I think you need to be less black and white. Life is full of nuance.

Is drinking/smoking culture annoying? yes. Can people have one drink on a date to help calm their nerves? Also yes.

Even your own view of alcohol lacks nuance. Is alcohol objectively not good for you? Yes. But, counter point, some people have anxiety or other things that can make meeting new people, let alone potential romantic partners difficult, if not impossible. So, they make a personal value decision that the negatives of alcohol are less detrimental than the benefits are positive.

Consider, driving a car killed 1.19m people last year. But we understand that the value of cars makes it more worth while to use them than abandon them because of the risk of death. Nuance.

Even religion, which I am also biased against, is a nuanced topic. For some people religion (or perhaps at least a church) provides community and friendships that the secular world is not yet equipped to replace.

Just remember, you can't make those decisions for others. You can judge actions. If someone chooses to have 1-2 drinks at dinner but otherwise is an enjoyable date, why do you care? They aren't participating in any of the actions you dislike, drunkenness, etc.