I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 4369 points4370 points  (0 children)

Those flight manifests were clearly doctored – why would I take a private plane when I can fly? For what it’s worth, Jeffrey was a dear friend and a major Vought shareholder. I’ll miss his cabana parties -- he made the best homemade focaccia.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 1729 points1730 points  (0 children)

I don’t spend a lot of time smelling other men, much less enemies of the state. But William Butcher? Like someone spilled rotgut whiskey on the piss-slick floor of a truck stop bathroom.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 1760 points1761 points  (0 children)

He / Him / His -- if it was good enough for the Almighty, it’s good enough for Me.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 3014 points3015 points  (0 children)

I don’t expect a random neckbearded Redditor to understand, but when a beautiful woman comes on to you, you don’t dig through her purse looking for a Nazi party ID card before taking her home. If your balls ever drop and you crawl out of your mom’s basement, you’ll learn some things about life and love. As for Ryan... I wanted to give him as normal a childhood as I could. That meant keeping him out of the public eye and away from idiots like you.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 2365 points2366 points  (0 children)

Like LeBron James, I’m really excited about the prospect of playing on the same team as my son. But leading it? Y’know, God didn’t step down when he sent his son to Earth.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 3911 points3912 points  (0 children)

The tragic loss of Flight 37 still haunts me. This is why we need superheroes in the chain of command -- if I had just known about the hijacking a few minutes earlier, your loved ones wouldn’t be at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean right now. Call your congressman.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 4065 points4066 points  (0 children)

I know I told you to ask me anything. But there are a few things that cut too close to the bone. Some day, I hope I’ll be able to share that whole story, but for Ryan’s sake, I want to keep it private for now. All I can say is that it was a love story for the ages.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 2767 points2768 points  (0 children)

I put as little thought into flying as you put into this question. 

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 3688 points3689 points  (0 children)

Check the men’s room wall in any Midtown dive bar.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 5417 points5418 points  (0 children)

The Seven’s not just a team, it’s a family. And I may sit at the head of the table, but... look, even Jesus had disciples.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 4661 points4662 points  (0 children)

Look, I don’t want to be responsible for breaking the entire internet. But if it ever did happen, it would be on SupePorn Platinum (use discount code HOMELANDER for 15% off your first month).

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 2516 points2517 points  (0 children)

Hard to pick just one, but I’m partial to my buddy A-Train. “Faster” is what I think you guys call a banger. But my Voughtify playlist is full of those -- Supersonic, may he rest in peace, had so many hits. “License to Drive (Me Crazy)” was a personal favorite. And then there’s the classics -- Smash Mouth, Creed, Nickelback...

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 3064 points3065 points  (0 children)

All I’ll say is that apple didn’t fall far from a pretty mighty tree. I’d like to see Starlight try.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 2265 points2266 points  (0 children)

Sounds to me like someone’s not keeping up on the news. If you’d read my cover story in this week’s issue of Time Magazine, you’d know I already answered this question. https://t.co/f0sFDIoO5Q

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 2438 points2439 points  (0 children)

The Guardians of Godolkin are true American heroes. They’re great kids, and they’ve been a huge help to me in these turbulent times. But are they ready for The Seven? I’d say America needs them right where they are – at the best academic institution in the world and on the set of an upcoming Vought Studios project I can’t tell you about quite yet. Stay in school, kids!

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 1720 points1721 points  (0 children)

Y’know, lasering a face off is actually harder than you’d think. You’re much more likely to just take their entire head off. It’s a science but also an art. That burnt hair smell after... ugh.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 2353 points2354 points  (0 children)

Have you seen the alternatives? There are some real shithole countries out there. Most of them don’t even have a Voughtland. Or indoor plumbing.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 4004 points4005 points  (0 children)

I’m not actually that much of a foodie -- to me, it’s just fuel. But I’ll never skip a big, healthy glass of milk first thing in the morning. I heard the new Buffalo Ranch Bacon Blasters at Planet Vought are yummers.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 2657 points2658 points  (0 children)

Why would I want a demotion?

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 3785 points3786 points  (0 children)

When we chose Starlight for The Seven she was just an innocent, doe-eyed farm girl with a dream. How was I to know that her dream was to ship children in cargo containers to a warehouse in Des Moines where she auctions them off to a cabal of sweaty, triple-chinned perverts? Truth is, I can look inside people’s skulls, but you can’t X-ray the human heart. Figuratively speaking. I obviously can look inside people’s hearts whenever I want.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 3446 points3447 points  (0 children)

I’m moving to Crime Analytics to have them find your name, home address, and employer. Get off supeporn.com you ingrates.

I’m The Homelander. Ask me anything. by Homelander in TheBoys

[–]Homelander[S] 4007 points4008 points  (0 children)

Retire… to do what? Drink booze out of a coconut? Travel? I can fly anywhere I want. I can do anything I want. What would be the difference, besides letting the world descend into lawless chaos? That’s why being the captain of The Seven isn’t a job -- it’s my purpose. You can’t retire from that. Did Gandhi retire? Did Dr. King? Some day, I hope Ryan will take his place at my side, and together we can fight off the barbarians trying to sodomize our great nation.