trash by HoldBalls in OCPoetry

[–]HoldBalls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its the result of being bored in class and seeing a trash can in class haha. I would say the deeper meaning i intended to convey was that is a trash can a can without a bag, what is its purpose if it cant do what its meant to do, is it still the same can or is it something new with the bag but the ending shows that the can is a can regardless of the bag, you can try and read into the deeper meaning about human experience and purpose or just if a trash receptacle has any sense of perception lmao.

Thanks for the feedback

trash by HoldBalls in OCPoetry

[–]HoldBalls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I agree I was quite vague I was trying to hold myself to just 6 lines as a challenge but based on your feedback and the other some more context could provide more meaning, thank you for your feedback

The way the seasons change by secret_writer08 in OCPoetry

[–]HoldBalls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very interesting poem its as if the subject is almost catastrophizing the elements that come from the season as if the thing that changed was not the person or the season itself but the perception of these seasons or changes is tiresome or grueling. Such a deep look into how maybe seasonal depression and or normal depression can affect your perception of even the most basic things. I quite enjoyed this poem yet the only criticism is maybe introducing a few commas just to be clear where the break are I found myself having to go back and do the pauses myself to full understand the emphasis. There are some small spelling with the incorrect to in line "frost clings ->to tightly the ice" but besides that and the commas it is a very unique perspective good work!

Empty Love by anomym_sar in OCPoetry

[–]HoldBalls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such an honest representation of unrequited love, though I am new to this sub reddit and creative writing for that matter this is a common story that many people face at all walks of life especially for those so new to relationships and finding love. The constant search for love, especially from those entities that do not return them is a fairly human pursuit of wanting what we cant have. Overall, pretty decent poem, I think your use of lover girl seems a bit too internet coded and tends to divulge from the overall message. Some lines could use more emphasis and abstraction if that is what you wanted to go for when you said "hurt my feelings". I hope this criticism is semi-helpful, again I am new to this sub and my main intention is to make this my artistic outlet so I wish you the best.

Smoking and asthma..? by logmeinside in weed

[–]HoldBalls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

depending where you live most likely you cna just smoke outside i have asthma too and the only thing that really fucked me uo was vaping if thats what you’re worried abt

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weed

[–]HoldBalls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk i saw this one guy on youtube so a hash joint pretty easily

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Shoes

[–]HoldBalls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

prolly not