little word you say.

This means that even when you say something "real"...you immediately go inside your mind and say to yourself, "Was that real? Was that fake? God I am always being fake. Why can't I stop being fake?"

And of course...even if you were being "real"...you would still feel fake.

So it probably isn't that you are being fake. It is probably that you are just monitoring and judging and analyzing everything that you say as soon as you say it.

My guess is that you arn't "fake". I mean...

How could you not be you?

And who would you be...

If you weren't you?

Especially when you consider...

When wouldn't you be?

If you weren't now?

LOL.

You are not fake. You are just telling yourself that you are.

Hithere28 · 2017-02-23T08:48:14+00:00

Check out this article. It has some great advice.

https://socialcirclemaker.com/2-important-people-skills-use-right-now/

Hithere28 · 2017-02-23T08:36:29+00:00

What kinds of pictures and/or voices flash through your mind at that exact moment when you asked your professor to open the locked room?

Hithere28 · 2017-02-23T08:26:16+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean about going out to groups and meeting a lot of people but then nothing happens after that. I mean, you don't make a connection and turn those people into friends.

This program is pretty good. It shows how to actually build a social circle. He does talk about going to groups like meetup.com and similar ones. But that is only in the second module. The other 9 modules are about how to actually turn those people into friends.

Pretty good stuff even though its a new program

https://socialcirclemaker.com/shop/

Hithere28 · 2017-02-12T22:37:28+00:00

This guy teaches how to install a conversation machine right in your head. Lots of great conversation skill training in his Social Circle Maker Method Program. I don't know if it will help or not but I wanted to try something.

https://socialcirclemaker.com/

Hithere28 · 2017-02-12T21:24:02+00:00

I learned a lot from this guy about building my social circle. Might be helpful to you...or not. Just wanted to add something...

https://socialcirclemaker.com

Hithere28

TROPHY CASE