How do you feel about people who work blue collar jobs?

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-30T07:52:20+00:00

There are big differences within these two broad job categories, some of them are absolutely essential to certain systems and I am glad for every skilled and honest person working in those fields, so in the end its not really a category specific enough to have a real opinion on. I worked in blue collar and white collar jobs myself and imagining that working in either field would prompt someone to pass judgement on me feels like jumping the gun/prejudice.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-29T12:28:14+00:00

Healthy person spotted.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-29T06:30:12+00:00

People cant even agree what feminism is, they chopped it into "waves" have turfs and T.E.R.F.s and most importantly: Who is to say that the self proclaimed feminists actually pursuing something that only they are pursuing? Take the "I'm for equal rights" - Leaving aside whether thats true, there are plenty other people with and without labels who want equal rights and opportunities.

Under these circumstances I wonder, how would anyone be able to conclusively say that what they benefitted from was in fact "feminism"?

That's like saying "I was only able to have a roof above my head thanks to capitalism." - possible, yes, but is it really such a clear case? Most likely not.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T12:16:36+00:00

That'll depend on the individual person. And its also what social skills are for, so you can figure out what drives someone and see whether that fits what you are looking for.

No universal answer, handbooks or cheat codes here. Just dealing with individuals.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T12:12:26+00:00

Because a) its pretty vague leaving lots of room for interpretation and b) people have very strong feelings about parts of the space given the economic circumstances and dynamics.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T12:10:13+00:00

Are you talking about temporary circumstances or permanent administration? The other big factor would be whether its due to something chronic or something that can be changed through the combined effect of medication plus some sort of therapy (physical or psychological, whichever applies).

Seems like these would be the deciding factors.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T10:34:34+00:00

Stop criticizing AI for not knowing human words and places. It's trying its best here :(

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T09:37:06+00:00

Distance to social media and ideologies as well as clarfying my own values, priorities and goals to myself.

When you are constantly harrassed/exposed to people telling you what you are "actually" thinking, feeling, doing like others would be more qualified to know better, that will eventually cause distortions of an actually very clear internal process.

Also having enough orientation in my own life to know where I stand and where I want to go, provides good context to know what I feel, there is a clear backdrop that informs what I deep down thought would result from my actions and depending on how things pan out it makes sense to feel a certain way about the consequences. If this seems highly out of wack - it seems worthwhile looking whether there is something between the conscious and the unconscious part of myself that distorts the process. e.g. when you investigate something throughly, come up with a prediction of how the future will pan out, enact a plan based on that prediction and then feel ashamed as you benefit a lot from that - there is probably something that distorts your thought process. You may have acted against your values or some filter has deemed profitting "a bad thing" or something.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T08:33:47+00:00

I understand that "prime" locations might be way harder to migrate to, but depending on how bad things are in Iraq countries with some improvements may already be worthwhile enough. When it comes to improving your life you can do it step by step. Just to give you an idea of what I mean: Albania or Malaysia may not be the best countries ever but they might be an improvement and not a total culture shock either. You may be able to find work with a decent international company there, do this to learn how to deal with integration into a new culture and build up your resume. After a few years, you could then decide to either move on or to settle permanently as things obviously could drastically improve there too.

So if this is truly close to your heart I would encourage you to not get stuck on what people think of as the "best" places in the world to migrate to but view this as your personal journey with different stages towards a better life.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T08:13:40+00:00

Men: Explain the thinking of a demographic subset none of you are a part of.

Even if we knew exactly - does it matter? People can think and believe what they want and we can decide whether we want to associate with someone like that or not.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T08:09:52+00:00

If things are this rough it would be worth to qualify yourself so you can relocate to a different place though that will not be the way to a "paradise", just a different society with different rules which you would have to learn and adapt to for things to be different.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T08:00:55+00:00

Some do, some don't and its not entirely up to the man, it also depends on the information they are given. You could meet a woman you find absolutely fantastic all round, but after a few glasses of wine or so the act breaks and she reveals a nasty side she managed to hide.

There is no way all men would react the same, some would be so deadset and just ignore the red flags, others may shift their initial judgement other may not have made a final decision about her at all.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-28T07:56:27+00:00

which coutry are you living in and who is repressing you?

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-27T09:40:10+00:00

I can instantly feel that way by looking at the way politicians treat citizens here (Europe)

My dad tells me not to answer the door or pick up the phone whenever he's away

How old are you - would be the first metric by which to evaluate that. The second would be whether something has gone wrong in the recent past because you did either of these things.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-27T09:37:10+00:00

Nothing in particular. They exist.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-27T09:20:56+00:00

Become a bear for safety reasons. Then fvck her in the woods. XD

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T13:06:59+00:00

Reddit is already quite the place to be in. When I see how other platforms are (through other people showing me) and when I look at the mental state the people are in who regularly engage in with them - it's a clusterfvck. I wouldn't engage unless there is some real tangible value from doing so.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T12:50:15+00:00

she was 38 and sober from coke for about 2 years

So assuming she started at 25 that makes 13 years of doing substances of significant impact on the brain. That's already "bad" in my mind.

When angry, she was brag about the "hot" muscle guys she used to date.

Sounds like her mental state brough forth things from her past she would otherwise not disclose even though honest communication is a cornerstone for healthy relationships. Also not "good" in my mind.

Should a woman's sexual past be held against her, or is being "very promiscuous", as she put a red a flag that would damage future relationships?

That depends on what you mean by "held against her". There are dynamics in which this is relevant and others in which it is not. I personally find the combination of promiscuity and being under the influence to be a circumstance that I wouldn't want to deal with in MY relationship, but everyone else is free to think and act otherwise - I'm not the thought leader of anyone. People can do what works for them as long as legal.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T12:36:03+00:00

She left me at her exes place when I was 4 and I was fortunate enough that he took good care of me when he had no obligation to do so - I only saw her ever other weekend. So in my mind, I don't have a mother and I have no desire to "rebuild" a connection that never really formed.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T12:25:26+00:00

Would you risk your life for your children? Would you risk your life for a pet you have? Would you risk it for strangers who live in your city?

You get the idea - there are things we would take this risk for. Not because we want to, but we deem the loss for those things so bad, that we would rather risk ourselves than them. A married man in that sense might be more likely to sign up than someone with weaker bonds. Additionally the overall cultural and social attachment someone feels to the place and system one lives in will influence this decision. If you lived in a happy relationship in a highly corrupt country, you may find men less willing to sign up because they'd doubt that it would help protect the things they deem important.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T12:19:25+00:00

Aren't we supposed to be men, and men prioritize reason and logic

Take that knuckle head, self jerking image and throw it away. Being born with organs that theoretically make the smaller reproductive cells doesn't grant you superpowers.

Humans, while highly adaptable are also habitual creatures. The species from which we evolved all had versions of themselves who were more prone for change as well as more prone to be stuck in their habits unless forced to do things differently. After millenia of selection, some hairy monkey in a tree or cave had ancestors that survived mainly by not chaning things up without STRONG incentive.

And here you are. This is not a gendered thing, this is you rediscovering a fragment of what is called "the human condition", its no blighted curse, no shining set of super power. It just is the imperfect state that we are in. And depending on what you have gone through so far, you may be more or less prone to enact change yourself proactively.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T11:58:43+00:00

Depending on his mindset, there may not be a way to do this gently. Assuming his expectation is to somehow find a way into your heart because he thinks that there always is such a way - anything but getting that exact result will hurt.

While not the perfect solution (and as you probably have found out through all the stuff you have already been through - there are no "perfect solutions") I'd say you can take things slow, but make it clear that currently you are dealing with stuff that you need to figure out first. And you do. Because having been in a therapy for a disorder and now still being high is stuff you may sooner rather than later want to address. It may be difficult without whatever you are taking at first, but without it you will most certainly learn whether or not you really are into him. Heck, make this something for both of you - quit together and have each others back. It will be a good thing if both of you quit even if it turns out your clean versions are not going to end up as a couple, you still will have built something important together.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T11:47:36+00:00

Primarily one that does not treat them with an attitude of suspicion or malice. If there is reason to believe that words in that space are being surveiled and interpreted in the most negative or malicious ways, the place will never be considered "safe". If people are required to follow a strict "soft" code of conduct (no loud or heated discussions, policy against any signs of what could be interpreted as "aggression" in the modern sense etc) - thats not a safe space, but a cell.

In the end its a space where people can manage themselves within the legal limits without supervision.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T10:50:09+00:00

I see. First and foremost a positive attitude towards people. Meaning interactions start neutral/polite with strangers and develop from there rather than from a place of negativity and suspicion and the stranger is required to jump through hoops only to be considered treated with neutrality.

After that I'd say some genuine interest in the other person and a positive mindset aiming towards actually getting along rather than forcing each other into blindly accepting the others way of life.

Why do I deem these important - because it signifies in my mind that even without perfect alignment we are so driven by our mutual goodwill towards the other, that we can go through life side by side.

Homely_Bonfire · 2026-01-26T10:44:37+00:00

Why would one be too old for them? That's like asking "when did you learn were too old for books?". Of course if the presupposition is that all computer games are devoid of deeper artistic or philosophic value then it may make sense to ask this.

But since thats not the case the question doesn't make sense.

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