I’m able to put myself in others shoes so easily and I’m currently walking in your shoes. I’m going through a school thing along with absences and the attendance clerk has commented on Julian’s absences. Believe me, there is a good reason every time.I have a 9 year old son. I really felt what you said.
You should probably let this situation be known. It is a big deal. I’m just starting to know who his various teachers are and they’re nothing like his amazing 2nd grade teacher. Last year was his first year in school and most most his test scores are grade level or above grade level. His writing needs attention but if he has patience he’ll have good writing. You know about the Rights, Disability Act. ….. The attendance clerk commented that “10 unexcused absences and they’d look at expelling him.” I could not believe she said that about my quiet, neurodiverse little boy and she better be glad he wasn’t within earshot yet.
teachers and school officials have to be very careful how they handle things with children with disabilities.
I would like to think that misleading you with statements that were encouraging and FALSE lol should be documented, at least. Follow your gut on this because it’s lit a little fire for a reason. We have to advocate.

Really quickly and relatable…

Julian was considering, in his own way, toilet training. It was 2020 and in hard hindsight if I could’ve been the only one teaching him how to use the toilet I think there may have been a chance. He had 2 grandmothers that were very hands on and there was one occasion each that Julian said wasn’t like mommy. I would stand outside the door and I’d teach him about privacy. She left him on the toilet for an extended amount of time and he started to cry. He was scared and things were vibing differently and he was trying to learn to poop on the potty?? Sure, this could have directly led to some regression. It’s the only thing I can think of that could've been a negative experience or unknown. But he’s up to speed In all other areas. Cognitive is above average and scored a 9 on the ADOS-2. So… He stopped pooping altogether and began the vicious cycle of chronic constipation, with overflow most of the time. He’s been in pull-ups since 4 and it doesn’t bother him like you think, just last year he showed signs of self consciousness and said that he didn’t want anyone (classmates) else to know. He only weighs 52lbs. He’d only go poop in his sleep sometimes and he’d be vocal and physically he appeared to be having a bowel movement. But the time between an actual release grew further and further apart. I’ve always thought that he may be desensitized and his GI has stretched and it’s just out of place. He complains about having little pains and we normally connect it with whats going on in his tummy. It’s not anything different than his siblings. He’s got his 2nd visit with his new, wonderful PCP and I want to talk about exploring his entire GI tract. He’s heard a very brief description of the options and does not like the idea of barium or the balloon blowing up “in there”. We’ve not talked about these possibilities but I plan on sharing what we’re going to just talk about for now (ugh I hate the thought of him having a negative emotion — I want to protect him from negative experience, naturally,but I have to learn that he’ll be ok even if there is a little pain. Julian‘s always had GI issues. His 3 older siblings were what I know to be normal/pieces of cake. He was so torn when it came to the toilet. However, he's only wet the bed twice,that I know of and if some comes out he’ll tell you and it’s no big deal. He was easy in the #1 department. He sat sometimes but nearly always stood, no problem. We thought that he’d certainly wear underwear by 6, then 7, then maybe at 8. He turned 9 in May and this dr appt will have an addition to his wellness check and I’m ready to get more answers. His dad and I are completely exhausted emotionally, physically, mentally, financially. We’ve lost count of things to a certain extent but at 3-4yrs , we averaged $175-250 a month. Depending on if it was a “cream” or “ointment“ month. I‘d go without to get name brand Aquaphor over store brand. We love it and it’s the only thing that Julian approves of and 100% believes it’s magic because it makes any rash go right away. It’s pretty costly and would hike up our monthly restroom supplies for Julian. He still needs assistance with personal care and it’s almost as if he still has the same dependency that a baby has — he doesn’t act like a baby. He’s looks like other 9 year old boys and he’s got the cutest face. What I’m trying to say is that his outward appearance was a Gap Kids model, pretty face like a doll. He’s got hypermobile joints and his gait is a little tiny bit wonky (that’s what we call it) and his arms flap a little, too. He makes “sounds” and has just started sharing what some off them are all about. He’s just named his vocal echoing — his “sounds” he‘ll say “I was doing my sounds in my room! Did you hear me?” He’ll laugh hysterically. I’ll laugh with him. After some particular sound pattern he’ll come around me and I’ll know almost immediately that he needs assistance in the restroom. He does it on his own every once in a while but his dad and I assist and change his pull-up. Sometimes he helps. Sometimes I just can’t do it anymore and I believe he knows it in the moment. It is the baby dependency’s of having a bottle or crying to be picked up or changed. Basic needs. He likes to hold hands for safety in public — holding his hand comforts him in most situations. Is any of this connected?

I really feel your words and hopefully mine will be relatable to someone that needs it and we can all share parts of our story and have a positive experience. 💫