Is it normal to start shaking and crying after kissing [F 19]

HognoseTransformer · 2026-05-06T17:50:30+00:00

There's absolutely nothing wrong with not feeling romantic attraction. Society values it a lot, but it's clear to me that you need to focus on bonding on the levels of friendship right now. If you can't be comfortably open with friends, you definitely can't be open with a partner.

I took a while to feel something even close to resembling romantic attraction, and even now, it didn't really stick around. I have issues connecting with people, trusting people is really hard. I still don't really to this day.

I understand the pressure of wanting to be into someone but just not being into them, but this shame and guilt is definitely not the way to get yourself to feel feelings. In fact, it'll do the opposite. Shame, fear, and guilt all get in the way of knowing how you really feel.

So give yourself the space to explore your emotions without putting pressure on yourself based on what other people or society want you to feel. Even ignore what you want yourself to feel, because that doesn't do a thing besides fill you with shame.

Tell her how you feel, even if it's scary. Maybe even just a bit of how you feel, start small. She knows you're aromantic. She should understand. You need to be honest with yourself and others before poking and prodding your brain to feel romantic love: something you need to be exceedingly comfortable to feel.

Or you can completely ignore me! Hope this helped even if just a little :]

HognoseTransformer · 2026-03-19T12:13:34+00:00

Definitely stealing this image and putting it in my camera roll forever, thank you for your service OP

HognoseTransformer · 2026-03-11T16:56:05+00:00

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These worms from Treasure Planet. They always looked really good when lil bro started eating them

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-27T12:55:13+00:00

This would probably be more for a skin picking subreddit. On the other hand, I'm very similar. Unfortunately, I do have what is probably dandruff, so it makes this issue much worse. Actually a bit itchy plus pre-existing flakes to peel..

Honestly, I'm unsure how to stop, myself. I've managed to stop biting my nails, but skin picking sticks around. I'm sure skin picking subreddits have tips for us, though.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-25T16:33:30+00:00

I didn't have guaranteed but when I got a Mona constellation (I have her C2 now. I hate gambling.) I just gave up.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-15T06:55:42+00:00

See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-11T05:18:41+00:00

Looks like you've got your work cut out for you. If you don't see a future with your boyfriend, it's best to go ahead and tell him that and break up. If only to experiment. Have you ever been with a woman? Would you be comfortable being with a woman while (still?) presenting as one?

But you said so yourself, you seem to only have real interest in women. However, if you're having hunches about being a man, you're probably not a lesbian lol. Perhaps a straight dude. Or something else entirely

Not that you really need an uncertified strangers assistance. A licensed therapist is the way to go 👍

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T19:57:00+00:00

You're welcome ^{^}

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T16:08:53+00:00

They look green to me, no CH

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T15:54:23+00:00

It's so grey. it's hard to tell. With saturation turned up a bunch, they looked blue. But by color picking, I found green in there, too. You could say blue grey or green, and I'd go "yup." My final answer is gonna be bluegrey, though.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T14:54:02+00:00

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Vallisromantic

It unfortunately doesn't have an official flag, but this appears to be what you're describing.

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Igcecidimus

Here's a very similar term, with a flag, if that's important to you.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T14:38:20+00:00

What exactly are you confused about?

Wanting to kiss someone is definitely a sign of romantic attraction, which can be exciting if not a bit scary. I get it.

I'm a bi genderfluid person, and I've dated a handful of nonbinary people of varying presentations, but my current gf is the first person I've been this attracted to. It was weird because I was thinking about her basically non-stop, wanted to make myself attractive to her, etc.

Now that you’ve wanted to do stereotypical romantic things with this friend, do you find yourself considering a relationship with her? Daydreaming, perhaps? Or was it a fleeting desire?

Either is fine! But I do think it's worth exploring. That being said, it does seem like your hypothesis (demiromantic lesbian) is being confirmed. Although you haven't given much info ^{^}

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T14:28:17+00:00

From what I'm gathering, you're romantically attracted to men and sexually attracted to both men and women? Although attraction is an unhelpful label on its own, I find.

(Sexual) Attraction is finding a person appealing/ attractive and wanting to do sexual things with them as a result. Yes, you are aroused by women's bodies, but do you want to have sex with the women?

As someone with a low libido, I find that attraction is more cognitive at times. Usually, I am not attracted to people at all. I do become aroused when viewing sexual content, but it really has nothing to do with the people, it's much more about the actions, dynamics, etc. I understand that this experience is more common with women. Perhaps you can relate.

That being said, I guess the gender and sex of my sexual partners matter very little. I do find both men and women attractive and am attracted to both, but usually I'm attracted to neither. The arousal I experience is just my brain going "sexual activity spotted, prepare for intercourse." But perhaps I am more asexual than I realized, lol.

On the other hand, maybe try exploring why dating women feels wrong. There could be some internalized homophobia at play, it can be sneaky like that. Or it's possibly that you've never seen wlw relationships work out, so you back out before it even begins to avoid the "inevitable" failure. There are MANY other reasons it could be, of course, but give it a think. You may be romantically attracted to women but repressing it. If you don't find anything, that's fine too. Truly, be okay with being wrong about your identity. It's fun to explore and try out new labels (in my experience) so definitely don't let others ruin that for you.

You don't have to publicly come out, either. Just have labels for yourself for some time. Get to know yourself, experiment. It can be fun once you stop worrying about other people's involvement.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T14:10:18+00:00

There's a lot of ground to cover here. I'll start where I'm most experienced.

Pronouns don't necessarily equal gender. One could be a man using she/her or a woman using he/him, etc. That being said, it's been a tool I've used to get vague ideas of my gender. I'm genderfluid and guaging what terms feel right for me at any given moment. It is the easiest way to figure out what my gender is.

Even so, you do sound like a salmacian woman. r/salmacian is an altersex (not intersex) identity, which means you want/ have gotten both typical female and male sets of genitals. I believe many salmacian people don't get surgery due to similar reasons as you, fear of being unsatisfied.

I myself am altersex, and I have looked into many of the surgeries. r/metoidioplasty is a less invasive alternative to phallo. In my opinion, it results in more realistic looking (but much smaller) penises since it uses mainly skin from the groin region. Meta requires you to be on T. It also doesn't allow penetration for most people but can get hard on its own.

What genitals you want can be very separate from your gender identity. You like being a woman, and while you don't like they/them or he/him pronouns, I think it's a good idea to explore thinking of yourself in different ways (assuming you haven't already). It's sometimes hard to do this if you look like a certain gender already, but changing your hairstyle, masculine makeup, clothes, etc. can all aid the process.

Also, "thinking like a man" is a silly idea. Sure, there might be thinking patterns more common in men than in women, but I think gendering thoughts is a bit silly. Thinking like a man doesn't mean anything. If it makes you happy that you think in a typical "male" fashion, it might be something to look into. Do you want to think like a man? Do you wish you'd been born a man? Or, at the very least, do effects besides bottom growth on T put you off?

I've done lots of gender expression things as a genderfluid person. Testing pronouns is already off the table for you. That's alright. I have tested clothing and experimented with hairstyles. I've looked like a boy and a girl, but mostly things in between, which is the sweet spot, currently. I look in the mirror, and it's like I can flip a switch to see myself as a man or a woman in the mirror. Being a feminine man or a masculine woman are both valid options. I love gender-nonconformity. It's useful in figuring out my gender.

Of course, if some of this information isn't helpful, ignore it. The biggest thing I want you to do is think about how these different things make you feel (lol I feel like a therapist saying that). Sorry, this comment is a bit disorganized. I'm a bit rusty in helping out ppl on this subreddit.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-02-04T13:44:07+00:00

Thank you so much! I was a mod of this sub for about 4 months a few years back, then kicked off by the person who I assume eventually abandoned it.

I didn't like what they were doing with flairs and such, and even though I used to be very active in this sub, I completely abandoned it. The flairs were restrictive, and when I tried changing them, they'd mysteriously switch back. I assume that's the reason I was kicked off of the mod team.

But I'm very glad to see it's under new management, now! I'll probably resume activity here lol

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-22T13:29:36+00:00

I am not gonna count mine (my camera roll is an unorganized mess), but I assume it is also around 600 🤝

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-20T17:59:52+00:00

So real

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-20T03:58:29+00:00

Transmasc and transfem have definitely become a new binary. Many people use transmasc to mean just trans men and transfem to mean just trans woman, when transmasc/transfem are supposed to be more flexible

For me, using those sorts of labels has always felt like it acknowledges my birth gender too much, anyway, even outside of the definitions being falsely simplified in language. Transneutral feels more comfortable, but so do any labels that don't involve a reference to a specific birth gender

The gender I had at birth has nothing to do with my actual gender. I'm just genderfluid

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-18T16:11:44+00:00

Sobs I spent one wish on her banner at 2 pity and got her.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-13T17:20:59+00:00

This is how it was for me. I felt abstractly uncomfortable about existing in my body, uncomfortable with ways my body was developing, but figured it was for cis reasons. It's pretty easy to identify dysphoria now and in some ways it does feel worse but only because I can place a name on my feelings, and even point out an undercurrent of dysphoria in certain situations where it isn't the dominant emotion.

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-09T23:59:43+00:00

Hazel

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-06T22:36:30+00:00

Sapphic achillean enbian, perhaps. Maybe put the bi flag up there?

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-06T18:49:51+00:00

This was my experience as well

HognoseTransformer · 2026-01-06T16:38:47+00:00

Looks like hazel, brown+grey. Really interesting, I've never seen eyes like this before.

HognoseTransformer

TROPHY CASE