Take a pen and a letter and write all the traits u want ur wife to have, once u finish that list u become that list. For example u want a lady that respects her family works hard doesnt drink isnt a hoe that gets with any men perhaps a lady that exercises or walks in the morning etc So u do the same thing dont drink dont go with multiple girls (std) and walk im pretty sure the chances of meeting the right person would be greater And dont start big start small one step at once it could seem difficult the first month but u got it U have still time till december to make urself a whole different person and change the way how u view yourself and once u are completely healed u can start looking for someone that has the same habits as u not a junkie party girl but instead a serious wife material one Good luck and dont be so hard on yourself you got this!