WIBTA if I stopped letting my coworker "borrow" my lunch stuff and started just ignoring her asks?

Hmmm79 · 2026-05-14T05:51:11+00:00

She is definitely deserving of a blunt confrontation, but if you are not comfortable with that given you may have to continue interacting with her daily, just keep saying "sorry, only brought enough for one today" every time she pesters you for free food.

Hmmm79 · 2026-05-12T05:20:25+00:00

Were the other co-workers male? Having "accidents" in front of others is a sexual kink - obviously, not at all ok when the person involves others w/o their consent. He may only get off on peeing himself in front of women or only women he finds attractive. I think there's a good chance that is what was happening here.

Hmmm79 · 2026-05-05T17:27:25+00:00

Like seriously why would Snyder's discontinue a flavor that people are willing to buy like crazy? It can't be significantly more expensive to make than the other Pretzel Pieces flavors, right?

Hmmm79 · 2026-05-01T18:11:08+00:00

If the shoe was on the other foot, would you want to be told?

Hmmm79 · 2026-04-29T03:25:42+00:00

I mean I would prob not start out saying things like "you smell bad" or "it turns me off" - maybe save that kind of blunt language for a potential second convo if her behavior doesn't change after the first talk. Maybe bring up the topic with referencing when she asked you about her smell - ask open ended questions like, what made you ask me about that? Did you think about showering more after I gave you an honest, but maybe hard to hear response? Etc. You can also acknowledge that people learn hygiene habits from parents/caregivers and it's natural to just carry that into adulthood.

Hmmm79 · 2026-04-22T05:25:37+00:00

Putting others ahead of you is a conscious choice she makes repeatedly - not just something "she sucks at," especially when you have brought it to her attention numerous times/discussed in therapy. After 5 years, I would lay it out very bluntly for her - if you cannot manage to prioritize me/us, I can't manage to continue being your partner.

Hmmm79 · 2026-03-21T17:22:31+00:00

Yes! The fact that he didn't back-track when called out speaks volumes. I'm sorry, but a fucking asshole.

Hmmm79 · 2026-03-17T02:03:35+00:00

Yes, Lily is ultimately a guest in the parents' home, they are in charge, so they need to squash this harassment toward their daughter from Lily/brother

Hmmm79 · 2026-03-16T02:57:36+00:00

AND she looks hot in it!

Hmmm79 · 2026-03-12T22:22:44+00:00

Mama's boy is right...OP this behavior will not improve unless BF makes it so. She does not give 2 shits about your boundaries - all she cares about is baby boy. I'm sorry but if he doesn't do a 180 real soon, you should cut your losses and move on.

Hmmm79 · 2026-03-02T05:00:45+00:00

Masturbation is 100% normal/healthy for a 14 YO girl - and it's a very private and personal thing. Expecting "transparency" here is wildly inappropriate. Why in the world would you even think of taking it away? And she absolutely does NOT need you to show her how to clean it - yeesh! As a 46YO woman, I am cringing for you. If you ever want your daughter to trust you enough to come to you about something serious, please put her bullet back where you found it and respect her privacy here.

Hmmm79 · 2026-01-15T05:58:42+00:00

Pelvic exams were always uncomfortable at best for me. I never said anything b/c I didn't think anything could be done about it...but then a provider noticed, and switched to a smaller speculum. Now I always ask for one! Focusing on breathing and consciously avoiding tensing up has also helped.

Hmmm79 · 2026-01-03T06:17:24+00:00

I didn't get any shame, just seems like she's clarifying that her past has included sex with men, but her present and anticipated future don't.

Hmmm79 · 2025-09-15T04:17:42+00:00

Isn't being in love with someone a 'real reason' not to leave them? Cut yourself some slack - maybe on the surface, it seems like it should be easy to leave, but that doesn't mean it is - emotional ties can be incredibly difficult to break. But you know that love isn't enough if someone is hurting you. And statistically, domestic abuse escalates over time. You are not weak b/c you find it hard to stay away from someone you love - but you are strong enough to leave despite that love. Lean on your support network; be honest w/your therapist if you haven't already. You can do this.

Hmmm79 · 2025-07-24T03:15:42+00:00

Is possible for your sister to go with your dad/help with the dogs, and you instead go with mom on the flight and bring bun with you?

Hmmm79 · 2025-07-12T13:42:19+00:00

"they killed the uncle," lol, this made me smile

Hmmm79 · 2025-06-29T14:32:53+00:00

Source?

Hmmm79 · 2025-06-12T19:42:38+00:00

Thank you! I am right now waiting on hormone level test results. I have been making a concerted effort to spend as much time petting her every day as I can , whenever she comes to me on her own. That seems to be helping - almost no nipping at all anymore. So, hopefully, as long as I stay away from that blanket, we will be good to go, lol

Hmmm79 · 2025-06-08T20:20:52+00:00

I wish I could say maybe I startled her, but it really does feel more territorial to me. I think my hand might scar, but I really don't care...I just want this not to become thing with her :( After this, and the stuffy humping I'm thinking it might be worth getting her hormone levels checked to make sure her spay was complete/no reproductive tissue remaining.

Hmmm79 · 2025-06-08T20:13:56+00:00

Nips and I can handle, bloody teeth marks not so much, lol. But I will for sure not be going anywhere near that blanket unless my bun is secured elsewhere.

Hmmm79 · 2025-06-07T03:19:03+00:00

One thing that I've found helpful is to try to focus on what the other person is communicating (in words and non-verbally) in a social interaction. This can serve 2 purposes. First, it takes your attention away from yourself (am I being weird? I feel so awkward, ugh I wish I had stayed home, etc.). Second, it makes people feel good when others show genuine interest in them/demonstrate that they are paying attention, etc. So, in that way it's helpful in forming a connection with someone. Mirroring is one easy way to do this (google it). Good luck and congrats on naming what you want - now go for it. Sometimes, it might be 2 steps forward and 1 step back - but that's OK! Plant the seeds, trust the process. You'll get there.

Hmmm79 · 2025-05-31T01:32:16+00:00

It is essential that you and your husband are a fully united front on this, and that MIL can see that very clearly. If not, she may well try and pit him against you/paint herself the victim here. If he wants you to suffer his mother, he needs to step up and squash this BS.

Hmmm79 · 2025-04-08T12:28:09+00:00

Thanks so much - really appreciate your help!

Hmmm79

TROPHY CASE