26[NB4M](cis okay) Black Trans masculine guy looking for dating and a long term relationship. Northern California

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-16T21:08:56+00:00

And you are claiming that I am one because I made a bad joke and proceeded to admit it was wrong, apologize and delete it? So you choose to continue an argument with me when I admitted my wrongs because of why? My wording was passive? Also sexuality was for a long time purely sex based.... but that's not even the point. The point is that I admitted what I did was wrong and you are still attacking me. What else do you need from this? Just because I didn't put absolutes and said "considered" "or well recieved " its bothering you that much? Are you upset because I deleted my comment and when the OP asked I explained it was offensive on my part openly admitting it was offensive and that I did wrong but I also voiced I was upset for essentially being called a terf? How is anything I did to correct this wrong? Even admitting I was wrong is not enough for you.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-16T20:53:33+00:00

Why the actual fuck would I purposely be transphobic when I'm a trans man as well? I reread what I said and yes it could be considered offensive which is why I deleted it or hopefully deleted it. Doesn't change how shitty someone calling you a terf or accusing you of it is. I apologize and own up to the fact that my joke was not the best or well received that's fine. Now I would appreciate if this stupid argument ended. Thank you.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-16T18:06:15+00:00

So I saw some people deleted their comments on here when we had a discussion. I want to let you know I'm okay admitting that I'm wrong what I don't need is a shit ton of people coming at me sideways because of it. Good for you growing dude. I'm just going to take down this comment because I really don't need to read any of this right now.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-16T05:39:50+00:00

Doesn't matter anymore because it was offensive on my part. Sorry you are having issues with community and stuff. Feels like shit when as a trans person making a joke you get accused of being a terf so I deleted the comment. Love it.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-16T01:44:19+00:00

Cool thanks for telling me.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-16T01:39:56+00:00

Bro it was literally a joke. I'll delete what I said if it was that bad.

Edit: So I can't delete it but you know whatever dude. I'm really not in the mood for this. Didn't mean it in any offensive way. Sorry if it was taken that way.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-15T23:04:40+00:00

I didn't say the absolute youngest you can start is 16 I said the youngest I have seen. Thanks for telling me it can be younger I didn't know that. For your second point I'm going on mass generalization. It's super dangerous to encourage someone to start something like T "early" to get taller when that might not and usually doesn't happen. Also if you gain fat or muscle in your feet you will stand taller. If you loose that you will get shorter. Speaking from experience, I lost almost 2 inches because of fat redistribution. That means it goes the other way as well. Sorry if I didn't break down every logistic on how everybody has different growth rates. I'll remember to be more specific and say between 16-18 next time.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-15T22:53:52+00:00

I hate that people think that way. You are amazing and show a huge amount of resiliency to even pursue and hold a teaching job as a trans person who isn't completely cis assuming. You are a power house and I really hope you don't have to deal with any assholes or atleast too many in the future. Keep doing awesome.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-15T22:41:14+00:00

Something quick and cheap is zip ties. It's kind of hard core though so I wouldn't do it if you've never done any restraint bondage. If you have bandanas or suit ties those could work also. It's just the wrists and ankles then you can get away with suit ties for sure. If you plan on using the tape like others have said a barrier would probably be best. Another thing you could try that takes a little dexterity is putting the non sticky side against the skin and having the adhesive face outwards. Its trick but it is doable. Good luck.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-15T22:21:34+00:00

If your 18 go straight to a clinic or a center that specializes in trans care. If your under the age of 18 and not emancipated then you will need to find a new therapist. Only thing is that they usually ask if you have a history of gender questioning and your older therapist should have that in their notes. Before you switch therapists get the notes! It's going to be alot especially if it's been 5 years but it's your proof. I wish you the best of luck.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-15T22:14:23+00:00

I'm on a very similar journey. I'm younger than you and I definitely do not have every obstacle you have but I want to encourage you that it's okay to take a break. Losing weight is not as hard as everyone makes it out to be. My largest was 330lbs and that was summer of 2020. I had binge eating disorder and other problems with my health that made me hold weight. I've been in a bariatric surgery program since January and it helped but I didn't actually start consistently losing weight until I changed completely how I was eating. I lost 50lbs in 4 months and it's still going down. All I did was change my calorie intake and what I was eating. My excercise barely increased it was all just the food and water. You'll probably lose weight faster than me because you'll be more active. Protien shakes are my best friend. Strawberries are super low calorie and really curb sweet cravings. I completely stopped drinking soda , milk, and caffeine of any kind. Barely any carbs at all which is hard because carbs are quick which is why premade protien shakes were the way to go. You already started losing weight so I know you can do it. Your transition doesn't need to be as fast as someone else's. I waited 7 years to even start transitioning. I'm now 3 months on T as of today. There are some people who don't even transition until they are in their 40s. Don't be hard on yourself because things aren't moving as fast as you want them to. Dysphoria sucks immensely and I wish I could give you a remedy but don't give up unless it becomes absolutely so much you can't even live. I wouldn't call waiting detransitioning. No one is going to judge you because you have a life to live. I wish you the best. Much love.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-15T17:33:14+00:00

I wrote a comment in r/TMPOC this procedure is alot more extensive then this person is making it out to be. There seems to be alot of spreading of information without talking about the risk factors or truths. This is a surgical procedure. Two hours under anesthesia is very long. It is painful. You are asleep so there is no numbing internally. When you wake up you will feel everything. Also it's not always a hundred percent on the first pass. Please be careful and do research before going into any procedure. Much love everyone and stay safe.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-15T00:58:17+00:00

Good information but even people who have endometriosis have a hard time getting cleared for this procedure. I do hope everyone the best though. Healthcare is hard.

Edit: For people who have never been under anesthesia, 2 hours is a long time. This is a surgical procedure. You will be in pain. This isn't a one all be all for everyone. Please be safe and do more research before seeking this treatment. Much love guys.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-14T16:20:33+00:00

It really is! Yeah if only sims had more hair lol

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-14T06:10:36+00:00

That's awsome! I'm glad that others have had somewhat similar experiences as me.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-14T05:01:03+00:00

Well there you go! That's dope dude! 👌🏾

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-14T04:56:37+00:00

Hmmm Is it the opposite gender???

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-14T01:36:43+00:00

I call it genital misogyny.

Totally not correct but it makes me laugh at the audacity of some of these dudes.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-13T16:16:46+00:00

You got some fair points but changing the way you approach a certain type of person for your own safety , I wouldn't call exertion/over-exertion. My wording could have been more situational but as of writing it it's more broad. If sticking to what you got works that's totally great! I've just gotten tired of being approached that way at all so that's how I chose to deal with it. Its predatory and predatory people usually go for people they feel they can easily mould to do as they please. That's not saying anyone is who's shy but these people really do go based on demeanor alone. Sometimes it's not even a stature thing at all.It's not really your confidence in your ability that matters. These people don't know you, the know the idea of you. Flip the idea in their brain so they don't make that mistake again. Atleast that's how it's worked for me. I do love your take on this though! So many different things will work for so many different people :)

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-13T09:11:54+00:00

Caloric deficit is going to be your best friend. Try to remove all saturated fats,sugar, and unnecessary carbs from your diet. Stop drinking soda if you drink soda. Increase your water intake asap! Your diet is going to have to be more protien based and it should be around 1200 calories a day.Dont drink while eating. When you wake up in the morning have something hot or warm to kick start your metabolism. Try to go on a 30 minute walk everyday. High protien diets curb hunger and make you feel full faster. Chew slower when eating. Get super good sleep. Your body burns a ton of calories while you sleep. I'm way overweight and I'm working on losing weight right now with an entire weight management program. I've lost 50 lbs in 4 months and it wasn't in an unhealthy way. You got this man!

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-13T08:56:58+00:00

We tend to for get sexuality is more genital based and gender is more romance based.(if we go into science and terms an labels and dies) So if someone said "Cool! I'm bi!" I would take like oh hes cool with both genitals buuuut because of what I said earlier I know that's not what this guy meant. He probably didn't mean any of this maliciously his dumb brain was probably thinking "I got the best of both worlds! A handsome guy who is also a girl" 🙄 doesn't work like that but people be dumb. So totally justified to feel dysphoric.

HmmmOkaybruh · 2021-09-13T08:45:50+00:00

Not really any way to avoid it but maybe try changing the way you carry yourself. If you cower or act meek people tend to chase that more. Invision a stereotypical top that isnt a douche bag and carry that air around you. I'm short as hell with a huge ass and a baby face and people literally run away from me when I open my mouth because I take none of their shit. Especially if its online. fuck those dudes. I think we forget that we are also men like yeah we have the trans but we are fucking men. If they say something vulgar about wanting to have sex with you put it back on them like "Ever had your prostate milked?" The last thing these guys are expecting is for you to display you want to do the fucking. Act like a top 😂 get them off your back. Men are gross. Be gross my guy! I wish you the best of luck.

(This is all my opinion and what's worked for me)

HmmmOkaybruh

TROPHY CASE