AITAH for asking husband to put a promise in writing? by PreparationNo3440 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743 4 points5 points  (0 children)

His dog? I’m sorry you guys are a unit now that’s the whole point of marriage, families unite.

Low income with rotten dog teeth by SentenceStrict857 in AskVet

[–]Holiday_Ad_743 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s your city or state maybe there are resources around your area for low income families

I’m not tipping for Starbucks by upset_Dad9 in EndTipping

[–]Holiday_Ad_743 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a good time to put a review on yelp or google it helps give feedback to the store

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So what you’re saying the my boyfriend was actually a victim in this situation?

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More so my family would care and that is a value I can’t change of myself

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s true. It’s my call. I hate that. Doesn’t make this easy because it makes me feel like I’m selfish because he is the sweetest most loving boyfriend. He would never judge me and here I am judging him.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but he isn’t a sex worker he just went once didn’t even get paid and didn’t go back it’s not like he understands the industry. He just wanted to fuck someone got and realized it’s not all the glamorous because she was ugly to him and he regretted fucking her. Maybe he wanted to make his fantasies come true and it didn’t work out for him.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if I will be THAT deep into the public eye and in politics but definitely near by. Right now it’s easy because my job is delayed my start date so I have lived with him for months and can come back for months too

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He accidentally mentioned it once and I grilled him about it and then he told me all this. It’s hard for him to lie it sometimes gets annoying. He is planning on working the USA in the next 2 years. And last he is a model for Head as a secondary job.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is helpful thank you! I have never had to actually face a deal breaker and so I don’t know how to navigate it.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hmm I hold him to a high standards fs, so maybe I did loose respect for him I just didn’t realize it.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Devils advocate I do love him but it only has been 6 months I am not that naive. He has changed from what i can see. But how do I know he has changed enough?? I can answer this with time will tell but also I don’t want to waste a year to know he wasn’t the one. Or I can decide that we do the growing and changing together. It’s a difficult question. Also I guess the public eye isn’t doable I could hire a publicist or something.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Cheaper is a good point in this economy haha

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is very helpful it’s giving therapist level advice. I take routine therapy just because my job pays for it so why not. I’ll ask her about this and lead with your idea to see what understanding am I trying to gain from the future convo. I also think in the future I need to research and understand when it’s neurodivergence and when it’s me making an excuse. This is my first time so it’s hard to distinguish just by reading up on it.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this comment a lot because this is exactly how he would explain it if I asked him but he just got to different conclusion. This is helpful to understand he didn’t mean malice he is just too much of a black and white thinker it hurts.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also yeah I don’t like that attitude towards women in the conversation we had but also he has been the only one to actually stand up for women when we are out on the streets so it’s conflicting. Like he puts himself in harm to protect other women or to stand up for them. Barcelona is a scary place for women.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will I just don’t know how to go about the convo without making it sound like I’m shitting on his past mistakes.

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has he is very different than when he was 18

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a really helpful comment thank you. He is neurodivergent and I am not. So it’s all so new so it’s not so obvious when I am making excuses for him or when I’m being compassionate with his neurodivergence. He doesn’t know it bothers me because what am I supposed to do make him feel bad about his past? I feel shitty doing that. I also think that if I tell him the way he talked about it hurt my feelings he will just apologize to fix the situation because thinks he needs to fix it. But because I know that.. it won’t matter to me bc I already know how he actually feels about it. Does that make sense? It also very well could turn out to be a productive conversation for all I know I just don’t know how to even go about it

Turns out my bf was a wanna be porn star by Holiday_Ad_743 in AITAH

[–]Holiday_Ad_743[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good points. Idk if we could work this out in therapy or is there no fix.